When Your Friends Become Moms
i love cards. i love picking out cards, i love sending people cards, i love receiving cards. i just love the whole thing of it. yes, my love language is ‘words of affirmation’ so this will come to no surprise to you. what may surprise you is that i’m totally the person standing the card aisle wiping away tears while flipping through all the sweet sentiments printed on overpriced paper. that’s me.
this is especially true around mother’s day and father’s day because so many cards just make me well up with gratitude for my parents.
something strange happened this year as i was meticulously selecting the perfect mother’s day cards for my mom, grandma, and mother-in-law. i suddenly realized that i needed to buy mother’s day cards for two of my close friends that are new moms! maybe you have already gone through that stage in your life when suddenly the friends you used to do scandalous things with in college (but not too crazy, i mean, we didn’t get arrested or anything jeeeeez) now add “mom” to their identities.
our biggest conversations used to consist of how we were going to wake up for our 8am class, why brownies don’t cook thoroughly in a bread pan and running around semi-soberly in the snow. now it’s about what directions our lives are taking, super cute new dish-ware and how they are going to get the baby on the outside (it’s still insanely foreign to me). this is what happens when your friends become moms and you start growing up.
remember how obsessed i was with touching my soulfriend lindsey’s belly when she came to the pacific northwest a few months ago? the only thing cuter than her being pregnant is the baby that came out of her…baby caleb!
i got to play with him over christmas and now i constantly bug her to send me more photos. she’s been my closest (yet not physically booooo) friend to have a baby and it’s still blowing my mind. please also notice that we didn’t even plan it but ALL of us are wearing stripes. #soulfriends.
caleb is a ridiculously adorable baby and not one of those “well he sort of looks like an alien baby but it’s still cute.” no. this baby is like a model baby and that’s just a fact.
i am so excited that i just booked a trip home to colorado in june to play with him more and teach him all about harry potter and other important things in life. i also get to meet my friend kate’s new baby, lenna! AND my friend here in portland (remember jessica? she’s fantastic) is due any day with her second baby!
while standing in that card aisle, i had one of those shifting moments where i felt time catch up for the slightest second. here’s the thing, i still don’t really feel like i’m old enough to have a kid, even though i’m 28. also my biological clock may be broken so there’s that too.
by needing to buy a few extra cards for these new mother’s in my life was a very tangible way of realizing that life changes, whether we are ready for it or not. while i’m not ready to be a mom, it is incredible to watch my friends take on this new and very important role in their lives.
i distinctly remember looking at lindsey for the first time as a mom when she so naturally attended to what caleb needed. if i cry in card aisle, you best believe i was crying then.
i am grateful to have been raised by a strong woman, my ‘aunties’, my grandma and now have a fabulous mother-in-law who loves me too. i am also grateful to be a part of my friends’ lives as they move into motherhood and become those strong women who are raising caring, compassionate and amazing little humans!
happy mother’s day weekend to all you fabulous, bold, strong, selfless, encouraging and capable moms out there. your job is toughest but we are glad you do it!
questions:
1) have you experienced a close friend becoming a mom yet? what was that like for you?
2) if you are a mom, what has been the biggest change in terms of life outlook for you?
3) any plans for mother’s day? (i sent my mom a card with a big IOU for drinks on the town when i come to colorado next month!)
Amanda
May 8, 2015 at 8:08 am
It is so crazy, isn’t it? We’re at the stage in lives where our friends are having babies…on purpose! It is crazy how much our lives change as we grow older and what becomes important. And your friend and her baby are totally gorgeous.
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chelsea
May 8, 2015 at 8:50 am
yeeeees it really is!!! it’s nuts. it’s just such a foreign experience for me to think about until (and if ) it happens to me! isn’t caleb unfairly cute?! it’s almost too much and yes that lindsey is gorgeous making gorgeous babies 🙂
chelsea recently posted…When Your Friends Become Moms
Audrey
May 8, 2015 at 8:10 am
We have twin lives. Seriously. (Except for you getting to travels to all 7 continents this year and all… that’s not happening in my life right now…)
My bestest best bestie became a mom in January and I’m literally obsessed with my “niece.” (It totally creeps my hubby out when I say I need to go see “my baby”, lol.) Also, I still haven’t adjusted to seeing my best friend as a mom… Like, it was only a month ago we were drunkenly ordering +100 chicken nuggets from McDonalds and playing in the snow with not nearly enough clothing on, right?? (See?? Twins.)
But I’m so crazy proud & happy for her (and her husband). I’m glad you reminded me to get her a card for our brunch tomorrow morning! I’m planning to teach baby Elliot all about HP, too! Hubby & I aren’t quite ready for kids yet, but I’m so happy to have a baby in our lives that we can spoil and cuddle!
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chelsea
May 8, 2015 at 8:53 am
haha yay twinning! well you can always journey with us virtually audrey 🙂
totally jealous you get to see your friend frequently, soak that up for me! hahah also ordering 100+ chicken nuggets AND snow play?! we are twins. enjoy brunch tomorrow and have fun picking out the card for your friend’s first mother’s day!!!!
Melissa Camacho
May 8, 2015 at 8:54 am
You’re such a sweet friend!! Baby Caleb is adorable!! I was definitely the first of my friends to have babies. Now everyone else seems to be following suit 5 years later lol
Melissa Camacho recently posted…Fight The Green Eyed Monster!
chelsea
May 8, 2015 at 9:15 am
he’s the cutest!!! i can’t wait to love on him more next month! oh that would be interesting to be the first of your friends, melissa! i bet your friends are so thankful that you’ve been a mom for a while so that you can help them through the transition!
Amberly
May 8, 2015 at 10:23 am
I’ve never thought about giving mother’s day cards to my mom friends!! Great idea!
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chelsea
May 8, 2015 at 1:04 pm
i figured it’s what i would want since you get to add a new holiday to your list! happy first mother’s day to YOU amberly 🙂
Candace
May 8, 2015 at 12:15 pm
In the past two years both of my sister and two of my closest friends have all become moms. And it is so wonderful/crazy to see them all take on their new identity and role of being a mom. I have been so happy for these women, because they are so in love with their kiddos and so excited to start this new chapter in their lives. It’s truly incredible.
chelsea
May 9, 2015 at 5:46 pm
wow, what changes for you too candace! it is really amazing just to see the fresh love of a mom to her newborn baby! incredible is really the right word.
chelsea recently posted…When Your Friends Become Moms
Courtney {Alkeks Abroad}
May 8, 2015 at 4:21 pm
I’m in the same spot too AND I just found out that two of my best friends are pregnant. Being that I live on the other side of the world, I’m sad that I am going to miss out on this important phase of their lives. I had every intention of sending cards buttttt I guess that’s not happening because I just remembered.
Courtney {Alkeks Abroad} recently posted…10 Reasons to Love Australia {according to my sister}
chelsea
May 9, 2015 at 5:49 pm
oh wow!! congrats to your two besties and glad i’m not alone in this stage of life 🙂 it is hard to be away, especially since it looks like you’re in australia wow! i bet they would still love a card all the way from you, even if it’s late 🙂 excited to check out your blog as we are headed to perth later this month!
Paula Howley
May 8, 2015 at 11:19 pm
1. Kind of. But only once. Ten years ago my closest friend had her second baby and she was in N.Y. and I was in B.C. . We spent about 3 hours on the phone and decided on her baby’s name together- Daniel. It was pretty cool.
2. Biggest change in life outlook? Well, I can’t do whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want which is pretty different, that’s for sure. But I’ve never had another human being know me so well and still love me. It’s pretty incredible.
3. I am going to get myself a massage because I bloody well need it. I’m not waiting around for gifts and cards. lol
Paula Howley recently posted…Head Start Public Speaking For Kids- Speeches Outside the Box
chelsea
May 9, 2015 at 5:51 pm
aww wow! love that you were able to come up with the new baby’s name together, paula! how cool indeed!
your answer to #2 made me grin big time. that’s part of what freaks me out about having kids about not being able to do as a dang well please, but your follow up seems pretty great too.
get that massage and enjoy the hell out of it! happy mother’s day!
Rachel G
May 11, 2015 at 4:14 am
It’s so crazy when people your own age or people you’ve known forever become parents…that’s a whole new world. Several of the guys I was buddies with in high school are now dads…which blows my mind because I have so many non-dad-ish memories of them…and my best friend when I was 13 had two beautiful babies who my family takes care of during the day while she’s at work…and I have a nephew too, from Angel’s little brother and his wife (Angel’s brother called us the day they found out, and his announcement was, “So…I know we all agreed that you guys would have the first grandbaby…but you’re too late!”–babies, babies, everywhere, and I love it! Now I’m just wondering where mine is.
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Diana
May 11, 2015 at 11:39 am
I can totally relate to how weird it is to see friends you have known forever reproducing. My closest friend locally had a little girl last year and our relationship has definitely changed a lot. It has actually been quite difficult transition, but we care about each other and are trying to figure out how to make it work.
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Charlene
May 12, 2015 at 6:59 am
Girl I think my biological clock may be broken too. My husband is in grad school and it’s always been our plan to wait till he’s done. So maybe I’m not itching for a baby because that stipulation is there but I really think I wouldn’t be ready anyway. Even if he wasn’t in school. But I feel like all my friends are becoming mothers and that’s perfectly alright with me. A good friend of mine who lives close is due on May 19th and I cannot wait for the baby to get here! I’m perfectly ok with playing Auntie and all time baby sitter. 🙂
chelsea
May 12, 2015 at 11:13 am
haha well at least we know we aren’t alone! yeah i think situations could do with it some and like you, there are some stipulations we want to be at before we consider having kids. i really love playing auntie too so high five to that!