Married Life Chats Volume II

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whew, how is it already monday!? weren’t we just excited for the weekend like 6 hours ago? it’s my new favorite to capture some of the ridiculous things said in the avery household recently (volume I here).

i’m also publishing this while my husband is flying 30,000 feet in the air…so ravery if you have any qualms about what is revealed below…text me when you land.


looking up an address and seeing my dad listed in his phone
me: why is my dad in your phone as “mr. turner” and not his first name?
him: because i’m southern and it’s about RESPECT!
me: oh. the south is weird.

him: i have to tell you something.
me: what?
him: part of the reason i wanted to tell you your mom was coming for your birthday instead of her just walking through the door is so you could help me clean.
me: hahahaha. you get to clean the toilet for that mister.

after i had to tell him the news of dropping my phone in the toilet
him: it’s okay, it’s just money and we can make more.
me: wow. you’re being really cool about this.
him: well it’s how i’d want you to react. i mean, we could have bought a plane ticket to london but…

Married Life Chats

upon awakening from my slumber
him: you look like medusa!
me: shut it.
him: never mind. you just look crazy.

him: can you hand me the bag of chips?
me: no because i’m in the process of eating them all.

as we are hugging in the kitchen
him: you kinda smell.
me: no i don’t, i just took a shower. smell (makes him smell my armpit)
him: oh. maybe it’s me. (sniffs his armpit). yup. i guess i do sweat when i workout…
*meanwhile i start sweating at the mention of working out.

him: so “parenthood” was good last night?
me: yeah. it’s always good.
him: i heard you crying so i figured it was good one.
me: i wasn’t crying. i just have a cold every time i watch it.
him: *mocks me blubbering and mumbles something about tv dramas.

after eating a donut (obviously before we started the ‘whole30’)
me: ow. my teeth kinda hurt.
him: it’s because you don’t brush your teeth every day.
me: what?! yes i do!
him: i know. i’m just mad because you’re teeth are whiter than mine.

please share a funny conversation you’ve had recently so i feel less weird…


  1. Courtney! @ Redefining Athlete

    February 9, 2015 at 8:17 am

    I saw a post on Instagram the other day:
    “If you are lucky enough to find a weirdo, never let them go”

    I think it is fitting here 🙂
    And I promise that is a compliment. I laugh so hard at these because we have so many similar conversations.
    Courtney! @ Redefining Athlete recently posted…Star Wars Half Marathon Recap! (Rebel Challenge Part 2)

    • chelsea

      February 9, 2015 at 9:23 am

      haha that is SO true-i like that quote because there is weirdness all over the place. glad you’re having similar conversations too, courtney!

  2. Audrey

    February 9, 2015 at 8:27 am

    These are awesome. I just started watching Parenthood this season and I cry every time- even though I barely know the characters!

    Last week K got home from a business trip and we went to dinner…
    Me: (Jokingly, kind of) So, you wanna make out and cuddle and stuff when we get home?
    K: If by “make out” you mean watch The Mindy Project and lay on the couch, then yes.
    Me: I married my sorority sister…
    Audrey recently posted…Crying in Public

    • chelsea

      February 9, 2015 at 9:24 am

      that’s completely normal, audrey-don’t you worry. also don’t be surprised when more tears start flowing and you feel exhausted after watching it because it’s SO emotional.

      i totally laughed out loud at your response of “i married my sorority sister” HAHAHA. amazing.

  3. Claire

    February 9, 2015 at 8:30 am

    “Parenthood” tears are the best! They aren’t necessarily happy or sad, just straight up feelings.

    • chelsea

      February 9, 2015 at 9:25 am

      ohhh they really are, claire! those ‘feels’ leave you feeling exhausted but energized and in the need of a hug. almost to the season finale-eeeeek!

  4. Melissa

    February 9, 2015 at 10:47 am

    LOVE these! I’ll have to remember to take note of our funny conversations. My favorite of y’alls is “me: no because i’m in the process of eating them all.” that’s SO me. hahaha
    Melissa recently posted…A Simple Ray of Sunshine

    • chelsea

      February 9, 2015 at 6:03 pm

      you totally should! it’s funny to read back through and reminisce about what was said. glad we are both chip hogs!!!
      chelsea recently posted…Married Life Chats Volume II

  5. Rebecca

    February 9, 2015 at 10:48 am

    You guys are too cute!
    Rebecca recently posted…Stories Of Survival – The Last Three Books I Read

  6. Elizabeth T

    February 9, 2015 at 11:47 am

    Haha I LOVE these! I’m laughing so hard right now!
    Elizabeth T recently posted…7 At-Home Valentines Date Ideas

    • chelsea

      February 9, 2015 at 6:04 pm

      …and these are only the “public sphere” appropriate ones! ha! thanks for reading, elizabeth! can’t wait to check out your valentine date ideas!
      chelsea recently posted…Married Life Chats Volume II

  7. Jennifer Haston

    February 9, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    You two are hilarious
    at home
    Me: Can you get my purse (on the couch) next to him
    him: Yeah cause I am not firmly ensconced in my comfy chair
    Me: Fair point can you get me my purse?
    Him: sighs heavily and hands it to me

    at the store looking at fuzzy socks- I love them to a fairly obsessive level
    Me: Hey these fuzzy socks with stars, did you get me those?
    Him: No. maybe,
    Me: Yeah I am going to get them
    Him: How many pairs do you need ? Its not like you can wear them all at once.
    Me: yeah but they’re awesome

    Grocery Store – I HATE grocery shopping.. I am lazy and he does it so much better than he does.
    Me: That’s the wine we liked
    Him: No, that is the second wine we liked but not as much
    Me: No, I am sure. I brought a bottle of it to that movie night I went to without you last week
    Him: Okay, but the first bottle is better so let’s get that one.
    Me: sounds good

    Hope that helps you not feel so weird–

    • chelsea

      February 10, 2015 at 9:25 am

      haha these are fantastic, jennifer!! thank you for sharing to help me feel slightly less weird 🙂 we play the “can you get me…” game a lot even though we are both in the same position HA! hope you got those awesome fuzzy socks too!
      chelsea recently posted…7 Slightly Inappropriate Valentine’s Day Cards

  8. Amanda Wood

    February 11, 2015 at 7:53 am

    Legit you need to start linking up with me for my Conversation link-up on the 15th and 30th (28th for Feb) of each month to share these! They are so funny!!!
    Amanda Wood recently posted…Sponsor Takeover with Kathy!

    • chelsea

      February 11, 2015 at 2:18 pm

      crap! how do i keep forgetting this link-up?! putting in my calendar NOW! it’s there.

  9. Amanda

    February 11, 2015 at 11:06 am

    These are great! You’re definitely not alone – I’ve compiled a few of our strange chats and will post eventually.
    Amanda recently posted…A Romantic Weekend in Grand Forks

    • chelsea

      February 11, 2015 at 2:33 pm

      you are probably on the ball and saving it for linking up with the other amanda @ knock on wood 🙂 glad you’re compiling your strange ones too-can’t wait to read!

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