Sometimes I Say the Wrong Thing…

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for the past few days my husband has been working with a client so i’ve had our whole place to myself to get a lot of work done (aka eat constantly and distract myself from working because no one is here to hold me accountable).

last week he ordered some new glasses and on his way home last night, he picked them up.

as he walks in the front door (and i put down the book i’m holding so it appears i’ve been doing something other than staring out the window for 27 minutes), i do a double take as i stare at his face. i jump up and truly shriek “ohhhmagoooodness  ewwww YOU LOOK LIKE A DAD!”

he is obviously taken back because apparently those weren’t the words he was expecting me to say. i miss this social cue completely because i’m looking around to see if there are at least 3 small children trailing behind him calling him, ‘daddy.’

after the coast is clear, i continually repeat “wow. like…a really cool dad. a hip father. someone’s parent. don’t get me wrong…i like them…but whoa.”

he stares at me for a few more moments and then goes look in a mirror. i realize this is not how i should be responding. picking out glasses is a huge deal (if you don’t wear glasses then don’t challenge me on this) and he was looking for his wife to validate and approve of his choice. i did no such thing.

i took a moment to think about how i would want him to respond to me if i came through the door with some new specs. i would want him gushing over how they fit my face and personality perfectly, how they elongate my eyelashes and give the viewer a lens into my soul.

i look at him and apologize. “i am sorry those were the first words out of my mouth. those glasses look fantastic on you! you did a great job picking them out. i was caught off guard by how ma-tooour (like ‘mature’ but with the snubby pronunciation-my attempt at using humor to diffuse the situation) you look and my reaction was mostly due to the fact that i’m not ready to be a mom yet which means you cannot be a dad. i really do like them, you look super sexy, i love you and i’m sorry.” (i left out the elongated eyelashes but he knows to say that to me).

ryan and chelsea avery glassesi also said that maybe this pair of glasses will help us look less like siblings? maybe?

ravery, being the forgiving and standup guy that he is…forgave me. he also put a gentle reminder out there that how we communicate with one another matters. this is so true-before you speak or react, think about how your spouse or partner might respond. are you communicating your true feelings and intentions or are other things getting in the way? once you put something out there, you cannot take it back but only hope the other person will give you a chance to right your wrong and take responsibility.

responsibility taken my dear husband and do your best to keep those glasses in good condition because they will be the sexiest dad glasses eveeer in 3-5 years, even though they are incredibly hip just-husband-not-dad-glasses now!

the new wifestyle: think it through before you react and know that your words carry the strongest weight with your spouse.

1) do you wear glasses or contacts or one of those annoying people with perfect vision?
2) last time you didn’t react well with your significant other?
3) do people ever tell you and your sweetie look alike?


  1. Stazi

    March 20, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    Boyfriend and I fortunately look nothing alike, but as a non glasses wearer and amazingly indecisive person,whenI ask if he prefers the contacts or the glasses….”It’s up to you”. “Which of these pairs of glasses are most asthetically pleasing” “Iunno. You choose.” It’s akin to ramming my head against a wall.

    • chelsea

      March 20, 2014 at 4:36 pm

      ohhh be very thankful that you don’t look anything alike Stazi-it’s weird when strangers comment on this. ha! that also sounds like not the funnest way to decide on his corrective vision! i’d say pop in those contacts and let’s goooo!

  2. Kristi Beres

    March 20, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    I wear glasses when I drive, or if I’m outside for a long time, or if I know I’ll be watching something from a distance.

    My significant others are my cat and dog.

    If someone tells me I look like my dog, I try not to take offense and accept we are both white, fluffy and occasionally drool pizza and Starbucks baked goods.

    • chelsea

      March 20, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      lucky that you have your tasks down for when you need glasses and it isn’t all the time, Kristi! i also appreciate that you will not take offense if anyone says you look like your dog-haha love that you are both white, fluffy and love food! me too 🙂

  3. Heather Hawkins

    March 20, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    1) My glasses are so thick, they can’t be made at lenscrafters 🙁 and they never stock my script of contacts. BUT they say I am finally a candidate for LASIK because this is the first time my eyes haven’t changed in 2 years EVER!
    2) I don’t think I have a particularly good example for the last little while, but I have been known to have foot-in-mouth sydrome!
    3) Nope! But people used to think my bro was my boyfriend when we went to like Target and stuff with the kiddo. We TOTALLY didn’t understand that at all!

    • chelsea

      March 20, 2014 at 4:41 pm

      yay for being a candidate for LASIK Heather! i just got my approval too with those stationary eyes so now to save up 🙂 isn’t it thrilling!? haa funny (and gross but in the opposite way from ours) that people used to think your brother and you were together…people are craaaazy.

  4. Charlie O'Keefe

    March 21, 2014 at 8:09 am

    1) I wear both, although I’ve been on my last pair of 2-week contacts for about 4 months
    2) Not the last time, but the most memorable is when Ali was excited to show me her French braid, and my response was, “Oh. Oh cool, it’s like a lady combover!”
    3) Fortunately we never get told that we look alike

    • chelsea

      March 21, 2014 at 4:12 pm

      ahhhh Charlie take your contacts out immediate and put fresh ones in!!! 🙂 i honestly laughed out loud at ‘lady combover braid’ haaa but i bet Ali suuuure didn’t like that. i am also impressed she can french braid her hair-a skill i’ve always been jealous of!

  5. jimkey66

    March 21, 2014 at 11:44 am


    1) I wear contacts some of the time, but glasses most of the time.

    2) Since I’m on Spouse 2.0 (aka. The Final Spouse), I’ve learned to measure my reactions. I’m not perfect at it, by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m better.

    3) No, not even close. 😉

    I genuinely laughed at your “you look like a dad” passage. I take that phrase as one of the highest compliments anyone could pay me. I also understand that I’m in a different phase of life than you and Ryan. No worries… If/when y’all get to that point, I’m guessing that your take on it will probably evolve.

    • chelsea

      March 21, 2014 at 4:24 pm

      love the spouse 2.0-final spouse that made me smile 🙂 and glad to hear you’ve learned to measure your reactions-i’m still working on it! also be thankful you don’t look anything alike because it’s always a buzz kill when people saw “aww you make such a cute couple…and actually you totally look like brother and sister” ew.

      happy to hear that looking like a dad is one of your highest compliments 🙂 i bet you are right that when we decide to have kids-i will be thrilled but for now it freaks me ooooout!