10 Unexpected Things after 10 Years Together

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timeline:

april 7, 2007: we both attend our friend cassie’s birthday party (yes the same cassie to photograph our wedding and the birth of atlas). proceed to laugh for hours on end. he’s the cutie with the rock-n-roll booty with the janitor keys.

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april 8, 2007: hunts me down at city park with a friend, asks for my number. i give him my real number.

april 9-may 1, 2007: hang out obsessively. insist to everyone we are definitelyย not dating.

may 2, 2007: celebrate ravery’s 20th birthday with friends at chili’s. he gives me a first bite of his birthday milkshake (#BIGdeal)

may 8, 2007: asks me out for our first “official” date (also at chili’s)

july 6, 2008: we get engaged!

september 3, 2010: we promise to spend forever together!

cassie rosch photography

<fast forward>


may 2017: married, kid, dog, house, travel, still very much in love

sometimes it feels like we have been together our whole lives and other times like maybe 3 years. i am so grateful to have spent the last decade with this man by my side. you know when you first start dating someone and think “ah, things are never going to change, this is perfect!” well, things do indeed change.

we were chatting about how crazy it is that it’s been 10 years and what has changed. here’s what we have decided have been the most unexpected things about our relationship from the day we met to today…

1) we are both so different

compared to who we were back then to who we are now – crazy changes. we have both changed our mindsets quite a bit (me definitely more) and it’s interesting to see how we’ve changed.

2) we are more in love

when we first fell in love, i found it hard to believe i could love ravery more. turns out, our love continues to grow deeper.

3) still having fun

no one can make us laugh like we make each other laugh. we are constantly adding inside jokes to our vault. whether we are sitting on our deck or venturing to antarctica, we are still having fun together!

4) harder than we thought

we sort of assumed we would be ‘immune’ to the hardships that often occur when two individuals spend their lives together. there have been moments throughout our relationship that have been hard, where we haven’t been on the same page, where one of us slept on the couch. we both agree that at times, marriage is harder than we initially thought it would be (but we also both agree it’s worth it). thank goodness we have learned to communicate better!

5) still learning about each other

we are both amazed that we can be chatting over breakfast and still learn new things about each other! that’s one of the fun things about spending the first 20 years of our lives in different states, in different cultures (yes, the southern culture is a thing). it’s fun to continue to hear random stories that pop into our heads and share them with the other.

6) having a dog before a kid

this is mostly my husband’s thing because he never wanted a dog before we had a kid. well, we have had sweet sugar for two years before we had our daughter!

7) starting a business together

this is definitely unexpected! i was always of the opinion that we “could neeeever work together” because we are very different when it comes to how we work. turns out, you canย learn to work together and that is what we have done in creating our businesses together!

ryan and chelsea avery

8) we are back in colorado

i hadn’t lived near family for over 7 years and ravery hadn’t for 10+ years! it’s amazing that we have landed back in colorado and we get all of our parents around us.

9) how involved our family is with our daughter

of course this directly correlates to being in colorado but it’s unexpected how much we enjoy being around our parents and how involved they are with atlas!

10) still the same – values

though there are many unexpected things after 10 years together, at our core, we agree we are the same in many ways. our values haven’t changed, we still laugh way more than we don’t and life is always a grand adventure together.

what has been unexpected in your relationship overtime?

15 Comments

  1. Christina @ Hugs and Lattes

    May 24, 2017 at 9:18 am

    I love this post! It brought so much joy to my heart and a smile to my face! I love that you have been able to grow deeper in your love by choosing each other every day. And you guys have accomplished so much together!

    Since Pai & I have only been together 3 years, there hasn’t been *too* much change. We have found that we are better communicators, more aware of each other’s love language, and love to laugh a lot together. I look forward to learning more about him as we grow together, though. There are definitely a lot of differences between us since we grew up in 2 different countries! I’ve learned to love myself and respect myself more since we started dating, so it has been quite a positive change in my life because of our relationship.
    Christina @ Hugs and Lattes recently posted…Celebrate Your Worth

    • Christina @ Hugs and Lattes

      May 24, 2017 at 9:19 am

      Oops, I didn’t mean to double post! It showed the first comment didn’t go through. Oh well!
      Christina @ Hugs and Lattes recently posted…Celebrate Your Worth

    • chelsea

      May 26, 2017 at 12:29 pm

      that is such a great one addition christina! i too have grown to love and respect myself WAY more since we first started dating! thanks for bringing that to my attention ๐Ÿ™‚

      would totally love to see a post about cultural differences with you and pai and how you both meld them together!

      ps. i wouldn’t say ‘only’ 3 years because it is still VERY significant ๐Ÿ™‚ your wedding looked SO SO fun

  2. Paige

    May 24, 2017 at 9:49 am

    I love this.
    After two years, my husband and I have hit a rough patch. I think he thought it was going to be all smooth sailing. I fully anticipated hardships. He’s the eternal optimist, I’m a kill-joy realist. We’re both struggling, though. I can only hope this is a growth spurt. Sigh…

    • chelsea

      May 26, 2017 at 12:31 pm

      i am sorry you are in the midst of a rough patch, paige. that is hard but also very very normal. we sound similar in who we are married to and how we are ๐Ÿ˜‰ it’s a tricky combination but there is a balance to be found and compromise. hang in there, seek help (we have done couples counseling and it’s very helpful) and keep loving!

  3. Amberly

    May 24, 2017 at 1:00 pm

    Having family nearby to interact with your kids on a regular basis is so nice!!!
    Amberly recently posted…How Understanding The Color Code Can Benefit Your Marriage

  4. Audrey

    May 24, 2017 at 1:17 pm

    October marks 10 years together for us, too ๐Ÿ™‚ Things have definitely changed SO much. Our opinions, attitudes, life goals, personalities… they’re all shift slightly to dramatically. It’s crazy. It’s definitely hard to be in a relationship, especially when you’re a young adult and you’re constantly growing and changing, but very rewarding when it’s with the right person ๐Ÿ™‚
    (Obviously I 100% agree with the dog one and the business one!)
    Audrey recently posted…A Dog Rescue Kit

    • chelsea

      May 26, 2017 at 12:39 pm

      isn’t it nuts just how much we have changed since day one, 10 years ago?! i am often shocked when i think back to who i was back then. you are very right that it’s super rewarding and worth it when you are with the right person (who is also growing and changing in positive ways)!
      chelsea recently posted…10 Unexpected Things after 10 Years Together

  5. Vivien

    May 24, 2017 at 1:19 pm

    Congratulations to yourself and Ryan on this anniversary! It’s great to read about your journey and what you are doing that really works for you, even if it is something you had originally thought you would not do (i.e. dog before kid, business together).

    To quote someone, here’s to you guys holding hands at 90+
    Vivien recently posted…And the winner of the Division Contest isโ€ฆ

    • chelsea

      May 26, 2017 at 12:40 pm

      thank you vivien! it’s fun to look back to where we were, where we are now and think about the future together!

      i like that quote! we actually chose our wedding date 9/3 because we always say we will be together for 93 years and then renegotiate our contract ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. Elyse @ Just Murrayed

    May 24, 2017 at 3:54 pm

    Yay! Happy Anniversary! November marks 16 years together for us! Things have definitely changed SO much. Pretty much everything. It can be hard to be in a relationship when you’re young and constantly changing but if it’s the right person, they grow and change right along with you! Laughing is definitely the key to staying together for us. Also, leaning on each other when times are tough, whether that’s from outside influences or each other. We are each other’s rocks.

    • chelsea

      May 26, 2017 at 12:43 pm

      wow 16 years!!! that is awesome elyse and yeah, talk about some serious changes between you two! yup agree about the growing and changing with you – that’s really great! glad you both have that rock solid support for each other!

  7. jenniferhastonsays

    May 24, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    Great post!! Love your story!
    #4- Amen! I hate admitting this. We felt like you two. We are goopy in love and it’s still REALLY hard sometimes.

    • chelsea

      May 26, 2017 at 12:46 pm

      hahaha oh jennifer! i am still laughing at โ€˜goopy in loveโ€™ that is amazing phrasing! yup i agree that it can be both!