How A Baby Changes Your Marriage – Part I

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those with kids will agree that a baby changes your marriage. it’s inevitable. you can read all the books, make all the lists, plan everything and yet you have no idea how it will change you or your marriage until you are in it. oh, and it’s not like it will change it once but as kids grow and change, so will your marriage.

so how has it changed for us?

  • money

the vast majority of money is spent on diapers and baby crap. those dman baby-stuff-marketers know how to get you. instead of money being spent on happy hour and your own clothes, it’s spent on diaper rash cream and clothes they can wear for 2 weeks.

  • communication

when the baby is a newborn, you are lucky to even get out one coherent sentence. after those first months of hell hard times pass, you find that your topics of conversation have changed. instead of whispering sweet nothings to each other, you are whisper so there is absolutely no chance of waking the tiny human. now these type of sentences occur between you two:

“…but like what exactly did her poop look like?”

“let’s rock/paper/scissors for who gets to suck the snot out of her nose this time.”

“don’t play so rough with her, you don’t want her spitting up in your mouth.”

baby changes a marriage

  • sex

this directly relates to the sex of the baby.

  • cleaning

it’s not like we ever let our home get to ‘hoarders’ status when it came to cleaning but having a baby changes this. not only is your house more cluttered, you have less energy to do anything about it but then suddenly a baby can move around and shove every little thing in that tiny little mouth.

  • drinking

yes, i’ll have another. make it a double.

  • eating

the leisurely meals are few and far between. when they are a newborn, just get used to eating all food cold – whether it’s supposed to be hot or not. when they are older, prepare for the baby to smash a tiny fist into whatever it is you are both eating.

fine, part II will be less tongue-in-cheek but hope this one gave you some chuckles. it’s amazing how quickly things change!


  1. Courtney {Alkek's Abroad}

    May 3, 2017 at 6:18 am

    that is all. Spot on.
    Courtney {Alkek’s Abroad} recently posted…Weekend Adventures 

    • Courtney {Alkek's Abroad}

      May 3, 2017 at 6:19 am

      PS I put the crying laughing emoji but it didn’t show up.
      Courtney {Alkek’s Abroad} recently posted…Weekend Adventures 

      • chelsea

        May 10, 2017 at 9:51 am

        um wordpress needs to get on it that we need the crying/laughing emoji STAT

    • chelsea

      May 10, 2017 at 9:52 am

      haha isn’t it though!?

  2. Audrey

    May 3, 2017 at 6:29 am

    Ooof, so many things change but you and Mr. WS are rocking this parenting thing. (Hellooooo, Atlas’ first trip to Hawaii?? How many babies get that experience?!) I know the first few months were super rough for you but I feel like you’ve definitely got a handle on your new role now! Way to go guys! I can’t wait for Part II!
    Audrey recently posted…Movie Yays and Nays

    • chelsea

      May 10, 2017 at 9:51 am

      thank you audrey – i feel like i’ve got a MUCH better handle on my new role too but yes, those first few months were absolute shit for me (but aren’t that way for everyone, so fear not) 🙂

  3. Christina @ Hugs and Lattes

    May 3, 2017 at 7:28 am

    A lot of our friends have put their marriage on hold while they’re raising kids, and that makes me so sad. I can understand how it’s easy to tunnel vision on raising another human, but I think for the emotional health of a baby, parents need to still have a marriage! I love that you & Mr. Wifestyle are still making your marriage a priority!
    Christina @ Hugs and Lattes recently posted…Life is like Salt Water Taffy

    • chelsea

      May 10, 2017 at 9:50 am

      i have seen that a lot too, christina and it makes me super sad as well. for a lot of people – the whole reason you bring a kid into the world is because you (the parents) love each other so much and want to add to the fun (at least for us)! i certainly don’t want to be sitting across from him in 18 years once this kid goes to college or travels or runs the world and think “who is this man i’m married to?!”

  4. Penny

    May 3, 2017 at 10:04 am

    this was such fun reading and really brought a smile to my face. yes i am sure this is all true and even more so as time goes on. please post this to fb so i can share it. thanks.

    • chelsea

      May 10, 2017 at 9:48 am

      thanks for reading and sharing, penny 🙂 i believe i posted it to ‘the new wifestyle’s’ page but think i forgot to cross post on my personal FB (hawaii will make you forget things)!

  5. Jennifer Haston

    May 3, 2017 at 10:30 am

    Nice! I would add that we have made it a point to keep “date night” and have one once a month. I also go home for lunch most days .. and I am careful to kiss my husband first, and then the little one. Subtle, and effective.
    Jennifer Haston recently posted…The magic of the internet…brings you “live theatre”

    • chelsea

      May 10, 2017 at 9:47 am

      yes that is such a great one about kissing your husband first and the baby next! we do that too and it really does make a big difference! also love that you can go home for lunch most days – that’s so great jennifer 🙂

  6. Amberly

    May 3, 2017 at 10:43 am

    The weird conversations you have when you have a baby….

    • chelsea

      May 10, 2017 at 9:47 am

      i mean – they get SO weird and i’m sure they will only continue to get weirder…

  7. Elyse @ Just Murrayed

    May 3, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    You’re definitely rocking this whole new parenting thing! I’m stoked that you and ravery are keeping your marriage a priority!
    Elyse @ Just Murrayed recently posted…May 2017/April Recap

    • chelsea

      May 10, 2017 at 9:46 am

      not sure about rockin’ it always but we are doing it! i am glad we are keeping our marriage a priority too!

  8. chelsea jacobs

    May 4, 2017 at 8:04 am

    This made me laugh buuuut also it’s true!
    chelsea jacobs recently posted…Things I Believe in This Week.

    • chelsea

      May 10, 2017 at 9:46 am

      glad i’m not alone in it!

  9. Lisa

    May 5, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    This is all sooooo true. I feel like all I do is clean and somehow my house is ALWAYS messy!
    Lisa recently posted…To Isabelle on her birthday

    • chelsea

      May 10, 2017 at 9:46 am

      haha that is SUCH a good one! how could i forget the mess?!

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