welcome to the new wifestyle!

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well…i made the leap! i have wanted to start my own blog separate of AveryToday for a while now (thank you all for your input a few months back) but it’s taken me some time to figure out what exactly i want to write about. i came up with “wifestyle” on a plane about 2 months ago when i glanced at ravery ‘s (my husband) drink napkin and saw he had written the word “lifestyle” but for a second i thought i saw a “w” instead of an “l” so i giggled to myself about this (more later on how he writes on every. single. piece of paper available to him). and then i FREAKED out. this was it, this was exactly the type of thing i wanted to do. so he clicked off the flight attendant call button above my seat (he thought i should wait to alert them until the website was secured), listened to me ramble and i bought the domain name website during our layover.

i unfortunately do not have a picture of the famed napkin i owe this whole website to, but i do have an amazing picture of ravery not fitting on an airplane because he’s 6’4 for your enjoyment. take a moment to enjoy.

ryan avery on a small plane

one of my passions: being in a successful and healthy relationship and helping others achieve this. i know what it’s like to be in bad relationship (trust me, i experienced 1,095 days of it) and i have had to learn and unlearn quite a few things to be a part of a healthy relationship (going on about 2,243 days) that i have with my husband now. i also have a background in social work, so essentially “i’ve been trained to care” (i coined that phrase when i became a peer counselor in high school- i may need to make bumper stickers).

another one of my passions: women’s rights-in society, in the work place and in the home. don’t get me wrong, i do adhere to some traditional gender roles from my great grandma’s day (yes, i do all the laundry because he ruins things when he does it. it’s also my excuse to watch a trashy tv show when i’m folding so i’m okay with it). i can also make a mean egg and bowl of cereal and that’s about it for cooking for me (baking on the other hand…count me in-but don’t get too crazy). but he loves it and does it when we have time (otherwise, bring on the cereal). i added the “new” part to wifestyle because i really do believe my generation and the ones that follow will be (or perhaps should be) entering marriage and commitment as a partnership, not a preconceived list of who does what, no questions asked. and no more of this “well, he’d make a great first husband!” crap. obviously no one enters a marriage anticipating divorce…but i have heard multiple people ranging from 14-33 make that statement. a successful marriage doesn’t happen by chance, people.

our deal: we’ve made a commitment to be together for 93 years (then we are allowed to renegotiate the terms of our marriage). we have also made a commitment to make our partnership a priority, to work at it and have a lot of fun along the way-for all 93 years.

toes in the sand

you may also notice a plethera of other blog posts that follow this from my first blog, AveryToday, take a look around if you want. you may also notice that i used to end each post with a “life lesson” and i feel it’s too cheesy (and that’s saying something coming from me) to end this with a “wife lesson” so i’m still toying around if i want some sort of consistent ending. hope you like surprises!

{left intentionally blank for potentially something witty or insightful. or nothing}

1) are you in a relationship? if so, how long have you been together? (you don’t have to use days…i will also accept months or years)
2) what do you think is one of the most important things in a relationship between 2 people?
3) any ideas or input on how you might like me end each blog post? (thank you in advance)


  1. Ryan Avery

    June 24, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    So proud of you for taking this leap and starting your own blog! You are incredibly inspiring!

    • chelsea

      June 24, 2013 at 2:40 pm

      well thank you ravery…i did have my own blog before but now i have this whole spacious weeeebsite to myself (many thanks again to you)!

  2. Paula Howley

    June 24, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    Yay Chelsea! You are superbly awesome and I suspect this will become a very popular blog.
    1. In a relationship with my hubby. It will be 11 years on Oct. 21.
    2. There are a lot of things but I think your core values have to be the same or there’s going to be trouble. Also, as you said Chelsea, constantly working at a relationship is crucial. I think any relationship can be saved if people put in the time and effort.
    3. I like the “wife lesson”. 🙂 You have a huge cheese factor whilst being incredibly cool, making you the perfect mix of cheese and cool. “Chool.”

    • chelsea

      June 24, 2013 at 8:08 pm

      thank you paula for your super kind words, i truly appreciate that and i have a new spark lit inside of me because of this here blog! and yay for 11 years with your hubs (i didn’t realize it had been that long and it makes me so happy for you). spot on with core values needing to line up AND a lot of relationships would absolutely be saved if booooth people are willing to put in the time and energy. y

      ou also almost got me with chool…i am currently reconsidering because of you paula. dammit.

  3. Molly Joy

    June 24, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    I’m excited to read more, Chelsea! Particularly about cookies.

    • chelsea

      June 24, 2013 at 8:09 pm

      yay! thank you for reading and commenting molly…i’m getting pretty excited about the cookies part too 🙂

  4. jennifermckennasays

    June 24, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    Chelsea, I love seeing you take this leap!! Very exciting!
    1. I have been in a relationship since 2008 with the love of my life, we married 2 years ago.
    2. This is a great question, after two years of marriage and five years together, I have learned patience is very important.
    3. I think ending with a question is a great way to get responses and people thinking (see how it just worked for me?)

    • chelsea

      June 24, 2013 at 8:10 pm

      thank you for appreciating the leap, jennifer! and so happy to hear you have been with the love of your life since 2008 and married 2 years ago-yay love! and patience…yay learning how to have patience. thanks for the insight on ending with a question!

  5. Emily

    June 24, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    Congrats on the new blog.
    1) been with Stephen for 10 years now
    2) I think communication is important.
    3) love to read anything you post.

    • chelsea

      June 24, 2013 at 8:12 pm

      thanks so much emily! it’s hard to believe you’ve been with stephen for a decade and now with 2 little ones-yay (please tell stephen he is still allowed to read and comment on this since he’s in a relationship-ha ha). thaaaank you also for bringing up communication because i also believe that is the SUPER key to a successful relationship. great call emily 🙂

  6. Joyce Feustel

    June 24, 2013 at 8:01 pm

    Great blog concept, Chelsea and wonderful explanation of how you came up with this idea for a focus for your blog.
    1) Celebrated 41 years of marriage on April 1 (such a fun day for an anniversary)
    2) Sense of humor and humility
    3) The questions are always thought provoking – please continue to ask them

    • chelsea

      June 24, 2013 at 8:14 pm

      thank you joyce for your kind words and for commenting! absolutely love that your anniversary is on april fool’s day-ha! happy 41 years-that’s outstanding! love what you say about sense of humor and i particularly liked that you added humility too-i’m still working on that one.

  7. AJ Johnson

    June 24, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    1) No
    2) Open communication and always striving to balance togetherness and independence
    3) Thought provoking, emotion provoking, and contentious questions 😉

    • chelsea

      June 25, 2013 at 11:47 am

      thanks for commenting AJ and sooo agree with striving to balance togetherness and independence- really like that! thanks for your feedback on what types of questions to be ending the blog with-much appreciated!

  8. Julia

    June 25, 2013 at 12:11 am

    1! Four years… tommorrow, actually. I only know that because our first kiss was on the day of Michael Jackson’s death. Such a sad day for disco, and such a happy day for Alex and me!

    2! Sense of humor is huge, as is being able to do your own thing without feeling guilty. It is so great to be able to come together at the end of the day and have what you did to discuss- since you were off doing your own thing, it keeps everything fresh and exciting! And, as your man says, trust. It’s huge.

    3!! I have no idea. I fell off the blog train long ago…

    • chelsea

      June 25, 2013 at 11:58 am

      happy 4 year anniversary julia! and what a memorial first kiss…i hope when you kiss this morning you have MJ blaring in the background. totally agree about sense of humor…and being willing to laugh at yourself and your partner. also appreciate that you are doing separate things so when you come home you have a full day to recap (that has recently changed for us so that will be an interesting dynamic shift). and well play on ‘trust’ very well played 🙂

  9. Katie Du Pont

    June 25, 2013 at 1:39 am

    Love this. I totally Facebook stalked you for like an hour. You two are so adorable it almost makes me sick.

    1. I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years and none months. Met camping out for a UO football game 🙂
    2. Communication is the foundation for any successful relationship, romantic or not. We have been long distance now for two years and because of our strong communication, we have grown closer than we would have ever thought.
    3. I love Paula’s idea of ending with a wife lesson as well as a question to engage readers. I know you will figure out some OUTSTANDING ending for your OUTSTANDING blog 🙂

    • Katie D.

      June 25, 2013 at 1:41 am

      Ha 2 years 9 months. Numbers would have been easier. Three years October 2nd.

      • chelsea

        June 25, 2013 at 12:03 pm

        haha glad you engaged in some FB stalking…one of my favorite past times. ohhh jeez, perfect way for the 2 of you to meet at a UO football game-must be love! absolutely agree that communication is central for any relationships-ravery and i spent our first 7 months long distance (overseas) and i think that’s part of what helped us have such a strong foundation. keep it up! okay…we’ve got 2 for the wife lesson at the end…thanks for commenting katie!

  10. Vivien

    June 26, 2013 at 1:14 am

    Sorry for jumping onto this comment train a tad late….

    1) Currently, I am not. My record relationship was just over 4.5 years. It’s a story I refuse to tell without a pitcher of beer, haha. (The pitcher of beer shall be shared between me and the unlucky listeners.)

    2) As a wise woman always tells me, a relationship will contain plenty of laughter AND tears. It is not a Cinderella story, it is something the two of you will have to constantly work for and work towards just well, making it work.

    3) I have grown quite attached to the questions at the end of each blog post. Partly why I have ended up “stalking” your blog. Ahem.

    • chelsea

      June 26, 2013 at 12:24 pm

      there is never late…i love comments any day, any time so thanks vivien! i would also like to be that *lucky* listener that gets to hear the relationship story one day (although can i make it a bottle of wine instead of a pitcher of beer? is that too needy?). so very right that it is not a cinderella story and absolutely something you both must work on to make it work-smart lady you are listening to! glad you like the questions-i’ll keep them coming!

      • Vivien

        June 26, 2013 at 12:39 pm

        Of course you can make it a bottle of wine, that’s not too needy at all!
        By the way the picture of Ryan in the airplane made me laugh out loud. I always wish I was taller, but in this one case the grass is pretty green where I stand.

      • Vivien

        June 26, 2013 at 12:42 pm

        Doh. PPS thank you so much for being so potentially willing to hear my story (bottle of wine, alcohol, etc included!)

        • chelsea

          June 27, 2013 at 12:56 pm

          of course! i love hearing about relationships because they are so different and dynamic! thank you also for allowing me the bottle of wine 🙂 glad that picture made me laugh-cracks me up too!

  11. Aisha

    September 5, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    Hello! Just stumbled onto your website through a share on FB.

    1.) I’ve been in a relationship with my husband for 8 years.
    2.) I think that communication and trying to remember what each of us says, as well as being forgiving if something is forgotten, are very important.
    3.) You could end with ideas for date nights, fun ideas, and lessons. A fun mix of everything.

    • chelsea

      September 5, 2013 at 5:35 pm

      thanks for stopping by aisha! i totally agree about communication as well as being forgiving are great parts of what makes a successful relationship (seems like you have good insight after 8 years in your relationship) 🙂 thanks for commenting and sharing your insights!