5 Beliefs You Must Hold to Go After Your Dreams

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i am still slowly coming to terms with the idea that social workers don’t suck at being entrepreneurs (aka my life now). for those of you new to reading this-my husband is a professional speaker and executive coach while i manage our business operations and do coaching/speaking as well.

i also have some big, scary, and exciting dreams/goals for the this here website of ‘the new wifestyle’ so stay tuned…

here are 5 things i’ve learned over the past year of owning a business with my husband that are essential to going after your dreams:

1) i am capable.

not only am i capable but WE (meaning you and me and that guy sitting over there on that bench) are capable of whatever we are trying to accomplish, i’ve discovered that we are actually capable of more than we set out to do initially. when you have “those days” when you find it hard to believe this, call a friend, family member or mentor help remind you because it’s the cold, hard, scary truth! in order to discover we are capable, we must first be bold.

relationship blog be bold

2) time is more precious than money

sure, we all need money and it makes the world go ’round and who doesn’t love a new purse every now and then but there is something so much greater than making money…it is choosing how to spend your time. you can always make more money one way or another but no matter what-once time is gone, it is gone forever. i’ve found it incredibly rewarding to spend my most precious resource (time) doing what i want and when i want to most recently with starting a small business. admittedly, i have also spent some of this precious time wasting away in front of mind-numbing TV shows, countless hours on facebook and having panic attacks. hey, i never said i had this down 100%-only that i’m learning.

3) dreams don’t get accomplished between 9-5

i’m in the midst of reading the “4 hour work week” by timothy ferriss and he calls to attention the fact that the 9am-5pm work day is completely made-up by society and really pointless in terms of productivity. of course it gives us structure to function in the world but no way does every single person’s job take 8 hours to complete, typically 5 days out of the week. this truly blew my mind. whether you are working at a company during the day and pursuing your dreams around that or getting to dream while you work, dreams don’t get accomplished during a specific set of hours.

that being said, dreams need to turn into goals which need to have tangible actions and timeframes around them but they don’t have to be in sync with everyone else. i used to be of the mindset that my productivity had to occur strictly within the hours of 9-5 and before or after that was “me time” which usually meant zoning out in front of a TV or blank wall. you need to figure out when and where you are most productive and sometimes that is outside in the sunshine.

it’s finally summer in portland and my soul (and pasty skin) need to be outside!


4) you create your own reality

when people used to say to me “you can be whatever you want to be” and “go confidently in the direction of you dreams and live the life you’ve imagined” i may have provided a very serious eye-roll in their general direction. see, i used to be a pretty pessimistic person but i’m working on that. i am also very lucky to have met a guy that helped me realize these weren’t just cheesy things on magnets but could actually be our life if we decided we wanted to make our dreams a reality.

i had the MOST transformative year of my life last year because i had a total and complete mindset shift. i do still provide some empathy to fellow eye-rollers because i know it’s hard to grasp that you can create your own reality if this is something you never thought to be true.

also remember i’m still a social worker so i’ll just get all cognitive-behavioral and process-y on your ass and encourage you to give it a shot when you roll your eyes. you already don’t have what you want, so what’s the worst that could happen? if you don’t like something, change it. you are in charge of your own reality.

5) goals, cookies and hugs are vital for dreams

i’ve found these three things to be essential when working for your dreams, particularly when you work from home. set up a schedule with your goals and stick to it. it helps to keep you focused, your goals on track and to aid a little bit in the hours lost on the crazy inter-web. need help setting SMART goals? go here!

the cookies are vital for stress relief and celebrations.


the hugs are to yourself for being brave and bold in this new reality you are creating. hugs are also important from people who fully support you and what you are doing. this may not always be your close friends or family members so find those fellow dreamers and mentors (and hopefully your spouse) and don’t be afraid to ask for some serious hugging because this biznass is ain’t for the weak of heart!

chelsea and ryan

the new wifestyle: be bold, be capable and be kind to yourself

i loooove comments so please answer one (or all!) of the questions below or leave a comment. please also pass this article on to a fellow friend who is a dreamer!

1) share one of your dreams with me! c’mon-be bold.
2) what else would you add to the above list for reaching your dreams?
3) who is your ‘go-to’ person that you can count on for dreaming with?


  1. Carlen Lloyd

    July 9, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    1.I would LOVE to get my Advocare (www.advocare.com/13094336) business booming like CRAZY! I know I’ve been lacking confidence but I know I’m a determined person 🙂
    2. I would love to be able to pay for my daughter’s wedding next summer- and also I am job hunting so getting a job to get my foot in the door as I’m a student getting my Bachelor’s Degree in HR Management.
    3. The one “go-to” person that I go to is my boyfriend, Nic. We’ve been through so much in the last 4 years but yet we’re still together and he’s my biggest cheerleader!
    Thanks for a great post, Chelsea! Sorry I’ve been outta the loop for awhile!!

    • chelsea

      July 9, 2014 at 6:24 pm

      thanks for sharing your goal carlen….i know that feeling about lacking confidence but i heard just this week something along the lines of “well you don’t already have the business/upgrade/etc so what is there to lose?” you got this!

      congrats to your daughter getting married next summer-how exciting!!! fingers crossed for you in the job hunt for you and keep rocking it at school! so happy your boyfriend Nic is there for you and your biggest cheerleader-love it! hope you’re doing well and thanks for the comment carlen!

  2. Ryan Avery

    July 9, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    I feel so luck I get to see you transform into this amazing Entrepreneurial Social Worker! I love you and am so proud of all the work you are doing. Keep it up, you add value to those you serve and your writing is helping change people’s lives.

    • chelsea

      July 9, 2014 at 6:25 pm

      i feel even more luck, mr avery 🙂 thanks for all of your support and giving me nuggets of confidence when i’ve eaten all mine up (see what i did there? like chicken nuggets?) 🙂 xo

  3. Joan

    July 10, 2014 at 4:59 am

    This post totally spoke to me today because I’ve been doing some “dreaming” lately, and you’re absolutely right…we do need to be bold at times to accomplish these dreams!

    • chelsea

      July 11, 2014 at 7:54 am

      i am so happy to hear that joan-keep on dreaming (and doing)! channeling some more boldness today! thanks for the comment 🙂

  4. lovedandlivedin

    July 10, 2014 at 9:05 am

    I needed to hear this today, Chelsea! I especially like the part about time being more important than money. Many times with starting a new business I get so caught up in the fact that I’m not seeing the financial benefit yet, but that will come and like you said there are other ways to make money. Thanks for a great post!

    • chelsea

      July 11, 2014 at 7:56 am

      thank you for reading and commenting erin! i know what you mean about starting a new business (already terrifying) and then it can be hard not to see the immediate financial payoff so i’ve had to do a better job of looking at what some of my other payoffs are 🙂 keep rocking it!

  5. Pingback: How to Accomplish Impossible Things (again) | the new wifestyle

  6. Jennifer Haston

    August 2, 2014 at 11:13 am

    Awesome post! I think my favourite part was when you talked about going “social worker” on the eye-rollers!

    1) share one of your dreams with me! c’mon-be bold. Debt-Free, To give a Ted Talk that inspires other people to live their dreams. Performing with Bette Midler. Being directed by Woody Allen. Playing a meaty role on “House of Cards” –maybe Claire’s sister?
    2) what else would you add to the above list for reaching your dreams? Baby steps matter. We are learning that through debt reduction. 100.00 here and 300.00 there.. not fast enough but you know, by being intentional and doing something every day, every week and every month, we will be debt-free in a year!
    3) who is your ‘go-to’ person that you can count on for dreaming with?Dr. Sapana Donde-she is a clinical psychologist who is full of enthusiasm, Dr. Keya Howard, just months away from her PHD. I have been calling her doctor since I heard what her goal was to encourage her.. and in turn she calls me Professor Haston but i have no professorial degree so it sounds really good and highfalutin when I need a boost.

    • chelsea

      August 4, 2014 at 9:51 am

      thanks for your comment and insights jennifer! and best believe i will get all ‘social worker’ up on them 🙂

      wow-you have some incredible dreams/goals jennifer! i especially love all the roles you want to play as an actress and yes please be claire’s sister!! can’t wait to see your TED talk! absolutely with those baby steps and that’s something i need to remember too. those small steps towards a bigger goal take time and also show that you’re serious about it. so glad you’ve found your ‘go-to’ person in Dr. howard!