One Sentence to Revitalize Your Relationship
seems like a clickbait title, i know but hear me out because it really can revitalize your relationship. if you have been in a relationship for a length of time, you get into routines. this isn’t all bad because it helps to make sure basic needs are met and things don’t get lost in the shuffle of day to day life.
the downside of this is that our actions can become robotic. the kiss when one of you walks in the front door, the quick hug goodbye and the expected ‘i love you’ before you both slip into slumber can be welcomed signs of comfort but more often than not – they are just part of the motions.
my husband gets full credit for enacting this one sentence that has revitalized our relationship, given me butterflies and shook us out of our routine.
as you may know, he is a communication speaker and trainer so his mind is always looking for ways to enhance and improve the way people and businesses communicate. we are of the belief that small things can create big differences in relationships and communication. because he travels quite a bit, we send many text message (complete with hilarious emojis) and talk on the phone frequently while he is gone.
every time he gets done with a speaking gig, he immediately calls me and tells me how it went. after a great one a few months ago, he said this sentence to me before we hung up:
“i am in love with you!”
it wasn’t the normal “i love you” which is always appreciated but has fallen into the category of ‘expected phrases.’ it gave me butterflies, it spoke to me about the status of his feelings towards me and immediately made me smile.
by saying “i am in love with you” every now and then in addition to “i love you” we are letting our partners know that we are actively still in love with the other one! i absolutely love this because i tend to say i love a lot of things: “i love the sunshine!” “i love when gas is cheap!” “i love eating a bag of doritos in a day!” but i am not in love with a whole list of things except for my husband.
we love our parents, we love our pets, we love our kids, we hopefully love our jobs but we are not in love with those things – that is reserved for our spouse or significant other.
i would encourage you right now to pause what you are doing, get up and go give your spouse a hug and look them directly in the eyes. then say with all the love you feel for him, “i am in love with you!” watch his/her reaction because it’s going to be a good one.
if you aren’t a home, pick up your phone and send a simple text to your boo-thang saying “i am in love with you!”
this is a small thing you can do with your communication to the most important person in your life that will revitalize your relationship!
do you say a variation of “i love you” to your significant other that helps to interrupt the routine of a long and committed relationship?
Nina @ Hugs and Lattes
April 4, 2016 at 9:08 am
Whenever Pai sends me a random text or just looks at me and tells me he’s in love with me I feel like I’m 13 and have my first crush all over again. That is SO true about this phrase. Because while love is a choice, choosing to stay in love after a number of years shows the level of commitment and even makes us feel like we are valued and prioritized in that person’s life. It makes everything romantic and lovey and now we just need to pop some champagne and eat some strabwerries.
Nina @ Hugs and Lattes recently posted…10 Signs it is not yet Spring
chelsea
April 6, 2016 at 7:17 am
ahhh i love that feeling too nina!!! so glad he does that to you 🙂 well said about choosing to stay in love over and over! also – please drink some champagne for meeeee!
Claire
April 4, 2016 at 9:08 am
Very sweet. Love this!!
chelsea
April 6, 2016 at 7:17 am
it’s been very good for us, claire 🙂
Elyse
April 4, 2016 at 9:11 am
It’s so true about the revitalization! Any of those little sayings, that we reserve for our spouse is essential to keeping our relationship special. For Andrew, I always say to him, “You’re sweet like candy, because you’re my Andy” and for him he always says to me, “Elephant Shoe” both of those sayings go back to our high school days and it’s something we’ve kept up because its OUR way of saying I love you.
Elyse recently posted…So Much To Be Thankful For
chelsea
April 6, 2016 at 7:18 am
those are the cuuuutest sayings you each say to each other, elyse! i especially love ‘elephant shoe’ because it’s so random but means a lot to you two specifically! so sweet!
jennifermckennasays
April 4, 2016 at 10:00 am
A couple oof months ago, we started saying, “I love you, I’m proud of you, and you’re mine” oddly enough- our pastor was preaching and talking about how God loved his son and we decided then and there we would say that to our child every night to be sure they know how much they are loved, we didn’t get a lot of that growing up and have experienced a lot of healing with our deep goopy love for each other. Thanks for the post, going to tell my hubby that (as soon as he wakes up) our sixth love language is sleep. sleeping in 🙂
chelsea
April 6, 2016 at 7:20 am
oh jennifer! this gave me all the warm feels about then choosing to say that same sentence to your baby that’s growing! love that the two of you are conscious of this, which can be even more difficult since it sounds like neither of you had that modeled for you growing up. love that you are changing the cycle 🙂
Rachel @ Countdowns and Cupcakes
April 4, 2016 at 11:24 am
So sweet! I absolutely love this.
Rachel @ Countdowns and Cupcakes recently posted…My Family Hates Me
chelsea
April 6, 2016 at 7:21 am
it’s really been a game changer for us, rachel! love that you tried it out too – yay!
chelsea recently posted…Pregnancy Update on Bavery: Month 4!
Brittany
April 4, 2016 at 12:45 pm
This is so sweet! I love it when my husband does something like this and it catches me off guard and makes me feel loved. A little extra effort goes a long way in marriage.
Marilyn Jess
April 5, 2016 at 5:46 am
Courtesy–I heard a renowned speaker use that word to describe how we should treat our spouse. He was spot on–treat your spouse with the utmost courtesy, and watch what happens.
chelsea
April 6, 2016 at 7:25 am
oh i like that ‘courtesy’ phrase – i’m sure if we extended that more to everyone we encounter and especially our partners, it would do amazing things!
chelsea
April 6, 2016 at 7:23 am
so right you are brittany that a little extra effort goes such a long way in a marriage! glad your husband does things like this for you too 🙂
Sara
April 4, 2016 at 9:43 pm
It sometimes feels like I love you becomes more habit then intentional. Going to try this with my husband.
chelsea
April 6, 2016 at 7:26 am
yes it totally can become more like a habit than intentional – glad you are trying it with your husband sara!
Marilyn Jess
April 5, 2016 at 5:43 am
I really love this phrase, “I am in love with you.” Short, and powerful. The longer you are married, the more important it is, in my opinion. As we age, the challenges can start to pile up, and we need stronger armor to defend against them, and remain optimistic, loving, and hopeful for the future. Will be using this phrase more–thanks, Chelsea.
chelsea
April 6, 2016 at 7:34 am
i agree marilyn and thanks for your honesty in that challenges can start to pile up so we need all the things we can get to remain kind and loving! glad you’ll be using this phrase more – it’s been really great for us!
Rachel G
April 5, 2016 at 5:13 pm
I say that all the time to Angel. I also tell him I’m proud of him and all sorts of good stuff. I’m basically a rockstar at words of affirmation–him, less so, but I love him for the kind of person he is, and he’s not a word person like me.
Rachel G recently posted…Angelisms, Part 12
chelsea
April 6, 2016 at 7:13 am
hopefully he gives you your love language in other ways or you can always tell him you need a few more words! glad you tell him you’re proud of him and all the good stuff!
Melinda
April 10, 2016 at 7:08 pm
This is so beautiful – yet so simple. I love it. 🙂
chelsea
April 11, 2016 at 12:05 pm
glad you like it! it’s really working for us melinda 🙂