What To Do On Your “Love Day” + Giveaways!

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you probably didn’t notice that i wasn’t on social media last sunday but i sure as hell did. those embarrassing ‘addict’ moments of reaching for my phone to snap a photo, post on instagram or text someone came on strong that morning but i didn’t indulge.

the reason for my strength not to indulge? my husband and i scheduled a love day and we agreed to keep our phones on airplane mode and away from us as well as work tabled for the moment. we told our parents to not expect to hear from us (which was an important step in the process because some family members’ minds go straight to assuming we must be dead when they don’t hear from us).

before we get into what to do on your “love day,” it’s important you understand why it’s so important. the ‘love day’ is different than just agreeing to spend a few hours together uninterrupted. it’s a full day dedicated to focusing on each other and our marriage. we try to do this at least once a month because it gives us the boundaries we need so we can keep running a healthy marriage and business together.

how to take good couples pictures ryan and chelsea avery

i will be the first to admit that my phone is one of my biggest distractions. when i don’t want to work or write, i check my weather app. not just for my city of portland, oregon but for the other 9 cities where my family is spread out. i love clicking on hashtags in instagram and getting sucked in and seeing what passive aggressive things are said on facebook. it’s a total time suck and it sucks me away from my relationship too.

of course i had anxiety about turning my phone on airplane mode because my mind instantly went to “oh no! what if something really does happen to someone in our family and they can’t get ahold of us?!” that didn’t happen.

we spent the morning at the waffle window (photo from when i went earlier in the week. my husband became very jealous when he saw this and insisted it be a requirement of love day). we reminisced about our first date together.

waffle window

to aid in the digestion process of the waffles, we walked around a bookstore. there is something so romantic about a bookstore to me. it’s something about the old wooden shelves and that distinct smell of books waiting to be read. i was on a mission to find 2 books in particular, the go-giver (thanks for the recommendation jessica!) and the desire map.

the desire map

we came home, snuggled up in bed and read. it was incredibly relaxing. although we were both engrossed in our own books, we felt close, legs intertwined with a pup at the edge of the bed.

the rest of the day consisted of long walks in the sunshine, playing backgammon (you should know i won), cooking dinner together and watching a movie. it was filled with meaningful and uninterrupted conversation, lots of eye contact (since there was no instagram for my eyes) and admiration for the life we are creating together (not a baby life…just like…life). making time on this day to fully focus on ourselves and no one else always energizes us and serves as a reminder just how much we enjoy choosing to be in this relationship together.

i recommend doing this as soon as you can. put it on your calendars, block it out. obviously it’s easier for us since we don’t have kids but even if you can get a sitter for a full or half day to spend time together, it will do wonders for your love.

suggestions for what to do on you “love day”

  • take a walk together and share your favorite trait about each other
  • go to brunch (without instagramming it)
  • play games
  • explore your city
  • have a staring contest
  • talk about the first time you held hands/kissed/made love (oooh la la)
  • cook a meal together

since we are on the topic of love and since it’s friday (hip hip hoooray), how about some love for yourself! i’m part of not one but two giveaways this week! the first is hosted by nina @ the grand adventures of me. you could win $50 to target (and if you live in oregon this means exactly 50 things from the dollar section. heyo no sales tax), a DIY mug design of your choice and fresh appalachian coffee from nina’s favorte coffee shop in tennessee!

the grand adventures of me || the new wifestyle || emily finta || endliss bliss || reckless
a Rafflecopter giveaway

 you can also get in on a $50 sephora gift card, hosted by meagan @ all the joys blog! is this your lucky day or what?!

Sephora Giftcard

Meagan at All the Joys || Alanna at Alanna & Company || Lindsay at Bourbon, Lipstick & Stilettos || Chelsea at The New Wifestyle || Kerri at Hey Kerri Blog

a Rafflecopter giveaway

fingers crossed that a wifestyler wins the giveaways and no fingers crossed for you scheduling a love day because you don’t need luck for that, just love.

1) what’s your biggest technological distraction? 
2) what books are you reading now?
3) when is your ‘love day’ scheduled for?


  1. Shelby

    April 17, 2015 at 7:15 am

    I love this idea! Some nights I will try to leave my phone in the bedroom, but that just isn’t enough. This is such a good reminder to incorporate this into a monthly routine! Especially to do things that you keep saying you want to do, but never feel like you have the time to.

    Also, I read your blog about children, and I so badly wanted to comment and talk about this because I made a similar post not too long ago…but I couldn’t and I got bummed!
    Shelby recently posted…Five on Friday!

    • chelsea

      April 17, 2015 at 8:22 am

      totally agree shelby, it’s easy to talk about doing something but actually doing it is different! glad it’s on your radar and let me know how it goes 🙂

      ohh boo i turned off comments on posts older than 60 days because that’s where i was getting a bunch of spam comments. would still love to hear your thoughts on this though~
      chelsea recently posted…What To Do On Your “Love Day” + Giveaways!

    • Shelby

      April 20, 2015 at 3:24 pm

      Some thoughts! 🙂

      It’s been really tough for me to find someone who I can relate to in regards to having children. I don’t feel that push, or an urge to be a mom. Someday’s I wonder if this means I will ever feel that push to be a mom, or I’m just not there yet. But it seems that most of them women I am surrounded by feel the strong desire to be a mom but are saying “not right now.” But for me, it feels strongly like, “will there ever be a right now?”

      When I think about children I feel like I have to start crunching in my big career moves, my degrees and large moves — while it is still ok to be selfish, and I wouldn’t be affecting a small human life that I am responsible for. And to some degree, I wonder if the things I feel like I want to do now, will ever feel not as important to me as a child.

      • chelsea

        April 20, 2015 at 8:32 pm

        i am so glad you shared your thoughts, shelby! there was another thread from the post on FB where a lot of women commented that they never felt that huge push or urge to have kids but figured they would add to their lives. they said they are so happy they decided to have kids, even though there wasn’t that urge.

        i often wonder if i’ll ever have that feeling too and in some ways i’m sort of glad i don’t have it because it allows me to feel like i’m making a more informed choice for some reason 🙂 i don’t know if we’ll ever have that feeling or know when exactly if and when we want kids but i do know that i want to enjoy the here and now in my life without them 🙂 thanks again for your thoughts!

  2. Jennifer Haston

    April 17, 2015 at 7:26 am

    Great post! So timely as well because as hubby and I watched “the voice” (we never watch it live, thank you HULU) instead of getting irate as he reached for his phone I said, honey, I hate sharing you with the world, do you mind not playing with your phone while we watch the show so we can talk about who we like, who we don’t like and share this together?” He did it and honestly I had to really stop myself from grabbing my phone!!!!! so it turns out that I am the bigger offender here but we both had great conversations and even paused the media to discuss the media which led us to discussions about our own feelings about music and singing and performing which I do not believe would have been accessible if we had been “in our phones”

    1) what’s your biggest technological distraction? my phone- like you I never met a post I didn’t have to like or tag or (tweet) recently getting into twitter so its getting worse not better..
    2) what books are you reading now? The Good Fight by Les and Leslie Parrott (one of the speakers at the conference, I screamed and waved my arms like I did care.. and got the book for free but its really good content about how you fight being a way to connect or divide
    3) when is your ‘love day’ scheduled for? we have a date night each week and this week we had it at fantastic Brazilian steakhouse to celebrate his promotion and though we took one picture, it was of dessert and I got permission from him and he also gained permission from me earlier to check on a pending work thing, but I liked the way we both handled it.. “boundaries/checking temperature” is so crucial!

    • chelsea

      April 17, 2015 at 8:26 am

      that’s a great way to say that, jennifer! i’m glad you could let him know you wanted his full focus and that he did it! it’s so crazy how addicted we are to the habits of reaching for our phones, i’m totally guilty too.

      ohhh man sometimes i get really into twitter too and feeling like i have to share every little, snarky thing! good luck with that new found media!

      so glad you had a great date (and yay promotion!!!) glad you have those boundaries of checking in with each other when you’re on those dates, that’s crucial!

  3. Ashley @ Saving Money in your Twenties

    April 17, 2015 at 8:13 am

    “not a baby life… just like… life” hahaha!! I love the idea of a love day- so fun!! I am totally addicted to my phone and it is NOT okay. I’ve been challenging myself to not immediately check social media when I wake up (as is my habit…) and I totally have some of those ‘addict’ moments of reaching for the phone! gah!
    Ashley @ Saving Money in your Twenties recently posted…The BEST Way to Make Homemade Pizza (+ dough!)

    • chelsea

      April 17, 2015 at 8:27 am

      haha glad you liked that ashley! while i was rereading the post i read that sentence and thought “mmmhmm. that sounds like baby making” ha!

      i’m working on not checking social media first thing when i wake up either! it’s hard for some reason but i always feel less stressed and less anxious when i don’t do this first thing!

  4. Ashley Perez

    April 17, 2015 at 8:35 am

    I love Target! I am always there 🙂

  5. Amberly

    April 17, 2015 at 9:18 am

    I love this idea!!! Joe and I need to do something like this… except that we have a little one on the way, that will be a little bit more difficult, especially because if we leave him for a day, I’ll feel the need to have my phone on still. I’m going to start implementing this into our marriage!! 🙂
    Amberly recently posted…Ask Us Anything – Baby Version

    • chelsea

      April 17, 2015 at 2:03 pm

      yeah i’m sure that’s trickier when you have kids (and yours is due any day! how exciting)! once you get past that anxiety of not feeling the pressure to check or post something every few minutes, it’s amazing the connection you can create 🙂
      chelsea recently posted…What To Do On Your “Love Day” + Giveaways!

  6. Rebecca Chapman

    April 17, 2015 at 12:16 pm

    This is such a wonderful idea. I’ll have to suggest it to my husband. Facebook is my biggest distraction. I get sucked in to caring about things that don’t even matter. Or feeling like I’m missing something if I don’t check it all the time. Oh and texts. Texts all day are distracting.
    Rebecca Chapman recently posted…Comment on Must Play Well With Others by Amanda

    • chelsea

      April 17, 2015 at 2:04 pm

      oh man i can get lost for hours on facebook. literally. it’s so bad and i have no idea what i’m even looking for i just don’t want to miss something, exactly like you said! texts are super distracting too. i’m guilty of that. let me know how it goes once you both pick a date, it’s pretty amazing to connect!

  7. Christy Spurlock

    April 17, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    I have never passed a Target that I’ve not stopped to visit. Love and Adore TARGET!!

    • chelsea

      April 17, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      ha love it christy! hope you don’t live toooooo close to one 🙂

  8. Rachel G

    April 17, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    This is when I rub my hands together with an evil grin and declare that I knew I was a genius for never getting smart-phones in the first place. Of course, it helps that we’ve never yet had a job that required smart phones. Laptops are pretty easy to shut down. We’ve always loved declaring days for ourselves and going on adventures together–I feel like we don’t date quite as much here just because adventures seem to require a lot more physical and mental energy than they used to. Standing on a crowded subway for two hours to go to an absolutely fabulous, amazingly delicious restaurant…just isn’t quite the same as the hop in my cozy sedan and drive to the steakhouse…or the breakfast diner…or the taqueria…15-20 minutes away. I don’t know why, dating doesn’t feel relaxing here, unless we just hang out together and play Boggle or Trivia Crack in the apartment.
    Rachel G recently posted…Life Itself Demands Celebration

    • chelsea

      April 20, 2015 at 8:18 pm

      haha you are TOTALLY genius for not getting a smart-phone. yeah it sounds like it’s tricky where you’re living now to get to new destinations and spending 2 hours on a subway sounds horrrrrrrible. hope you are finding other fun adventures and sometimes boggle can be a good date too (we play backgammon, cards and scrabble a lot too) 🙂

  9. Elizabeth T

    April 17, 2015 at 5:03 pm

    I LOVE this idea, Chelsea! My phone + design/blog stuff is a huge distraction for me and the xbox definitely takes up a ton of the hub’s time when he’s home. Ya know, I think I might have to suggest a love day to him!
    Elizabeth T recently posted…When It Rains….It Pours

    • chelsea

      April 20, 2015 at 8:18 pm

      oh i feel you on that front elizabeth for sure! hopefully he takes you up on the love day suggestion and puts down the game controller 🙂

  10. Dawn

    April 17, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    Oh my, Facebook is my biggest distraction.

    I am reading several books because I have biblio-ADD. It’s a real thing! I am reading Chicken Soup for the Cat Lover, and I thought it was just me (But it wasn’t) by Brene Brown. 🙂

    And love day is not yet scheduled but WILL be by tonight 🙂

    • chelsea

      April 20, 2015 at 8:15 pm

      ohhh i need to get my hands on ‘i thought it was just me (but it wasn’t). brene brown is the very best! she’s so relatable and powerful!

      hope that love day is scheduled!

  11. Amanda Wood

    April 18, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    You always have such great ideas. Hubs and I do a date night, where we turn our phones on silent and just enjoy each other’s company. With our schedules being a bit opposite, it’s hard for us to get an entire day together.
    Amanda Wood recently posted…Currently

    • chelsea

      April 20, 2015 at 8:10 pm

      i’m glad you and the hubs take time to turn the phones off and just be together! it’s really freeing to connect and get over that weird anxiety of not having a phone on us at all times!

  12. Kim Pincombe Cole

    April 19, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    Great post – Love Days are so important. After nearly 18yrs (gasp) of marriage, my husband & I really try to set these days aside on a regular basis.
    And great giveaway! I’m pretty obsessed with Target – just fought through the Lilly crowd at mine today!

    • chelsea

      April 20, 2015 at 8:09 pm

      i am SO happy to hear you are still doing this after 18 years, kim! that’s so fantastic and congratulations 🙂

      you are a brave woman for dealing with the lilly crowd today-i’ve heard it was NUTS!

  13. Rosie

    April 21, 2015 at 12:56 pm

    I love Target! I’m on their website all the time!

    • chelsea

      April 23, 2015 at 4:58 pm

      it’s hard to beat rosie!

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