10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

By chelsea | July 18, 2018 9 Comments

10 SIGNS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

isn’t it funny how we are taught about geometry and chemistry but we are rarely taught the characteristics of a healthy relationship? and by ‘funny’ i mean sad and often times harmful to the relationships we are in.

why is it important to know if you’re in a healthy relationship? because life is too short to be in an unhealthy one. i should know – i was in one for three whole years. thankfully i got out of it but it took lots of unlearning, various resources and apologizing to have the healthy relationship i have with my husband. oh and ‘healthy’ does not mean ‘perfect.’ if you are hoping for perfect, stop it because you will be unhappy forever.

here are 10 signs of a healthy relationship:

1) mutual respect

the definition of respect is having the deep admiration of someone based on their qualities, abilities and/or achievements. both people need to have this for the other. we all know those people that tend to talk disrespectfully to or about their significant other. that’s no good.

r-e-s-p-e-c-t. aretha franklin knew what she was talking about.

2) encouragement of each other

this is a big one. do you know your spouse’s goals? do you encourage them along the way of achieving them? my husband is the person that knows me the best. because i spend the most time with him, his encouragement goes so far with me! you don’t have to be a motivational speaker to encourage your spouse. show your support by being active and vocal in their interests, hobbies and goals!

3) the relationship is a partnership

a partnership requires two people who value each other and the relationship. there is give and take. you share in the risks and benefits of living life together. no one is better than the other. you are a team!

4) feelings are shared openly and honestly

not everyone is comfortable or even knows how to share feelings openly and honestly. this is an enormous element in your relationship because we have to base our actions off what the other person tells us. one way to start is by using “yes means yes” concept (um yeah, i totally had to plug our new TEDxTalk!)

5) both value and prioritize the relationship

this is an area where i see a lot of contention between couples. one person puts more value or effort into the relationship than the other. i totally know life gets busy and sometimes date nights get pushed out because children have high needs or a project at work needs attention. however, if only one person is constantly putting effort into the marriage and the other one isn’t, issues will arise. another idea…take a MarriageMoon!

6) everyone is in charge of their own happiness

i found this out the hard way. we cannot rely on any other person to make us happy. we each have to be in charge of our own happiness. if we rely on the other person, they will eventually fall short and we will place the blame on them. everyone needs to rely on themselves to be happy.

7) deal with conflict and then let it go

yes, even healthy couples have disagreements and conflicts. it’s how you handle them that matters. work on your communication skills so you’re able to get across what you need (while doing so respectfully) and then be able to release it once it’s resolved. we do talk about this in our TEDxTalk about the “build-up to blow-up.” don’t let things build up!

8) compromise (yes, you need it)

let’s face it…a relationship consists of two individual people (for the most part) so of course you won’t see eye-to-eye on everything. don’t be so set in your ways that you aren’t willing to give in sometimes and let your spouse have their preference. both people need to be willing to compromise along the way.

9) focus on fair, not equal

this is one of the main things that’s stuck with me since my relationship classes in college. studies show that couples that are happier together both feel like they carry a fair weight in their relationship, as opposed to equal weight.

for instance, my husband generally cooks our dinners and i generally clean up. that feels fair to us. is it equal? no. it’s waaay more effort to cook a whole meal than it is to rinse off some dishes and put it in the dishwasher. equal would mean he cooks one night and i cook the next and so on. that doesn’t work for us (read: i despite cooking and he likes it) so we work to make sure our household/parenting/business work feels fair to both of us.

10) make each other laugh

a 93 year old man by the name of jay once told us, “if you’re not having fun, you’re not doing it right!” we remind ourselves of this frequently because it’s so true! marriage should be fun! work should be fun! life should be fun! if you’re not having fun…something needs to change. find ways to make each other laugh and continue to enjoy life together!

on that note, i have something fun to share with you…

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 LIVE MARRIAGE WORKSHOP IN DENVER!

ravery and i are holding our full-day marriage workshop in denver on september 8, 2018!!!!!!! we would absolutely love to have you and your spouse attend so check out more details HERE!

we are seriously so excited to be holding this fun and transformative event in our home city! seating is super limited because we found it works best in smaller groups so jump on it or send it to a friend who might benefit! we’d love to hang out with YOU!

the website can be found here https://thenewwifestyle.com/divedeeper/

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what else have you found to be an indicator of being in a healthy relationship?

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