3 Ways My Husband Changed My Life

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today my husband celebrates his 29th birthday! after lots of travel drama yesterday, we woke up to the ocean in honolulu and that made it all better. we were guests of outrigger waikiki beach hotel and oh my goodness – love it! it screams classy hawaiian and give me a hotel directly on the beach and i’m a happy lady! not a bad way to start another lap around the sun!

i know it looks like i just woke up in this photo but really i was up at 3:30am and this was taken 3 hours later…that’s just my face now.

ryan and chelsea avery

29 years ago he was born and came into this world weighing a whopping 12 pounds (see why i waited so long to get pregnant with his child?! that’s insanity). let’s take a moment to applaud his mother – good work kathy!

last year i did a post about 8 unwavering things about him, which all still hold true and i totally teared up reading over them again. you make yourself cry by the words your write sometimes, right?!

this will be the 9th birthday that i spend with him and oh how much our lives and our selves have changed since that first one. upon reflecting on our years together, i started doing some comparing with who i was and how i thought back then compared to now. he plays such a vital role in this and i am so grateful that not only does he exist in my life but he exists in the most intimate and loving role in my life.

here are 3 ways my husband has changed my life:

1) he taught me to dream BIG

i was fortunate to grow up in a very loving and supportive home (okay, technically two homes since my parents are divorced) and both of them always told me i could do anything and be anyone. i don’t take that lightly because they truly did allow me to become my own person and forge my own path while supporting me financially and emotionally to do so. although they told me i could do anything, i don’t think i fully grasped what that meant or how to do it.

this is where my husband comes in. his brain is unlike any other person’s i have ever met. it is very easy for him to visualize not solely something interesting and unique but things that don’t even exist and that no one has ever thought about. my brain is naturally wired (and of course i’ve been socialized) to follow the typical pattern of education, 9-5 job and then play on the weekends.

he showed me that while of course it’s an option, it’s merely one option and there could be is more that i am simply not seeing. he has helped me unlearn much of what i was socialized to believe about passion, income, and truly creating a life that you don’t want a vacation from. he showed me this and continues to keep me accountable by not letting fear hold me back on my big dreams. heck, we even created a program around how to dream big and then accomplish something others may see as outrageous! life really does want to expand to our biggest dreams.

2) he supports my goals

when my husband is delivering a keynote or training, he does an excellent job of acknowledging me and giving me lots of credit in the business we run and the goals we accomplish together. i have received multiple emails from people whom i’ve never met but saw him speak and they send a note thanking me for the support i give him and admiration of us working together. how crazy cool is that? i fully accept those compliments and am very grateful that he does acknowledge the support i give him but i also want to make it clear how much he supports me and my goals.

he is the man that encourages me to grow the new wifestyle beyond my wildest dreams and constantly has brainstorming sessions with me about how to do that (#dreambig). he seeks out publishers and connects me with them so i can pitch them my book proposal. he moved to portland and helped pay for me to get my master’s in social work there. he agreed to move back to colorado so i could be closer to my family. he brainstorms, markets and brags on another project i run vocal women (where he will be our second ever male guest on may 7th!) he never pressured me to have a baby before i was ready because it wasn’t part of my immediate goals until recently. he thanks me for carrying our child.

our marriage and our partnership work so well because we continuously and fully support one another.

3) he fully knows, loves and accepts me

as someone who knows what it’s like to be in an unhealthy relationship and keep my guard up, this one is incredibly important. it took a while for me to take down my walls with him and fully be myself (the good, the bad, the weird, the anxious, the funny, the intense). yes, our parents love us and our best friends love us but at least in my world – my husband is the sole person on this planet who knows the inner most me. not only does he know this inner me, he loves this person and fully accepts me.

i cannot fully express how incredible it is to fully and wholly be yourself around someone. i have never experienced that before meeting him. this has changed my life because it has allowed me live more authentically and without apology for who i am. it has allowed me to become more comfortable with being me (the good, the bad, the weird, the anxious, the funny, the intense me).

without a doubt, ryan austin turner avery being born 29 years ago has completely rocked my universe in the best way possible.

happy birthday boo, i love you more than you know and can’t wait to celebrate another 93 birthdays with you!


  1. Nina @ Hugs and Lattes

    May 2, 2016 at 11:26 am

    Eeee I love this! I love how encouraging you are to each other. I love reading your blog because it’s encouraging to read about happy married couples who support each other and push each other to be a better version of themselves. Being fully loved and known is the scariest and best thing about a healthy relationship. This post made me all smiles and I don’t even know you two IRL. Happy Hawaii/Baby Mooning!
    Nina @ Hugs and Lattes recently posted…Monday Motivation: Speaking Peace

    • chelsea

      May 9, 2016 at 2:49 pm

      thank you nina 🙂 i try very very hard to never take for granted the mutual love and support we show each other. you are so right that being fully loved and *known* is so scary and so rewarding! hawaii and baby mooning was absolutely grand – thank you!

  2. Elyse

    May 2, 2016 at 11:57 am

    LOVED this! Totally made me tear up! Happy Birthday to him and Happy Babymooning!

    • chelsea

      May 9, 2016 at 2:50 pm

      thank you elyse – i totally balled the whole time writing it because it helped me remember just how thankful i am he entered my life!

  3. Claire

    May 2, 2016 at 12:06 pm

    So much love!
    And so special when you have that special someone show you another route to life that is exciting, engaging, and full of new experiences.
    Really incredible you both appreciate each other so much. <3

    • chelsea

      May 9, 2016 at 2:51 pm

      you are so right claire – it has been an amazing adventure with him so far and i know it will continue on! i am so grateful in how he’s changed my life!
      chelsea recently posted…The “In-Between” Mother’s Day

  4. Audrey

    May 2, 2016 at 12:07 pm

    Awwweeee!!! This is too cute. Can you say #relationshipgoals??! (And #vacationgoals, damn it!)
    Happy Birthday, Mr. WS! Thank you for encouraging your wife to fully embrace the creative, smart, capable woman she is!!
    Audrey recently posted…The India Archive [4]

    • chelsea

      May 9, 2016 at 2:55 pm

      seriously – start looking into booking your trip to hawaii audrey because you and kyle will looove it!

      also, you sweet comment in thanking him has now made me tear up multiple times reading it – thank you <3
      chelsea recently posted…The “In-Between” Mother’s Day

  5. Amberly

    May 2, 2016 at 12:51 pm

    Umm… 12 pounds?? That is twice the size of what Bensen was!!!! Holy cow!!! I’m glad that you guys are having such a great time and I loved this post 🙂
    Amberly recently posted…A Look at What’s Next for Our Family

    • chelsea

      May 9, 2016 at 2:56 pm

      i knooooow! isn’t that totally nuts about him weighing 12lbs?! his mom even tried to deliver him vaginally for like 8 hours before a c-section became a necessity!
      chelsea recently posted…The “In-Between” Mother’s Day

  6. Sara

    May 2, 2016 at 1:10 pm

    It’s my husband’s birthday today too! I feel exactly the same way, that my husband is the only one that knows all of me and accepts me for exactly who I am. I am so grateful that he encourages me everyday and supports me in my dreams.
    Sara recently posted…Currently…April 2016

    • chelsea

      May 9, 2016 at 2:56 pm

      awww yay! i hope your husband had a very happy birthday sara 🙂 we are lucky to have met the partners we have aren’t we 🙂
      chelsea recently posted…The “In-Between” Mother’s Day

  7. Vivien

    May 2, 2016 at 6:56 pm

    What a sweet post! Happy Birthday to Ryan, and have a great rest of your trip! 🙂

    • chelsea

      May 9, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      thanks vivien and the trip was spectacular! sunshine and beach – hard to beat!

  8. Marilyn Jess

    May 3, 2016 at 4:55 am

    Looking in the same direction, together. That’s the marriage goal I like so much, and it’s reflected well in your three reasons. Wishing Ryan a glorious birthday celebration, and year ahead. XO

    • chelsea

      May 9, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      thanks marilyn and i agree – we are lucky to both (usually) face in the same direction! i will pass your birthday wishes along!
      chelsea recently posted…The “In-Between” Mother’s Day