Real Talk: When My Confidence is Low
ready for a truth post from the heart? here it goes…
i have been feeling scattered brained and all over the place for the past few weeks. my confidence is low and shaky in what i’m doing professionally with this blog and our business. i spend so much time in my own head, that sometimes hours pass without me even noticing.
it would be so much easier if i had certain people telling me “chelsea, you can’t do this. you can’t achieve these goals. why should it be you to put a new spin on marriage and relationships?” but no, 99.98% of everyone i interact with is supportive and encouraging (thank you).
it’s ME telling myself these things and that’s the worst part of it. i can walk away from people who are nay-saying or block them on my social media but i am with myself. all. the. time.
it’s a dangerous thing to talk to ourselves this way because it sinks in deeper and it’s harder to come out of it.
i keep trying to remember to talk to myself like i would my best friend. easier said than done.
real talk…i don’t have everything together and i really do struggle still with feeling capable of living the life i’ve chosen.
one of the things i’ve found to help me see a little more light and feel a tiny bit better is reading positive quotes. i’ve signed up to get danielle laporte’s #truthbombs delivered to my inbox each day and those are helping.
another thing that helps is to be open with my lack of confidence and crazy feelings. though it’s scary to say/write things out loud, i feel as though it has less power over me than if i keep them locked up.
the point of these ramblings isn’t a plea for pity or even encouragement. it’s to let you know that if you’re struggling with where you are right now, you are not alone. it’s normal and we all go through it and hope it passes quickly. it’s apparently part of the process and i want to be real and authentic here.
if you are totally and completely rocking it where you are right now, celebrate that and remember that feeling so you can call on it later.
with that, i found this other quote which i have been guilty of these past few weeks and working to remember it:
this is a friendly reminder to you and to myself that we are capable, we can do big things and we already have everything we need inside us.
update: i posted this on facebook and then the fabulous jessica shared a link to this great video all about getting out of our way. give it a listen and move aside!
Shelby
February 25, 2015 at 9:04 am
Chelsea — I am so glad I came across your blog! It’s so hard for me to be where I am when I know where I want to be, and that causes me to be meaner to myself than I should be. Some days it seems easier to stop fighting for where I want to be because it some ways, that would be easier.
So, here’s to hoping we all get out of our on way, and find a way to be where we are, while still going where we want to go.
Shelby recently posted…The Husbands Words: The Bachelor
chelsea
February 25, 2015 at 9:59 am
i appreciate you reading, shelby and for your comment. you make a great point of it being hard to be where we are when we also know where we want to be! it’s hard because you’re right…it would be easier to tap out or change course but that’s not what we are here for.
thanks for your thoughts!
Audrey
February 25, 2015 at 9:05 am
Saying (typing) those fears out loud is so challenging, but I haven’t met one person without a little self-doubt. I love reading your life stories/advice/marital wisdom on this site. (I’m not trying to be encouraging or pity you, I’m just expressing how I feel about your blog.)
Some days I wake up feeling so sure and some days I want to hide under my desk to avoid feeling lost. I feel like I’m in a transition period but I don’t know what the transition is or if I’ll be good at it (a new job/parenting/writing/etc.) or if I’ll even enjoy where my life is headed. I hate feeling stuck but I so often doubt where I should go.
Long story short, you’re not alone, but as a stranger I think you’re doing a pretty great job at being Chelsea 🙂
Audrey recently posted…Recap: Downton Abbey (5.8)
chelsea
February 25, 2015 at 10:02 am
i super appreciate your thoughts and comment, audrey! agreed that every single person struggles with self-doubt every now and then.
i’ve totally been there too with that whole ‘transition period’ but where the heck are we transiting to and how do we know once we’ve ‘arrived?!”
i also think you are doing a great job at being audrey 🙂
Melissa C
February 25, 2015 at 9:57 am
I’ve been struggling similarly lately as well. When I look at the clock and expect it to say 5 min have passed but 2 hours are gone, I have no clue what happened. I’ve been praying a LOT lately to help get out of my head. I’ve been struggling with my decision to stay at home. There’s just a lot going on. This is a great post though, my dear!
Melissa C recently posted…Current Events from the Kids’ Point of View
chelsea
February 25, 2015 at 10:29 am
isn’t that nuts how fast our time can fly by?! it’s scary sometimes. that would be really hard to go from working to then be a full time stay at home mom, melissa. i hope you get to point of happiness with the decision you make (whether it’s going back to work outside the home or inside). at least it’s reassuring to know we aren’t the only ones feelings this way.
Jennifer Haston
February 25, 2015 at 3:45 pm
Hey Chelsea, thank you for your honesty! You always seem to have an endless supply of optimism so I am glad you have doubts too. I agree that self-talk is really important to helping achieve your goals and even more important is that it be positive! Sending you love and light, my dear friend!
chelsea
February 26, 2015 at 10:29 am
thanks for your comment jennifer! it’s funny how i can feel incredibly optimistic and cheer other people on alllll daaaaay looooong but sometimes i get stuck in my own head and it’s hard to get out of! felt your love and light and it’s appreciated-thanks jennifer 🙂
Pooja
February 25, 2015 at 10:02 pm
Its a beautiful post, sometimes you have to be your own hero.
I think everyone has to find their own peace.
Love
30ish
chelsea
February 26, 2015 at 10:30 am
i appreciate your comment and for reading, pooja. you are right that we have to find our own peace and i am still working on it 🙂
Ashley @ Saving Money in your Twenties
February 26, 2015 at 6:46 am
I don’t even know what to say to this post other than you hit the nail on the head with ALL OF IT. I am definitely guilty of questioning myself in business– you’re so right when you say that no one has told you that you CAN’T do this other than yourself… I do the same thing. blah.
I don’t know if this will help you but when I find myself getting less confident I try to cut myself off from social media for awhile. I find when I’m feeling down it is NOT good for me to look at other people’s lives because I just compare myself and then feel even worse. haha, no bueno.
Ashley @ Saving Money in your Twenties recently posted…Gratitude List… ready GO!
chelsea
February 26, 2015 at 10:31 am
well at least we know we aren’t the only ones feeling this way, ashley! that’s a good idea about taking a break from social media because that terrible and seemingly involuntary comparison trap gets worse! thanks for your thoughts!
Bill Burns
February 26, 2015 at 9:48 am
Good one Chelsea – I’ve felt that way a million times and still do sometimes.
chelsea
February 26, 2015 at 10:32 am
bill! thanks so much for reading and for you comment. sometimes it’s just helpful to know that others feel this way from time to time so thank you. hope you are doing well!
Paula Howley
February 26, 2015 at 8:36 pm
It’s important that you share this kind of stuff Chels- we have to be authentic with each other or really, what’s the point? I appreciate your guts and your honesty very much. I can imagine how it could be overwhelming sometimes to live with a serious over-achiever when you already struggle with anxiety.
Two or three months ago I was afraid I might be nothing but dust- it comes and goes but when it comes, boy does it come. Some days I feel like I’ve got a cape on my back and others I wonder what the hell I’m doing out of bed.
I get it, I hear you, I see you and I love you. Thank you for daring to share the incredible you. I so appreciate it.
Paula Howley recently posted…Head Start Public Speaking For Kids Week 16- Public Presentations For Kids!
chelsea
February 26, 2015 at 9:27 pm
ohhh paula! how you make my eyes tear up with your kindness and support! thank you for taking the time to read and for your kind comment. you’re spectacular and i’m glad to know you. thank YOU for being so incredible and i appreciate your authenticity, whether the cape is on or not 🙂
chelsea recently posted…Real Talk: When My Confidence is Low
TK
February 26, 2015 at 10:58 pm
Chelsea,
It must be a day of thinking about competing. I put up a FB post about competing with yourself. Being a little bit better than you were the day before. Finding a way to compete with yourself can be a creative, sometimes fun, exercise. I often use the bathroom mirror to post the scores on how I’m doing with my goals or the measurements of activities that should lead to my goal.
Continue to grow. Continue to stretch. Compete with yourself. You, my friend, ROCK!
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Nina
March 4, 2015 at 1:43 pm
I need those truth bombs!! I might just sign up. I’ve heard that we are all our own worst critic. It’s hard to be loving to ourselves when we know our deepest darkest secrets. I really had to look outside of myself to the people who know me well, and my faith to get out of the dark rut I was in a while ago when my self-esteem was at an all-time low.
You are doing great things and you will do wonderful things!
But say No to some things if it makes you a healthier person.
Nina recently posted…Homecoming Queen Reject
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