Everything You Need to Know About Pregnancy Sex!
yup, we are going there today! if you aren’t pregnant, not intimately linked to someone pregnant or not planning to potentially become pregnant, this post most likely won’t be for you and that’s okay. as i’ve mentioned before, talking about sex isn’t something that i choose to write about on this blog for personal reasons but thank goodness my super knowledgeable friend kait sure does!
what i appreciate about her guest post is the straight forward and honest answers. sex and pregnancy can often feel very taboo to talk about so i’m grateful to share it here. it’s all part of continuing to feel empowered during this particular life change and deciding what works best for you and your partner!
Depending on how your pregnancy is going, the idea either thrills or repulses you!
Regardless, there aren’t many conversations about sex during pregnancy. In my experience working in an ob/gyn clinic, you’re lucky if your doctor or midwife brings it up! Even you ask about it, most health care providers only get a few hours of sex education and might not have the answers you need.
Wherever you fall on the “I feel like a goddess” to “OMG I feel gross!,” read on for everything you need to know to enjoy sex if and when you want it.
Obligatory disclaimer: I’m not a doctor or midwife and this isn’t medical advice. Always check in with your healthcare provider if you have specific questions.
Will I want to have sex during pregnancy?
It really depends. Most people find that their sex drive disappears during the first trimester (thanks morning sickness and fatigue) and comes back with a vengeance during the second.
Of course, this is a general pattern and if it doesn’t match your experiences, that’s ok! It’s most important to listen to your body. Do what feels good and change or avoid what doesn’t.
Is pregnancy sex safe?
For most people, absolutely! Your amazing body has two built in protection mechanisms that keep your fetus safe: the amniotic fluid and the mucus plug.
So if you’re in the mood and your healthcare provider hasn’t told you otherwise, get on with your bad self!
Will the baby know we’re doing it?!
Nope! They can’t watch, even when you’re full term.
Will having sex during pregnancy induce labor?
Frankly: we aren’t sure.
Here’s what we know: some sexy time activities—like nipple stimulation and orgasm—cause your body to release the same hormones released during labor and cause the muscles in your vagina and uterus to contract. These contractions likely aren’t strong enough to induce labor.
I personally recommend not worrying about this until close to your due date or if you have pregnancy complications. And if you’re overdue? Go at it like rabbits!
Is it important to have sex during pregnancy?
Technically, no. You’re pregnant so sex has done it’s “job.”
But let’s be real—you have sex for reasons other than trying to get pregnant. Reasons like pleasure and feeling closer to your partner. During pregnancy, those reasons are even more important!
Sex lets you and your partner reconnect physically, mentally, and emotionally. Plus, orgasms are great for your health! The hormones released when you climax:
· Relieve stress
· Help you sleep better
· Reduce pain
· Deepen the bond with your partner
· Make you feel happier
Pregnancy can be difficult enough. Why not treat yo’self to some nookie?!
Will pregnancy sex even feel good?
Yup! Thanks to increased estrogen, your may enjoy
- more sensitive breasts
- stronger orgasms
- more natural lubrication
Pregnancy is also a great time to explore (more on that below). As your body changes, different parts may become more or less sensitive. Explore what feels yummy and change or avoid what doesn’t!
Are there things I should avoid during pregnancy sex?
While pregnancy sex is generally safe, avoid these two things:
- If your honey goes down on you, they shouldn’t blow air into your vagina. This can cause an air bubble to block a blood vessel.
- Once you reach 20 weeks, don’t lie flat on your back (like in missionary). Your enlarged uterus puts pressure on your aorta which can compromise blood flow to the placenta.
If you and your honey enjoy some darker-than-vanilla sexy activities, do your research* about it’s safety during pregnancy. Some, like spanking and bondage, may be okay with adjustments. Others should likely be avoided completely.
Lastly, keep in mind that your pain tolerance may change- so whatever you do, start gently!
*If you have a specific question leave a comment below or email me at passionbykait at gmail dot com.
What are the best positions for pregnancy sex?
As your pregnancy progresses, you may feel uncomfortable in your favorite positions. That makes this is a great time to explore new positions and change up your favorites!
Use pillows to make pregnancy sex comfortable and pleasurable. Prop them around you to reduce strain, support your belly, balance out your body, and raise your torso for a better angle. You can use any ol’ pillow but I’m a huge fan of the Liberator pillows. They’re super firm and covered with a removable, machine-washable, waterproof case. While I haven’t been preggers, I do have lots of joint issues. I personally find the Liberator pillows support me better and are more comfy and less of a nuisance than regular pillows.
Want to try a new position or tweak your stand-bys? Here are some sexy ideas:
- Missionary: wedge a firm pillow under your left hip to remove pressure on your aorta. To switch it up, lie on the edge of the bed with your knees and feet bent while your honey stands or kneels between your legs
- Doggy Style: stack pillows under your chest and belly. Make sure your partner doesn’t pump too hard or too deep. In fact, you may want to stick with rotating your hips. He also lean over your back and reach around to stimulate your clit.
- Spooning: lie side-by-side with your back to your partner’s chest. You can keep your legs straight or bend your knees. If you choose the latter, try placing your top leg back over your partner’s or simply opening it up and having them hold the knees. This leaves your clitoris open to stimulation with fingers (yours or theirs) or a vibrator. Use pillows under your head and side for support.
- You on Top: This position doesn’t need adjusting since there’s no pressure on your belly and you control penetration and speed. For extra balance or to switch it up, grab onto the headboard. You may need to prop your honey’s back, head, and neck up with some pillows. You also can have your them sit on a chair.
- On the Couch: Kneel on the ground, facing the cushions of a couch. Bend forward, resting your upper body on the cushions. Put your arms wherever they’re most comfortable (try over your head, under your cheek or at your sides). Use pillows under your knees, arms, and head as needed. Have your partner kneel behind you. You also can kneel and rest your arms on the back of it for support.
What about lube and sex toys – are they safe?
For the most part lube and sex toys are safe during pregnancy. But you want to avoid certain ingredients and materials including:
- propylene glycol
- menthol/mint (for “cooling”)
- capsaicin/hot pepper or cinnamon (for “warming”)
- phthalates porous materials
Also, since toys tend to be firmer than your partner, and your pain tolerance may be different, always start gently!
Sex isn’t just vaginal intercourse.
Not feeling up for “sex sex”? Take it off the table. Still want to feel intimately connected with your honey? Make “foreplay” activities like making out, hand jobs & fingering, and oral sex the main event.
It’s also worth mentioning that anal sex is safe during pregnancy. However, hemorrhoids also are a common pregnancy side effect and these two don’t mix well. If you decide to explore anal, be sure to read through these tips to keep yourself and the baby safe.
Have more Qs about sex during pregnancy?
Drop ‘em in the comments and I’ll get back to you ASAP!
Your Partner in Passion,