Relationship Goals | October

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i originally had a very long post containing our relationship goals as well as celebrating our sweet puppies birthday but then realized it was even too crazy for me so i shall publish the puppy party shortly!

Chelsea and Ryan Avery PSL Fall

remember when we decided to start setting relationship goals since so many of us focus on career and education goals but in my humble opinion-your relationship is more important than those yet most people don’t set them? thanks to amberly for starting this series, last month i figured out how to set relationship goals and off we went.

how we did on our goals last month:

1) electronic free zone– we agreed to spend at least 30 minute with no phones/computers and we did this for the most part but didn’t call it out as blatantly as i thought we would. i think i was expecting a horn toot to happen each day to signal for us to put our phones down but that didn’t happen. we were both more conscious about it and realized how much more attentive we were to one another without those electronics around.

2) cook 2 new recipes each– we nailed this one! my husband spent 5 whole hours making me cinnamon rolls from scatch and it was paula deen’s recipe so he used a pound of butter and they were life changing. our family has started a petition for him to make these at christmas because he swore he wouldn’t make them again until our 25th wedding anniversary because they were so labor intensive. i think we are up to 9 signatures now. please cast your vote in the comment section if you think ravery should make these for us at christmas.

cinnamon roll home made portlandhe also made us mediterranean-herb-parmesan-encrusted-chicken with zucchini pancakes (which sort of crumbled together but still tasted excellent). when i asked him for the recipe to share here he said, “oh well…i looked at a few of them and then kind of just made it up. sorry.

yeah-you should be sorry bucko because people who can just make up delicious tasting recipes have some sort of talent that makes me envious and leery of them at the same time.  he’s so fancy.

IMG_0587i made a simple yet delicious pot roast recipe while not burning the house down and made pumpkin pancakes which thoroughly stressed me out (recipe on thursday). they weren’t necessarily hard, i just am a panic-cooker so i ate my feelings with whipped toppings straight to tongue.


through this goal i realized that he’s more intensive and thoughtful in his selection of recipes while i definitely went for the easy to recreate again recipes that did not involve me touching raw meat. this probably says something deeper about our relationship but i’m leaving it at that.

3) dream sessions out loud: this made more uncomfortable than i thought it would at first. talking out loud about your lofty dreams and goals is a bit scary for me but we both really loved this. in order to believe you can really achieve what you set out to do, you first have to get comfortable saying them out loud.

when we talked about our goals for october, we realized that we would actually be spending about half of october apart because of our different travel schedules AND we go to china at the end of the month. i’m just going to leave that there for a minute so it can sink in for me too (CHINA! AH!)

our main goal for the month of october is to read and implement, rich dad poor dad by robert t. kiyosaki!

i know it can be really hard to figure out how to even talk about finances with your spouse so i wrote about how we got started and our own personal finance setup.

i had the brilliant idea of checking out TWO of these books from the library so we could read it together, discuss it and start implementing a new thought process around money. we are liking it so much we bought a copy so we could write ideas in the margins and highlight the concepts that make your mind go, “ohhhh. whoa.”

we are finding that talking about our relationship goals each month has made us feel closer and made our marriage more of a priority. it’s not like these just flow naturally into our minds but we intentionally take time to talk about what we want from our relationship and go from there.

1) have you set any relationship goals recently? please share away!
2) when it comes to cooking, do you enjoy it and are you one of those people that can just make up recipes?
3) money. how do you and your partner talk about money and have you thought about learning more about it together?

bonus: should my husband make us homemade cinnamon rolls for christmas?

 Marriage & Relationship Goals


  1. Amberly

    October 7, 2014 at 10:25 am

    You guys had GREAT goals last month and did a really great job with them!!! 🙂 I applaud you for stepping out of your comfort zone and talking about all of your goals and dreams!! 🙂 That’s an awesome thing to do and probably made a huge difference in your marriage!
    I also thought it was interesting how you pointed out that you didn’t call each other out on media use as much. I’m doing a research study in one of my classes right now on perception of partner media use in couples. One thing we’re trying to figure out is if both partners are using media at the same time, will it have less of a negative affect on the marriage than if you’re using them separately maybe when the other spouse wants to hang out and spend time together!
    Amberly recently posted…Settling Into Our Home – Marriage & Relationship Goals

    • chelsea

      October 7, 2014 at 11:00 am

      thanks amberly! so happy you brought these into our lives! sounds like a super interesting research study and i would definitely agree that if you are both sucked into the vortex of media, you will probably find it to be less annoying than if only one of you is while the other waits for attention. report back after your findings because i think media hugely influences relationships!
      chelsea recently posted…Relationship Goals | October

  2. Lindsay @ The Newlywed Notebook

    October 7, 2014 at 10:38 am

    Relationship goals are so important! Eric and I had kind of gotten out of that over the summer just because it was so crazy, but are finally starting to get back into the swing of things. And China – how awesome!!
    Lindsay @ The Newlywed Notebook recently posted…A Monday for Reviews

    • chelsea

      October 7, 2014 at 11:01 am

      glad you and eric are getting back into the swing of things with relationship goals! it’s interesting to think about how we tend to be such a goal oriented couple yet we don’t have many short-term goals for our marriage!

      and yes china-crazytown but it will be some fun once i wrap my head around this 🙂

  3. Amanda Wood

    October 7, 2014 at 10:51 am

    These are great! I love this idea. I may have to bring it up to Hubs and see what he thinks.
    Amanda Wood recently posted…Awesome

    • chelsea

      October 7, 2014 at 11:02 am

      you definitely should, amanda! i love that goals can be big and little so maybe even starting out with having a goal of going for a walk or eating a meal together every day can be really beneficial! hopefully he’s on board with it 🙂

  4. Rebecca

    October 7, 2014 at 11:04 am

    I am really impressed with your husband’s mad cooking skills. Does he give lessons? My husband’s most impressive meal is tacos. But only if he can buy a taco kit that comes with everything. It’s a good thing he’s cute! I vote yes to homemade cinnamon rolls. He can mail me some while he’s at it 😉
    Rebecca recently posted…My One Summer Holdover

    • chelsea

      October 7, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      i was really impressed too, rebecca! i tried to get him to agree to cooking another two new recipes this month too but no dice (understandably since we won’t be here that much but give me mooore)! hah your husband and i have the same cooking skills 🙂 thank you for your vote of cinnamon rolls and we will see what we can do about express mail!

  5. Helene

    October 7, 2014 at 11:35 am

    I love these! It really is important to cultivate a relationship and spend quality time together. love the electronic free time.

    • chelsea

      October 7, 2014 at 12:59 pm

      thanks helene for stopping by and that electronic free time is soooo important (but admittedly hard sometimes). i’ve been surprised how much i like setting these goals with my boo!

  6. Pebby Garner

    October 7, 2014 at 11:45 am

    Yes, Ryan should make you cinnamon rolls for Christmas…start a new tradition.

    I love to cook and bake, just not in my current kitchen. It is so small!! (Of course, I live in apartment). I have a recipe for cinnamon rolls that does not take 5 hours (it only takes about 3). There are times when I can throw something together and it tastes good.

    Money…is a tough subject. I want to be involved in the decisions if I ever get married again. I also believe that each partner should have some spending money that does not need to be accounted for to the other partner. What that limit is dependent on the income of the couple. The necessities come first.

    • chelsea

      October 7, 2014 at 1:10 pm

      thanks for your vote, pebby!!! i’m tracking these and building a case 🙂 ohh i’ll have to let ryan know that others can make cinnamon rolls in only 3 hours!

      agreed that money is a tough subject, particularly because we grow up with such different ideas and relationships around money. i should have included an article i wrote about this (you’ve inspired me to include it now!) because it can be so difficult to even start the conversation of money.

      i agree with you that not every dollar should have to be tracked and both people should be involved with how and where the money is spent. thanks for your thoughts pebby!

  7. Rachel G

    October 8, 2014 at 12:44 am

    I totally make up recipes and tend to frustrate people who want to know how I cook something because although I can name all the ingredients–I can’t name quantities. Measuring cups are for those less lazy than I.
    Rachel G recently posted…Flying Kites

    • chelsea

      October 10, 2014 at 10:41 am

      that is a fantastic talent that does tend to frustrate us of lesser skill that rely heavily on measuring cups to ensure our cooking success!

  8. Charlene Maugeri

    October 9, 2014 at 6:37 am

    Wow! You guys did awesome on your goals from last month. And this month’s finance goal is great! I may have to check out that book.
    Charlene Maugeri recently posted…I’m Just Gonna Shake it Off

    • chelsea

      October 10, 2014 at 10:42 am

      thanks charlene! definitely check the book out, it’s been really great and incredibly insightful about how i was raised by my middle class family to think about money (along with most of other people)!

  9. Jennifer Haston

    October 25, 2014 at 7:06 am

    1) have you set any relationship goals recently? please share away!
    We have made a promise to talk about everything, even if it’s uncomfortable. We are doing well with this, still rough but important
    2) when it comes to cooking, do you enjoy it and are you one of those people that can just make up recipes? I do enjoy it. its been a heck of an evolution, I don’t say “oh boy, time to cook, but since Jeremy and I do the cooking together ( sometimes I do it by myself ) its made more enjoyable by us having fun with food!
    3) money. how do you and your partner talk about money and have you thought about learning more about it together?
    Well we just paid off my car and it was truly a testament to how much we have learned about money and ourselves and working a budget and putting away more money toward debt and all we have left is his car now! It’s so exciting to realize how much we will be able to give and save when we we are out of debt. It’s great!
    bonus: should my husband make us homemade cinnamon rolls for christmas?
    Jennifer Haston recently posted…A Clean Slate

    • Jennifer Haston

      October 25, 2014 at 7:07 am

      oh and Ryan should totally make the cinnamon rolls for Christmas and I think you should help him.. it might help you to feel more comfortable about the process 🙂
      Jennifer Haston recently posted…A Clean Slate