The New Wifestyle Profiles | Elyse

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happy friday friends! i am so thrilled to share with you a fellow blogging friend, elyse! she writes a lot on marriage as well and it is a little crazy how many similarities we have (i mean, my middle name used to be ‘elise.’ i know, twinning). she has been fortunate to have many strong women role models in her life and shares excellent insight with us below. elyse has been with her husband since high school but spent 7 years of that long-distance! oh, and she’s canadian so read on and show her some love, eh! (i just couldn’t resist).

 the new wifestyle profiles elyse

Heya Wifestylers!

My name is Elyse and I blog over at Just Murrayed! I’m so excited to share my story with you today! My husband Andrew and I live in Toronto, Ontario. I’m a legal assistant by day and an avid reader and blogaholic by night. I’m obsessed with Mexican food, the Toronto Blue Jays and true crime shows. Andrew is a tea-drinking, British-TV-show-watching, Ghostbusters fanatic.

Our love story has many twists and turns but I guess that’s to be expected after 14 years together. Buckle up!

Photo Courtesy of Rachel Joy Photography

Photo Courtesy of Rachel Joy Photography

Our Love Story

Andrew and I met in Grade 9 while he was at his locker. I went up to him with some weird sense of confidence and introduced myself. We were instant friends and we began dating in Grade 10. But, you see we aren’t your typical high school sweethearts. He’s an army brat so he moved with his family four hours away when we were in Grade 11; just a year after we started dating. We continued to date because we couldn’t imagine not being together. We spent months at a time not seeing each other with only our nightly calls to keep us sane. If only we could have known that it wasn’t just 2 years we’d be apart but 7 years. Yup, to add another layer to our story we decided to not go to the same college so we hopped on trains as much as our wallets would let us and we got reacquainted with each other after spending years apart. After graduating college we moved to Toronto together to pursue our careers.image00

Almost 13 years after we started dating, we tied the knot in a heartfelt ceremony surrounded by friends and family where my husband and I cried the happiest of tears.

My Marriage Role Models

I grew up surrounded by family. My aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents live all in the same town; some even on the same street.  I’ve seen them love, laugh, take care of each other, cry, fight and ALWAYS makeup.

I’m so lucky to have had the BEST marriage role models. My parents have been married 37 years and even more astounding my grandparents were married for almost 60 years. Even my aunts and uncles have been together for double digit years.

My grandmother loves giving me advice on marriage and I love hearing it! Sometimes, the advice is serious like when she said, “When love is easy, remember why you love them. When love is hard, remember why you love them.” and sometimes it’s just downright funny, like when she told me at a cousin’s bridal shower, “Just don’t listen to him.”

The relationships that I saw growing up weren’t perfect but they taught me the most important lesson of all; marriage is ALWAYS worth it.


Photo Courtesy of Rachel Joy Photography

My “Wifestyle”

My “wifestyle” has been literally shaped by all of the strong women in my family. I’ve spent years watching how my mother, grandmother and aunts interact with their spouses.


It’ll get you through the good times but more importantly it’ll get you through the bad times. My aunt was SO right here. If you have someone who you can laugh with your life may not be easier but at least it’ll be much more enjoyable.

Speak Positively About Your Husband

I’ve rarely heard my aunt say a mean or negative thing about my uncle. She builds him up instead of tearing him down.

I am constantly praising my husband in public not because I think he needs constant compliments but it’s just common decency to not speak negatively about someone you love and care for.

Live Your Vows Every Day

My grandmother lived her vows, for better or for worse, in sickness and health and in good times and bad. I saw this as I was growing up but it became so much more real to me this year when my grandfather was in the nursing home dying. She was a beacon of strength for all of us but it really hit home that THIS is what our vows meant.

In the past year my husband and I both lost jobs which was SO hard but instead of tearing us apart, we had our vows as a comfort to keep us strong in our relationship.

It’s easy to love someone when things are going well but promising to love someone when things aren’t perfect is what separates the good and the bad marriages.

Photo Courtesy of Rachel Joy Photography

Photo Courtesy of Rachel Joy Photography

Develop Your Identity

My mother met and married my father all before her 21st birthday. That’s a lot of change for someone to go through during a time in one’s life when you are already constantly changing, but somehow she still was herself. She didn’t get lost in her identity as wife. She is many things to this day other than a wife. She’s an entrepreneur, a volunteer, an avid gardener and a grandmother.

Having met my husband when I did, I think it would have been easy to be sucked into his identity but I’ve worked hard in defining myself not as Andrew’s wife but more importantly as a legal assistant, volunteer, friend and aunt.

Final Thoughts

I’m thankful for the strong women in my life who have shown me that marriage can be an awesome part of your life. Marriage is ALWAYS worth it, not because you NEED someone by your side but it’s more meaningful and enjoyable to share your life with someone.


  • What’s the best and worst marriage advice you’ve received?
  • Do you have strong women role models for your marriage like I did? How do you think that’s shaped your relationship with your spouse?

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  1. Drew

    November 6, 2015 at 3:08 am

    I’ve been following Elyse for a few weeks now too.
    I’m a guy but I’ve had influential people in my life too – strong men and women. I’m forever grateful to them.

    The worst advice I got from some people is – “Don’t get married”
    The best advice from people that really mattered to me is – “Get married and be excited about it!”

    I haven’t looked back with regret since and I’m glad that there are a community of people who love marriage and honor it.
    Drew recently posted…Gentleness – Strength under Control

    • Elyse

      November 6, 2015 at 5:26 am

      I’m so glad you haven’t looked back with regrets and I’m so glad you’ve found a community of people who honour marriage too! It really can make all the difference!
      Elyse recently posted…Winter Bucket List

  2. Audrey

    November 6, 2015 at 5:49 am

    That picture with the chicken in the foreground is SO adorable!

    I think it’s absolutely wonderful that you have such a strong family to take notes from. The relationships in my family aren’t always perfect (I voice my concern when the women clear the dinner table and the men adjourn to the living room), but I’m so grateful to have a strong mother and feisty grandmas in my life to learn lessons from!
    Audrey recently posted…Thankful Fridays

    • Elyse

      November 6, 2015 at 6:40 am

      She was an AWESOME photobomber! I think she just felt left out since she followed us all day.

      I’m so glad that you do have some role models, even if they aren’t always positive, they are still people you can learn from!
      Elyse recently posted…Winter Bucket List

  3. Vivien

    November 6, 2015 at 1:23 pm

    Thanks for the great post Elyse! I loved how I could relate to a lot of the post when thinking about the marriage role models I have in my life, especially the one my mom always tells me about praising publicly and reserving constructive feedback for private times.

    Worst Advice: “Vivien, if you ever get engaged, talk to me and I’ll talk you out of it.” (Gee, thanks).
    Best Advice: (Paraphrased) It’ll be your marriage, you have to find (and do) what works for the two of you.

    I like to think I have strong women role models, mainly from my mom and her friends; each have defined their roles as wives so completely differently and it’s interesting to look back at the all of their relationships side by side. I think the common thread I’ve found (as mentioned above) is find someone that really understands and accepts you and accepts the relationship you will build together.
    Vivien recently posted…Why I Almost Vowed to Never Enter a Tall Tales Contest

    • Elyse

      November 6, 2015 at 1:51 pm

      I love your best advice! That is 100% true! And I love the advice to find someone who accepts you and the relationship you are building!
      Elyse recently posted…Winter Bucket List

  4. Amanda

    November 8, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    I think the advice to not speak bad about your spouse is so important. Thanks for sharing your story!
    Amanda recently posted…The FINAL Tell Me About Your Town Inspiration