5 Self-Care Tips if You’re Highly Empathetic

By chelsea | April 25, 2018 7 Comments

last week, i shared the difference between sympathy and empathy. today i want to share self-care tips if you’re highly empathetic, like myself!

being highly empathetic means i often shoulder the burden of other people’s emotions; like the circumstances are actually happening to me. i also feel and internalize the tragedies and cruelness of the world on a very deep level.

it can be completely exhausting to feel most everything so deeply.

i remember being this way as a child and at first assuming everyone else interprets the world in the same way. these have all been said to me throughout my life, multiple times.

“you’re too sensitive.”

“wait, why are you crying?!”

“…but those characters aren’t even real!”

“…get over it, that didn’t actually happen to you!”

it wasn’t until college and studying social work that i learned more about empathy. i know being super empathetic is part of what lead me to social work because i’m a giver. i want to help.

however, it’s incredibly hard to internalize so many people’s hardships especially when working in social services. in hindsight, a lot of me numbing out my emotions and feelings was because of this. i didn’t know how to safeguard myself when working with people in crisis.

also, perfect strangers tend to spill their guts to me. whether it’s on an airplane, at the grocery store or someone i’m meeting for the first time – people tell me private things like we’ve known each other forever.

my husband regularly says “it’s crazy how many people flat out tell you their most personal things!”

i spent years missing out on my full life because of anxiety and numbing out. i think that’s a big part of why it was so important for me to have a natural birth.

over the past few years, i’ve done a lot of self-discovery (starting a business with your husband and becoming a mom will do that to you). i’ve learned that feeling deeply is what makes me me and i shouldn’t try to bury that.

if you’re finding yourself agreeing with what i’m talking about, chances are you’re highly empathetic too. if not, keep reading so you can better understand people in your life who may feel this way!

 

5 self-care tips if you’re highly empathetic:

 

1. put yourself first

this is often counterintuitive for us highly empathetic and sensitive people. i know for me, this initially felt selfish. turns out – all those overused examples of having to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others with their masks are true.

in order to help best help others, you need to put yourself first so that you can be healthy.

this means self-care. figure out what we energizes and reenergizes you. maybe it’s spending time in nature, taking an art class, going to a comedy show, working out, listening to music, a bubble bath – figure out what you need to restore your balance.

2. set boundaries with people

because we are often the go-to person for many of our friends and family (and strangers on the bus), we need to set boundaries. if you have a friend that needs to process her unhealthy relationship be there for her. also say “okay, let’s get it all out for these next 30 minutes and then move on to the happier things in life.”

3. guard against unnecessary crap

unfortunately, natural disasters, violence and assholes are going to keep existing in our world. however, this doesn’t mean you need to watch it unfold constantly. turn off the news and remind yourself there is always good to be found in our world.

this is why i started ‘tell me something good fridays!’ they used to be on here but did you know i post them every friday on TNW facebook page?

this also applies to the fictional TV shows, movies or books you choose to consume.

i recently felt like i had to finish a book (i let you go, in case you were curious) even when about half-way through i knew it was negatively affecting me because of the domestic violence twist.

my husband totally called me out when we used to watch the show ‘shameless.’ i would always be upset, bitchy, worn out and snarky whenever we finished an episode. i was internalizing too much of their f’d-up family.

we are allowed to stop reading a book, watching a movie or removing ourselves from a situation. do it!

4. process your own emotions

i am someone that neeeeeds to process everything many things. sometimes this is with a friends, often times it’s my husband. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, counselors and therapists are the very best for this.

take the time to process your emotions with another human being.

5. embrace it

as i mentioned previously, trying to shut off this sensitive side will do you no good. those of us who are highly empathetic people, let’s work on embracing it. it’s part of what makes us great listeners, easy to talk to and bring a unique perspective to how others can interact with the world!

 

what other tips if you’re highly empathetic work for you? or, who do you know that sounds like this?

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