Being BOLD is Scary but Rewarding (sometimes with chocolate)

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yesterday was a day of boldness for me! remember how my word is BOLD for 2014, well i stepped up and did something i wouldn’t normally do. let’s first get the whole story here. my husband has been working incredibly hard to earn his DTM, or Distinguished Toastmaster, which is the highest award Toastmasters gives for both communication and leadership advancement. it’s a pretty big deal and i’m so proud of him!

modern wife ryan avery speakerlast night he met the last part of the requirements by putting on a workshop “the art of evaluation.” as we were training for the World Championship of Public Speaking, we received over 1,000 evaluations! initially, all this meant to me is that i got to pick out some snacks for the people spending the evening with us. my favorite part of any store is the clearance area…50% off plates and napkins woohoo! don’t worry, i got some apples, triscuits (otherwise i would eat all the wheat thins), and other treats in addition to the mini-candy bars (sidenote…do people really like milky way bars or 3 musketeers? not for me).

modern wife cheap platesabout 4 hours before we left for the workshop, the ‘test speaker’ fell through (this is someone who gives a speech and then everyone evaluates them based on the information Ravery provided). i was laying in bed because someone insisted on still kissing me even though he wasย sick and now i have the crud.

anyways, he walked in and between my sneezes said “do you want to be the test speaker tonight?” initially i said “um. does it look like i want to do anything tonight except lay here and complain?” then it happened-i remembered that i am to be BOLD this year, so i said “fine. okay. yes. wait. okay. yes, i’ll do it.” and popped some DayQuil.

i decided to speak about the new wifestyle, in terms of the book i’m writing in addition to how my goal is to help modern wives have an equal voice in their marriages.

modern wife chelsea avery speakerit wasn’t the best speech but it wasn’t the worst either. i spoke for a full 7 minutes and 30 seconds and didn’t even pass out. the evaluations i got from it was that my message was powerful (!), made people laugh but i need to slow down to allow my words to sink in. it’s true that when you are speaking about something from the heart, your anxiety decreases and you feel empowered.

i am used to being the coach and helping people find their confidence, their message and presenting powerful messages but now it’s time to get more comfortable with myself on stage. i am glad i decided to change my initial reaction and thought process and make a bold move.

when we got out to the car afterwards, my husband looked at me with the widest grin on his face and said “this is probably one of proudest moments i’ve witnessed with you. you are bold, you are beautiful and i want to get you a cupcake!” so he did. it was hot chocolate flavored and i ate 2 bites before i realized it was pointless because i couldn’t really taste it.

modern wife chelsea avery boldhe went on to say how impressed he was with my mindset change and he knew i wouldn’t have done that a year ago. while his kind words meant a great deal to me (and totally made me tear up), more importantly…i was proud of myself. i know for a fact that i wouldn’t have done this a year ago because i’ve been asked multiple times and always found excuses. while i know i will still have excuses from time to time, and not always making the bold move, last night my new and improved self won.

the new wifestyle: if you want to change aspects of who you are, make the commitment, find people to hold you accountable and do it.

1) last time you made yourself proud?
2) there’s still time for a word of the year….any takers?
3) would you really choose a milky way/3 musketeers of a twix/snickers?


  1. Heather Hawkins

    January 29, 2014 at 11:14 am

    1) Honestly? I was on the phone with a lady from the bank in Australia, and I really wanted to yell and lose my mind, but I didn’t. I kept my cool and got what I needed to done, but seriously…that lady….that bank…grrrrrr.
    2) I still working on my original one of soft, I think I was able to be a slightly softer me in the face of opposition. I’m always quite ridged. So I’m happy I was able to calm down.
    3) Yep. I like 3 muskeeters a lot but but I have to say, in terms of milky way, there are so many more awesome milky way flavours in Australia than there are here.

    • chelsea

      January 29, 2014 at 11:33 am

      niiiicely done Heather! i think those are big celebrations and i am also proud of you because i know how infuriating those calls can be with customer service people-well done! great to hear you are still working on your ‘soft’ and you are noticing a difference. we would make a good team with that bag of candy then because i would have let you eat all the of the 3 musketeers! and more milky way flavors in Australia-i will need to visit and find out ๐Ÿ™‚

      thanks for your comments Heather-i really appreciate you as a reader and comment-er!

  2. Paula Howley

    January 29, 2014 at 11:31 am

    AWESOME. And now you get to bask in it all! Isn’t that worth it? So proud of you Chelsea.
    1. I have been making myself proud quite a bit lately. I am learning so many things because of my new business. I have been taking marketing courses (and doing the homework!) and social media courses (and doing the homework!) Last week, I issued a press release for the first time ever (thank God for Google, eh people?) and it got picked up by 2 local sources! I actually did a radio interview yesterday about my Head Start Public Speaking For Kids “Kids Presentation Night” which is tonight and I am super jazzed that it actually worked. So yes, I am very proud having pushed myself out of my comfort zone.

    2. I’m not sure I can pick one word. A word that is important to me right now is genuine. I do like BOLD too Chelsea because I am learning to push myself harder.

    3. Coffee Crisp all the way.

    btw, I can’t be the only one in this business who ALWAYS has to double check I haven’t written pubic speaking. lol

    • chelsea

      January 29, 2014 at 11:42 am

      bahahah let’s first talk about that i was roaring with laughter with you ‘always double check you haven’t written pubic speaking’ hahaha i do this ALL the time and then it made me paranoid that i wrote it above. please let me know if and when i do so we can have a good laugh Paula!

      i am SO proud of you and your new business, Paula! it’s super inspiring and SO needed-keep it up with all of that learning and making things happen (congrats on the interview-that’s HUGE!) hope tonight goes beyond excellent and i’m sorry Meg isn’t feeling better.

      Ohhh how about Boldly Genuine or Genuinely Bold or both. ๐Ÿ™‚

      well now i want to try a coffee crisp-guess i’ll have to come back to Canada, eh! thanks Paula for your encouragement-you always make me feel like a rockstar!

  3. leannalindquist

    January 29, 2014 at 11:55 am

    Way to go Chelsea. I wanted to be there, but I have the crud. You definitely deserved the chocolate cupcake..

    • chelsea

      January 29, 2014 at 10:00 pm

      thanks Leanna!! sorry to hear you are sick-hope you are on on the mend and excited to see you soon ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Victor

    January 29, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    Congratulations Chelsea! I really enjoy your blogs and keeping up with you and Ryan!

    As to your questions:

    1. January 25: I gave a 50 minute workshop that turned out close to perfect. ๐Ÿ™‚

    2. My word for the year: mindfulness.

    3. Of the choices given, I would go for Snickers โ€” but prefer none of them.

    Be well!

    • chelsea

      January 29, 2014 at 10:01 pm

      thanks for the congrats, Victor! i appreciate you reading. well done on the 50 minute near-perfect workshop-very well done and congratulations to you! love your word of the year of โ€˜mindfulnessโ€™ i hope you are finding much power in that

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