Writing A Letter to Our Unborn Child
for those of you participating in #31DaysofKindness with us, let’s all finish the challenge out strong! this past weekend, one of the kindness tasks was to write a love letter. my first inclination was to write one to my husband, especially since our 6th wedding anniversary is coming up saturday, 9/3.
instead, we both decided to write a love letter to our unborn child.
i was unprepared for how powerful and moving of an experience this was for me.
my husband sat across from me at our dining room table and the words flowed freely from him to our daughter. he appeared to know exactly what to say to her, despite not yet meeting her.
i stared at my blank piece of paper, not knowing where to start. i have no idea who she is going to be, what she is going to like or if she shares my love for harry potter and puns (i suppose that’s where the ‘nurture’ aspect comes in).
i asked if i could read his letter before he sealed it. as my eyes poured over each word, my heart poured with joy and love for this man. our little one is so lucky to get to call him “dad.”
i started my letter with welcoming her to our family and telling her how glad we are she is joining us. i promise in the letter it sounds less like a receptionist welcoming a guest to the lobby. i shared how lucky she is to have a father who dreams big and does big as well as my promise to help her become a strong, independent and resourceful woman (like her mimi raised me). my hopes and dreams for her started flowing out. i found myself with tears in my eyes, hoping with all my heart she would, at the most basic level, be healthy and happy.
as i went to sign my letter, i froze.
love,
mom
mom?! who the hell is mom? me!? what. as mentioned previously, i am not one of those women who immediately felt like ‘mom’ once i peed on the stick that told me my womb would soon fill. throughout this pregnancy, i have felt like an in-between something.
i was truly unprepared for all of the emotions that swirled in my heart and soul while signing “mom.” i am about to be someone’s mom. one day, this little girl is going to have me in her phone as “mom’s cell” just as i have for my own mom. that is the true definition of ‘mind-blowing’ for me.
my husband and i are still deciding at what age we will give her our letters. i do know how grateful we are to have our thoughts recorded down for her at this point in our lives.
i highly recommend this activity and i have a feeling you (and me) will be so glad we did it. to help get you started, think about answering these few questions in your letter:
- what excites you the most about being her parent?
- what is your hope for her future?
- what is the world currently like and what will that mean for her?
- what values do you plan on instilling in her?
- what dreams do you have for her?
- what true promises can you make?
what else might your letter include?
Claire
August 29, 2016 at 7:45 am
So beautiful Chelsea. I can’t imagine what that would have felt like, and the transition of realizing that…heck yes you are now Mom!
Your daughter is so blessed to have you both.
chelsea
August 31, 2016 at 4:13 am
i was definitely unprepared for all the emotions that swirled! thanks for your sweet words too claire 🙂
Jennifer Haston
August 29, 2016 at 8:24 am
I totally know what you mean! I was on the phone with my MOM yesterday thinking, I really hope and pray that I have the kind of relationship with my daughter that my mother of my heart and I do. I absolutely had that.> “who me, mom?” moment a few months ago.. and I am still reeling from the ramifications.. I love that Ryan sealed his and you said “not everyone can be as fancy as your father”.. Jeremy and I are going to write a letter to our daughter tonight. I can’t wait to see what we both say.. I, like you, feel lucky and blessed that she gets him as her dad, he is going to be awesome!
chelsea
August 31, 2016 at 4:14 am
i hope you both found your letter writing inspiring and moving too, jennifer!
Lindsay
August 29, 2016 at 8:30 am
Ummmmm SOBBING. Thanks. Thanks a lot. 😉 So excited for your sweet little girl to get here.
chelsea
August 31, 2016 at 4:14 am
haha well welcome to my world of tears always! we are so excited to meet her!
Amanda
August 29, 2016 at 8:39 am
I think I would include parts of the struggle we are going through to have a child. I want them to know how hard we worked and how much we wanted them. I’ve been contemplating writing a letter now to our future child about my feelings surrounding this journey. And then of course do it again when we finally do get pregnant. Thank you for sharing.
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chelsea
August 31, 2016 at 4:17 am
i think that would be very powerful to include, amanda. you all are working hard and your little one should always know how important it’s been to both of you to keep working 🙂
love you idea of writing done letters along the way – i think your future self and child will be grateful!
Elyse@JustMurrayed
August 29, 2016 at 9:07 am
I can just imagine those letters will be something Bavery will always cherish! This is a great idea that I am 100% planning to steal for my babies. So sweet.
C’mon Bavery, get here already!
Elyse@JustMurrayed recently posted…Celebrating 30
chelsea
August 31, 2016 at 4:20 am
steal away – i’ll be curious to see what comes up for you! i am still like “mom whoooo?!” 🙂
Audrey
August 29, 2016 at 9:33 am
I freakin’ love that you guys wrote letters for your daughter. I hope that I remember to sit Kyle down and do this with him some day. What an awesome moment for you daughter!
Maybe she’d appreciate them most when she enters puberty/middle school/her teen years? That’s always such a crazy time for kids!
I love the sealing of the envelopes- hahaha!
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chelsea
August 31, 2016 at 4:19 am
we were thinking teen years too (especially because that is when karma is coming for me!) i hope you remember too (i’ll remind you) because it was such a unique and powerful thing for us to do – even if some are fancier than the other 😉
Courtney {Alkeks Abroad}
August 29, 2016 at 10:59 am
I’m feeling all of the emotions while reading this. I’m three weeks in and I still feel like I’m in the in between phase, I’m not sure when you really start feeling like a mom (or maybe that’s just me?!). You little girl is SO lucky to have y’all as parents.
Courtney {Alkeks Abroad} recently posted…Leighton’s Nursery
chelsea
August 31, 2016 at 4:21 am
thanks for sharing that courtney – i think your comment will help normalize what i expect i’ll feel after she gets here! love seeing your little one – so sweet!
Vivien
August 29, 2016 at 1:13 pm
“Not everyone can be as fancy as your father.”
Best. Seal. Ever!
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chelsea
August 31, 2016 at 4:22 am
thank you vivien 🙂 i saw how he sealed it and decided i couldn’t compete ha!
chelsea jacobs
August 30, 2016 at 8:34 am
1. I still have days where I don’t feel like “mom” you know? I think it’s different for everyone.
2. “Not everyone can be as fancy as your father.” THE BEST.
chelsea jacobs recently posted…Thirty-Two Weeks With Jack: Allllllll of The Pictures.
chelsea
August 31, 2016 at 4:23 am
so appreciate your honesty in feeling that way! i suspect i (and others) may feel that way and thanks okay!