5 Ways to ‘Do Something’ to Strengthen Your Relationship

i moved away from colorado and to portland 1,870 days ago today. yes, i did the math because i like to be dramatic. it’s been great/amazing/scary/shitty/spectacular/overwhelming/life changing. i am not wanting this post to get into all the details of what i love/hate about portland vs. denver but that sounds like a rip-roaring good post for another time!

the thing i miss the most about colorado is my family. sometimes i just want to go sit and drink peach margaritas on the deck with my mom or roast marshmallows with my dad but that always requires a plane ride. i am grateful that it’s not like i have to jump on the oregon trail in a covered wagon and ford rivers to get home (i totally shot the most buffalo on those huge macintosh computers in elementary school).

i do talk to my parents multiple times a week, swap texts with my sister who is currently galavanting around alaska on her honeymoon-yay! still- isn’t the same.

my mom does an amazing job of sending me little care packages filled with goodies and the best cards in the world-it’s a talent of hers really.

those are all from her except for the one where someone voted for me for president. i think it’s valid vote? i realize it’s august but june was just such an excellent month i still don’t want to change it.

the card that is speaking to me today is “dreams don’t happen because we dream them…they happen because we do something about them.” in the teeny tiny print it reads “nothing marvelous was ever accomplished without a little marvelous risk.”

she just sent me another care package and it contained this amazing bag, which made me cry and super appropriate since we leave for malaysia on sunday.

she also sent me and my sister matching bracelets (and she has one too) that look like this:

my mom works with a woman whose daughter started a non-profit in africa and it merged with the world youth education trust! the bracelet was made by women in her village in uganda and my mom felt like they represented what strong, independent women can do. i love it.

also in this care package was an article about making marriage last. two days before my grandma sent me the exact same one! love my family and it’s like they know i’m obsessed with relationships and marriage.

tidbits from it, “according to the US government, more than 2.1 million couples tie the knot every year.”

this article was about the happy and positive side to what makes marriage work, instead of what tears them down. anton and phyllis grosz, who have been married for 50 years say “mutual goals are far more important than mutual interests. it’s not where you come from that matters, but where you’re going.” i love that a lot.

the key points inside:

1) remember you’re a team: it should be both of you against the world, not against each other

2) show tenderness: be kind and positive towards one another

3) soften conflict with humor: this can dissipate negative emotions and keep things from spiraling out of control

4) support but don’t smother: find the balance and what type of support your spouse needs without being annoying

5) celebrate each other: don’t just be there for each other during the tough times but also the exciting ones!

good reminders as we move halfway into this week. now i’m going to go find my team member and plant a wet sloppy kiss on him!

to bring my ramblings full circle, let’s go back to the card with quote of ‘dreams don’t just happen..we have to do something about them.” we can’t just dream to have an amazing marriage and relationship, but we have to take action and work for it. i like that and i’ll go ahead and pat myself on the back for tying this post together. *pat pat

questions:
1) how often do you talk with your family?
2) did you play the ‘oregon trail?’
3) how are you strengthening your marriage today?