Married Life Chats Volume XI
because all mondays need a little humor in them! here are our most recent married life chats, many of which have taken a whole new turn now that i’m with child.
him: whoa. are you like really tired?
me: *glare and eyeroll
him: i mean, you look exhausted. it looks like you have been partying for days.
me: you are inspiring a blog post of ‘things not to say to pregnant women.’
*note: yes, i was more tired than i have ever been before. thanks first trimester symptoms!
him: are we going to get things mammogrammed?
me: um, like squish things into the x-ray that checks boobs for cancer?
him: what! no, like the initials thing.
me: monogrammed boo, it’s monogrammed.
sitting at a restaurant along a path filled with people running
me: UGH.
him: what?
me: i hate watching people workout when i’m full. it hurts my stomach.
me: oh man, kids have so much stuff! we totally need a…
(said at the same time we say)
him: chest for toys
me: a house
me: oh. well. those are two very different things.
him: can you help me?
me: i’m growing you a child. what else could i possible help you with?
he is attempting to juggle small tangerines and failing miserably
him: why am i so bad at this!?
me: i don’t know but it’s hilarious!
him: mumbles…man, i even used to have a juggling kit…
okay…now it’s your turn! i know you are having hilarious and ridiculous chats in your own life so please share!
Audrey
March 28, 2016 at 9:04 am
Hehehe, these are too funny- especially the monogrammed/mammogrammed one!! I mean… they do sound very, very similar 😀 Haha!!
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chelsea
March 29, 2016 at 9:33 am
oh man – that one killed me! so so funny!
chelsea jacobs
March 28, 2016 at 9:13 am
SO funny! I finally told Chris he MUST stop asking me why I looked so tired. The answer was always that there is a tiny human sucking all of my energy from the inside.
chelsea jacobs recently posted…Chase it Anyway.
chelsea
March 29, 2016 at 9:37 am
that is an excellent response chelsea! i will be using that because seriously – the energy suck is real!
Nina @ Hugs and Lattes
March 28, 2016 at 12:46 pm
HAHAHA these are probably my favorite so far. I can’t remember if I shared this one in my last comment. But one of my favorite recent ones was:
Me: You’re being far too sarcastic tonight.
Him: It’s because I’m constipated. That’s why.
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chelsea
March 29, 2016 at 9:38 am
hahah you have not shared that one before nina and it’s hilarious!!!! i get that…and hilarious that it makes him quite the sarcastic person ha!
Heather Hawkins
March 28, 2016 at 5:27 pm
Nick: I’m gonna take a shower but i need to find…i need to find the thing. My….flat squirrel!
Me: towel….its a towel. No flat squirrels.
Nick: i need a useless spoon.
Me: …what.
Nick: you know. Not a spoon.
Me: a fork
Nick: yep
chelsea
March 29, 2016 at 9:39 am
haha oh those are some gems heather! ahah “a useless spoon” oh man that’s funny!
Vivien
March 28, 2016 at 7:56 pm
Mamogrammed! Heheheheh 🙂
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chelsea
March 29, 2016 at 9:39 am
that one was probably my favorite vivien! too funny
Elyse
March 29, 2016 at 2:42 am
Hahaha I laughed out loud at the mammogram/monogram thing.
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chelsea
March 29, 2016 at 9:40 am
ha! glad i cleared that one up for him because he could have really made a fool of himself elsewhere HA!
Rachel @ Countdowns and Cupcakes
March 29, 2016 at 11:48 am
I can’t get over the juggling kit one! Too funny!
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chelsea
March 31, 2016 at 10:50 am
oh man – i should have recorded a video! i couldn’t catch my breath i was laughing so hard!
Amanda
March 29, 2016 at 1:52 pm
hahahaha! OMG “I’m growing a child for you.” that’s the best thing I’ve read all day.
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chelsea
March 31, 2016 at 10:51 am
haha glad you liked that one, amanda! not gonna lie – i made myself chuckle when i said it aloud 🙂
Charlene
March 29, 2016 at 8:12 pm
haha the mammogrammed thing cracked me up!
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chelsea
March 31, 2016 at 10:52 am
it was too funny! i was picturing putting all these things into the x-ray machine!
Courtney {Alkeks Abroad}
March 31, 2016 at 1:42 am
Hahah the mammogramed was the best!! But seriously I feel like growing a baby should excuse you from having to do any favors and/or housework.
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chelsea
March 31, 2016 at 10:53 am
yeah…i agree and have sort of been following those guidelines haha!