Why Date Nights are Vital to a Happy Marriage

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do you ever find yourself getting in the same routine with your marriage or relationship? now don’t get me wrong, i love me some routines because they make me feel stable and comfortable but it’s less of a good thing when you start just going through the motions. the motions tend look like this in my relationship when we aren’t traveling:

wake up, kiss, tell one another their breath is horrible, eat breakfast, do a bunch of work, pass in the hallway (because we work from home) give a quick kiss and an ‘i love you,’ i probably have a quick panic attack about being an entrepreneur, eat lunch together that lasts less than 10 minutes, do more work until we realize we are hungry so eat dinner together, maybe watch a tv show or go back to work, brush our teeth, do our 4 questions to fall asleep more in love, nightly smooch, and wake up to do it all again 7 days a week.

these are good days but when this continues day in and day out, you need to spice it up and we find this is best done through an intentional date night…which occurred last night for us!

my husband had a meeting that ended around 6pm so he picked me up (just like when we were dating but not in a ’98 ford taurus) and we headed out to dinner.

i surprised him by putting on a skirt with boots and my leather jacket from russia which i know he loves (when he left for his meeting i was still wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt). that was an added bonus of me feeling prettier and a reminder to him that his wife still has it goin’ on (i refuse to post the selfie i took in the mirror that i sent my mom).

he found this excellent and affordable restaurant in downtown portland called grassaΒ that makes handmade pasta right in front of your very eyes.

very eyes:

date night portland oregon homemade pastait was the best and freshest pasta that has ever crossed my lips. we didn’t talk about business or all of the things we have to do because the next 6 weeks are insanity but instead we shared a meal together as two people very much in love.

he gushed over how pretty i look and how proud he is of me, i smiled and shoveled more pasta in my mouth. i told him i love his brain and soul…then ate off his plate because you can do that when you’re married.

date night portland ryan averywe talked about going somewhere swanky and getting a drink…then we remembered that we love ice cream cones and haven’t had real life ice cream in about 2 months (thanks to the 50 day challenge) so we went to salt & straw instead! it was the right choice for the tastebuds and the wrong choice for someone who is lactose intolerant but it was worth it.

i got the ‘alpine s’mores’ created by a 1st grader from a school in SE portland. it contains graham cracker crumble, marshmallow fluff, locally roasted chocolate and ‘ribbons of huckleberry jam.’ this kid is a genius.

it was on. point.

date night salt and straw s'moresthe hubs selected ‘the lumberjack’ flavor which tasted exactly like blueberry pancakes!

apparently only rain clings to my glasses and not his?

date night portland salt and straw chelsea and ryan averywe sat and giggled and appreciated our change of scenery and change of routine. when don’t ever want to become so comfortable with one another that you ‘get used’ to having such a fantastic person in your life if you don’t step back and appreciate that person, often times as you did when you first met.

remember that excitement when you first started dating? how you’d get ready, do your hair, not pee in front of one another?! you’d anxiously await their phone call or text message and the slight brush of their hand against yours would cause a zillion butterflies to freak out in your stomach? evoke those feelings again because chances are you are married to an even better version of that person you first started dating.

i get that life is crazy and money can be tight, but make an effort and be intentional about going on a date with the person you love. it will do wonders for your relationship, your passion and your marriage.

the new wifestyle: keep dating even after marriage and don’t get too comfortable!Β 

1) do you have planned date nights or are they more spontaneous?
2) where was your first date together?
3) last time you had ice cream and what flavor?


  1. Heather Hawkins

    April 24, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    1) We plan the day we are going to go only because of babysitters and such….then the date usually happens however it happens when it comes time for it.
    2) I actually don’t know, but it was probably Mystere in Las Vegas.
    3) Probably 2 weeks ago, it was caramel, dark chocolate, and vanilla.

    • chelsea

      April 25, 2014 at 3:30 pm

      ohhh right i forgot we have the luxury of not planning since we don’t have to care for another human πŸ™‚ ohhh vegas is fun first date heather and that ice cream sounds delicious! hope you are getting settled into australia!

  2. Marc Gabris

    April 24, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    Awesome! Great tips and post! I especially liked the wisdom about the person you’re with being a better version of the one you met and were so excited about – so true! I’ll remember that : )

    • chelsea

      April 25, 2014 at 3:32 pm

      thanks marc for reading and commenting-glad you found it useful! i am reminding myself more and more about how i have an even better version of the guy i started dating 7 years ago πŸ™‚

  3. Paula Howley

    April 24, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    1. We have to plan because we live out in the boonies and there aren’t a ton of places to go. Also, he is working 2 jobs AND learning how to carve Native America masks in his spare time. (we are working hard to pay off some debt so a little sacrifice is happening these days). I am trying to play catch up with home school and do my job as well. Our next date isn’t for a MONTH but we are going to see the opera “Pauline” in Vancouver. It’s about the Pauline Johnson the native writer,actress, poet and it written by world famous author and man-hater (lol) Margaret Atwood. EXCITED!!!! It is an overnight as well.
    2. We never really had a first date because we were absolute tramps who slept together the night we met at a strip club. No word of a lie. then we never saw each other for 3 months but corresponded by mail and phone and then I moved out to BC and just moved in with him. Weird eh?
    3. I HAVE to tell you what happened. My husband works at BC Ferries and next to his terminal is a little restaurant. last Saturday, the 2 ladies that own the place were cleaning out their freezers which were FILLED with Drumsticks, Ice Cream Sandwiches, Creamsicle, Fudgesicles, Magnums, and various regular popsicles. They gave all of last year’s ice cream to Lloyd and Meg!!!!
    We have a 3 foot high freezer and it was FILLED TO THE TOP with this ice cream. We made absolute pigs of ourselves for a day but then I sent Meg out for Easter with FULL bags of ice cream for the neighbours. It was a HUGE hit. She had a BLAST. We still have a ton of ice cream and I’m pretty close to just tossing it in the garbage because no possible good can come from it.

    • chelsea

      April 25, 2014 at 3:37 pm

      wow sounds busy busy in your household but SO happy to hear you have a date on the books, paula! sounds like a fun date, hope the play is fantastic and woohoo overnight πŸ˜‰ hahha oh goodness you make me laugh out loud “we were both absolute tramps…” i think you need to guest blog on here about your relationship-we would all roar with laughter and learn a lot!

      i am trying really hard to just be happy for you about your 3 foot high ice cream freezer but there is some jealous happening too! that’s AMAZING!!!! that was sweet that meg shared for easter, i bet people were thrilled. at least save a few drumsticks and magnums-daaaaamn!