What Marriage Equality Means for My Marriage

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i spent hours last night on a completely different post but when i awoke from my slumber this morning and heard the news that the U.S. supreme court announced that same-sex couples have the constitutional right to legally marry…this fact needed to be celebrated! hooray marriage equality in the united states!

this is our italian flag which reads ‘peace’ that we take a photo of in each country we visit! this was in cabo, mexico last month!IMG_1899

i am aware that not everyone is pleased by this decision but i am so thankful to see the outpouring of love and support from 99% of social media interactions to be positive and up-lifting!

marriage has been an unearned privileged given to people based solely on their reproductive organs not matching and that changes today. i am a firm believer that love is love is love and why shouldn’t everyone who finds love be able to take advantage of this privilege?

i believe that it does not take away from my own marriage but rather adds to it. i want to be a part of an institution that recognizes and respects all who want to show this type of commitment. by allowing others to marry who feel a deep love, connection and want to spend forever together, i feel as though it makes my own marriage feel deeper and stronger.

the fact that my family members, my closest friends and strangers that i see holding hands on the street can find recognition and privileges associated within the constitution of marriage makes my heart so happy and my eyes fill with tears of happiness.

it doesn’t solve all the issues still faced by the LGBTQ community but it’s absolutely a move in the right direction.

marriage is about two individuals who make a commitment to respect, love and cherish one another and today my heart feels full that so many women and men get to be legally recognized as wives and husbands!

for the people who are concerned that it’s going to negatively affect their marriage in someway, the good news is that marriage is between two people so in reality it has nothing to do with you or even me. my marriage is mine, your marriage is yours and their marriage is theirs.

after all, the new wifestyle is about choices and not outdated expectations so the fact that so many more people can make the choice to get married (or not) is a monumental moment.

love is love.


  1. Elyse

    June 26, 2015 at 8:59 am

    Elyse recently posted…Best Friends

    • chelsea

      June 26, 2015 at 12:42 pm

      agreed, elyse! 🙂 YAY!

  2. Audrey

    June 26, 2015 at 9:03 am

    AMEN! It’s about damn time 🙂 I’m so overjoyed for all my friends!
    Audrey recently posted…Happiness Stamped | 12 Months of Bliss

    • chelsea

      June 26, 2015 at 12:42 pm

      haha so right you are audrey, it is about damn time!!!!

  3. Shelby

    June 26, 2015 at 9:34 am

    I started crying scrolling through my social media and article after article today. What an amazing day! I cannot imagine how much joy and happiness those who can finally marry their life partners have today! To finally be able to say “this is my wife” or “this is my husband!”
    Shelby recently posted…June 26, 2015

    • chelsea

      June 26, 2015 at 12:43 pm

      i have shed many tears too, shelby! it’s really incredible to see so many people celebrating and excited! totally agree that it’s incredible that so many people can say ‘this is my wife and this is my husband!”

  4. Paula Howley

    June 26, 2015 at 10:35 am

    This very issue has literally been a bone of contention, a cause for arguments, heated, heart-racing arguments in my home.
    12.5 years ago I became a Christian and walked RIGHT into the gay marriage conundrum. Before my conversion, I was a very liberal person. Perhaps even too liberal but that’s beside the point.
    The church I joined was an Anglican church and I just joined them because they were nearest to me and my friend went there. They were also the first ‘normal’ people that I was dealing with after 16 years in the stripping world.
    The church I joined was breaking away from the Anglican communion because they wanted to bless same sex marriages and the congregation I joined was not in favour of it.
    A battle ensued and the Anglican communion confiscated the church building from the congregation and we had to find and purchase a new building.

    Now during this time, I was finding my feet and myself and I didn’t think TOO much about this issue because I still needed to heal and insulate myself. But the fact is, I was involved with it from the get go.

    I was uncomfortable with the lack of love I saw in the Christian community for LGBT people. Or even just the lack of gay people IN the community itself. It’s funny- I first wrestled with the scriptures about divorce which Jesus specifically addresses (because I had been divorced already). I mean I REALLY wrestled with them. I almost left Lloyd over it.
    However, Jesus never said anything about homosexuality. Nothing at all. Paul was the one who chimed in on it and I wasn’t worshipping Paul.
    Anyway, oh gosh, this is going to be long winded Chelsea- this is all going in my book btw because it is a 12 year long journey.
    After I joined the Catholic church 7 years after that, the stance towards gay people was more loving- the Catechism insists that they be treated with love and respect- it’s right there in writing. However, it still says that it is a disorder and that gay people should remain celibate or marry the opposite sex.

    Over they years, the past 3-4 in particular, I have just felt more and more uncomfortable with all of this. I’ve read the encyclicals and I get what the argument is- that sex when it is separated from pro-creation, is devalued, thus life is de-valued and that as a life-giving act, sex needs to be held sacred.
    But I can’t stand on this earth in good conscience and tell a fellow human being “There is something wrong with you because of who you are attracted to. And you should not have the right to pursue love with that person.” I cannot do it and I will not do it. It goes against everything that I am.

    Chelsea, you have no idea how agonizing this entire issue has been for my family. There have literally been shouting matches and tears over it. My husband, (who btw LIVED with a gay man for several years and loves gay people) believes in the teachings of the church and will not waver. We are in a very difficult position because of it and it goes as deeply as ‘what will we teach Meaghan’. We have to figure out some kind of solution because neither of us is budging.
    There is a Canadian writer and commentator named Michael Coren who as recently as 4 years ago wrote this book called “Why Catholics Are Right”. It’s funny, because his journey has mirrored mine the past few years. Recently he left the Catholic Church because he feels he can’t live as a hypocrite. I am contemplating the same thing. It is not a small thing- disunity in a family is destructive. But so is not having freedom of conscience.
    I am glad for gay Americans today. I dread the conversation I will have with my husband when he gets home from work.
    Paula Howley recently posted…Year End Speeches From Awesome Kids!

    • chelsea

      June 26, 2015 at 12:59 pm

      wow paula, i so appreciate you sharing all of this so openly because it sounds incredibly hard and complex. i have heard this religious complexity from other friends and they too feel torn. that’s one of the reasons i moved away from attending church when i was younger because it just didn’t make sense. i do know that certain churches and religions are becoming more welcoming and accepting and that’s great, but it’s not across the board.

      that adds a whole new layer when your spouse, who said lived with a gay men and loves the people, won’t waiver in this. that is something i can only empathize with but it sounds incredibly intense. i’m sorry to hear you are dreading talking about this later with your husband, that is never a fun feeling especially when it sounds like it’s something he won’t change his mind on.

      i will be thinking of you xo and hoping you kind find the right kind of peace you are looking for in terms of your religious affiliation too. thanks paula for always bearing your heart and soul xo

    • Holly

      June 26, 2015 at 1:28 pm

      Here’s a quote that may help with that “husband conversation” Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

      • chelsea

        June 30, 2015 at 7:05 am

        thanks for sharing this holly 🙂

  5. Diana

    June 30, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    This is such a lovely post. When I think about my beliefs and what I want LAWS to reflect, I always think about if allowing someone else have some type of right infringes on my rights. When the answer is no, then I support the movement. I mean, why would you want to keep someone from being with the person they love. It just makes me shake my head when I still hear people talk about it.

    • chelsea

      June 30, 2015 at 8:34 pm

      that’s a good point to bring up diana about it infringing on your right. i like that. i was talking to my father in law about this too and he made a good point about it being positive and all about love, not hate or negativity. i liked that!

  6. Amanda

    June 30, 2015 at 9:34 pm

    Amen girlfriend.

    • chelsea

      July 3, 2015 at 7:50 am

      *high fives!

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