Tell Me Something Good – Procreation Choices
first of all – holy smokes! thank you to every single person who commented, “liked,” texted, called or sent telepathic vibes to us about the announcement of little bavery! i had to charge my phone three times on wednesday because of all of the outpouring of love coming in. i also teared up at many of the comments (only partially due to hormones) so thank you thank you thank you for all of the love!
our friend jen took the above photo when she was visiting us in portland and i adore sugar’s uncertain/unimpressed face at the exciting news. haha
i shall do my best not to overwhelm you with baby posts but i am excited to add this to the list of things i can share with you, now in a much less unfiltered way since it’s out in the open! i will talk more about my first trimester in another post but to quickly sum it up – it was rough for me. it was not fun and i distinctly remember lying on my bed in misery thinking “i kind of hope there are two in there because no part of me wants to do this whole thing again.”
i share this with you to lead into my ‘tell me something good’ post for the day. it has to do with choices we, especially as women, get to make when it comes to procreation. i have worked not to get pregnant for the past decade. that was a choice i made and that is something SO good.
i have shared in multiple posts about me firmly believing that it is a choice to have children, and not a requirement for a fulfilling life. i have written about wondering if my biological clock was broken and then i shared a few months ago about how happy i was to enjoy my time with my husband, baby-free. i actually had that post queued up for quite some time but was nervous to share it. afterall, the new wifestyle is founded on the firm belief that we get to make choices in our lives and not live by outdated expectations (read the manifesto lately?)
here’s the awesome thing about making choices and decisions – we get to make them. we get to decide and then change our mind when circumstance change. we, as incredible humans, get to decide what is right for us. i say this as a white woman living a very privileged life in north america but many of you reading this now share in that same privilege and it’s not afforded to everyone around the world. let’s not take that for granted.
once i made the decision that i wanted to bring a life into this world (that’s a hefty post for another time), it happened quickly. i say “once i made the decision” because my husband has been ready for literally years. YEARS. i do not want to be insensitive to those couples who are trying to get pregnant and are struggling because i cannot imagine how hard that must be. for us though, it happened fast and suddenly my body and mind were going through so many challenging and unpleasant changes.
as i struggled to get out of bed, eat anything or attempt to do one thing on my “to-do list” these past few months, i started thinking how lucky i was that i got a choice when i wanted to have a baby. it wasn’t like merely a few decades ago when birth control wasn’t readily available or FREE if insured in the USA (#thanksobama). if you wanted to have sex back then, chances were you got pregnant, whether you wanted to or not.
not to get into a heated debate over birth control or beliefs around controlling procreation individually but i am also thankful that we have options when it comes to family planning. as i laid there, in one particularly horrendous month, i thought about how miserable i felt. maybe i felt 3% of joy and excitement about the end result of feeling this terrible but the whole rest of my being was miserable. as i laid there i couldn’t help but think “how horrible this experience would be if a woman didn’t want this embryo and yet she had to go through with all of this.” regardless of your personal opinions or mine in this matter, the fact that women have more control over what happens to us/our families and when is empowering.
i am thankfully starting to feel much better and have a slight increase in my energy so i am enjoying the process more. my husband has been insanely supportive and once went to the grocery store twice in one day because i thought i might be able to stomach a bagel and then later some 7-up. he’s a champ – ha! because he literally is a world champion too.
so in this longer “tell me something good” i want to say thank you to everyone who showed us love, support and encouragement with our exciting news! also thank you to the people who have worked hard so that we as women have more control over baby-making! oh, and i can finally lay in bed in less misery and start getting more excited about what’s to come so yay!
okay, you’re turn! please share something good!