The Downside of Comfort + An Announcement

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The Downside of Comfort

initially it might seem there’s no downside of comfort but hear me out. does anyone else ever feel that deep need for a change? it’s a deep but sort of silent need. it’s quiet so you can sort of ignore it – you’d much rather continue to be your comfortable, current self. that’s where i’m at currently.

i’m comfortable.

like her:

let me tell you, i love comfort. i seek it out. i know what it’s like to be uncomfortable. i know what it’s like not to know where rent money is coming from or declining opportunities and experiences because of my anxiety. i’m like our rescue dog, sugar, who will nudge over pillows and stack blankets for optimum comfort. it’s part of living, we naturally seek comfort.

there’s a catch. the downside of comfort, if you will. most of us are constantly seeking comfort. this might be in the form of working a ton of hours to be able to buy a more ‘comfortable’ house/car/jacket/lifestyle. it might be in the form of playing small (comfort) when you know you’re capable of so much more. it might be in the form of sticking with the same routine in your life because it’s safe (comfortable) even when you know things need to change.

that’s where i’m at. i’m comfortable and yet know i’m capable of more.

it’s a weird spot to be in. one part of me is like, “YES! new things! new ideas! you’re growing and changing, it’s so exciting! the possibilities are endless – let’s do this!” let’s call this part the seeker (no, i’m not mad that this also relates to harry potter). i’m seeking a higher, deeper purpose in life.

the other part of me is like, “yeah…but also like…kick your feet up. watch netflix. ask your husband to bring you another blanket and your toddler to bring you a cookie. you earned this comfort, enjoy it! what else could you possibly need from this life?” let’s call it the neutral zone. though it may seem like this is a happy place, it’s really a median, a neutral zone of comfort with little focus on growth. i’m not unhappy or ungrateful but rather at a comfortable baseline.

i am grateful to be back to this neutral zone since i was on the flip side of dark, unhappy times pretty recently. but thanks to therapy and a change in medication, i am feeling back to that baseline (thaaaank goodness) and i’m ready for more.

that’s not to say there’s anything wrong with being comfortable. we need that feeling and that space because the world, especially these days, is exhausting. however, it’s easy to fall into the trap of staying in that comfortable place a littttle too long when you know you’re capable of more. that’s the downside of comfort.

anyone else ever felt this odd paradox?

so, i’m going to spend the next few weeks prioritizing the seeker in me, even though the other part of me wants to stay comfortable and not change a thing.

i have some new changes that excite me (and also freak me out a bit) but i keep remembering, i can do hard things.

this means that i’m going to take a two-week break from writing on here to spend my energy writing something more aligned with my seeker-self.

i will be sharing more on the new wifestyle and sharing snippets and random ramblings on my instagram! stay tuned and thanks for your patience. it’s because of this community that i’m listening to the seeker part and wanting to do more.

with that, i’ll leave you with our fall family photo because it’s my new favorite (great capture, jef)! did i pick the photo where ravery and i look better than atlas vs. the one where she’s smiling but we look weird? yes, yes i did.

how are you? are you more in a seeker space or neutral/comfort zone right now?


  1. Penny Bowman

    October 24, 2018 at 9:49 am

    i wish i was a seeker, but i have always been a person who likes to stay in my comfort zone. but i am working on making changes in that area. thanks so much for all your great advice and i always love seeing you on instagram or where ever you are writing your thoughts and ideas. love you always. aunt p

  2. Audrey

    October 24, 2018 at 1:33 pm

    Hahahaha- I like your photo choice.
    I struggle with bouncing between seeker and comfortable. It’s a tricky scale to balance. I’m excited to hear about the new stuff you’re working on/invest in in the next couple of weeks!!
    Audrey recently posted…Chats with K

  3. Emily

    October 24, 2018 at 1:36 pm

    Please write a book. Please write a book. 🙂 Yes! I am that way too and unless I have a day that’s super busy- which then forces me to DO ALL THE THINGS – then I’m pretty okay with being in the neutral zone. Except I don’t sleep as well and my soul feels a constant (like, daily) stirring. This is soooo good and I am so excited for you! Cheering for you!

  4. Charlene Maugeri

    October 24, 2018 at 3:02 pm

    Good for you for cultivating your seeker self! I’m excited to hear more about this project! I am far too comfortable right now and it’s actually been making me rather uncomfortable lately. Does that make sense? haha On Saturday, Pearson and I spent like 4 hours at a coffee shop together. He worked on his novel (!!!) and I spent the entire time planning out big goals. Like BIG goals. Then I broke them down into smaller steps and actually scheduled those steps in asana. This week I’ve taken those daily steps and I am feeling really really good about everything!

  5. Jennifer Haston

    October 25, 2018 at 10:40 pm

    Great post! Thank you for being authentic. I love that you always say the truth for you. Love the Harry Potter references!! To take it a little further, be the seeker, don’t be the beater!

    I tend to “beat myself up” when not in pursuit of a goal. My mom calls it “shoulding” all over yourself. I should be doing this, I should be doing that. It’s so hard to just “be” sometimes. I think realizing you are comfortable and knowing it’s time to seek is even