When You Flash Back to Your Angsty Teenage Self

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i, like most of us, are very different from who we were as teenagers.

this became incredibly apparent as i willingly got out of bed at 5:20am (4:20am portland time) to attend a spin class (cycling) with my mom and sister. the offer of this never would have EVER occurred 10 years ago because my mom knew that it would be a hard “no!” with a ton of teenage angst thrown in on the side.

going back home camp

i’ve never been much of a biker let alone cycler for cardio but the current me said “yes,” pulled my hair back and saddled up.

it was harder than i anticipated, which is partly due to the 5,280 feet altitude change from my sea-level home in oregon and the other part due to my body not being used to this form of exercise. about halfway through the hour long class, the song “i woke up in a car” by something corporate came on and i was suddenly mentally transported back to my 15 year old self.

 

i was cycling next to the massive mirror and as the lyrics hit my ears, i turned to look at myself all sweaty and so very different than the girl who loved pop-punk 13 years ago.

IMG_2712

my old doc’s and something corporate shirt!

music has that strange effect on me. it’s almost as though i can feel exactly who i was when i first heard that song and again, that 15 year old me would never believe i’d be in a spin class, willingly exercising and hanging out with my mom and sister.

of course i teared up because i’m emotional and that’s okay. plus, it looked like i was just wiping sweat from my face which was also very true.

there is this strange part of me that sometimes misses that overly hormonal, moody, angsty, and angry young girl because that is who i knew so well. the other part of me is sad that i wasted so many years being a punkass.

the majority of me loves who i am and who i am still in the process of becoming but it sure is an interesting feeling to reflect on who we used to be. it’s a good reminder that if we don’t like parts about who we are, we have the ability to change.

it’s not easy, sometimes it’s sweaty and often times includes apologizing but it’s worth it.

going back home the terminal denver

i have some more gems coming up in the next post of stories told, old photos found and adventuring through the extraordinarily green colorado.

going back home colorado

 

how different are you from your teenage self?

11 Comments

  1. Elyse

    June 22, 2015 at 9:23 am

    I don’t know if there is anything specific like different tastes in music or what I like to do but I think the biggest change for me is that I have confidence. Confidence in myself; in who I am and who I’m becoming.
    Elyse recently posted…Best Weekend EVER!

    • chelsea

      June 23, 2015 at 7:45 am

      totally agree about the confidence levels for sure elyse! sometimes i wish i could tell my younger self to stand up taller and speak out more!

  2. Audrey

    June 22, 2015 at 11:10 am

    I had a really similar experience two weeks ago when I was hunting for garage sale items in my old bedroom at my parents’ house. I found a journal that I’d kept when I first started dating Kyle. WOW. I was flooded with memories and angst and everything as I read through it. I, too, was a punkass, filled with anger and confusion and angst and craziness. I love who I’ve become and I’m happy to leave that old me behind, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded of how far I’ve come sanity-wise 🙂
    (LOVE the kitty picture!)
    Audrey recently posted…Summer Cleaning…?

    • chelsea

      June 23, 2015 at 7:46 am

      it is super nice to be reminded how far we’ve come, you are so right audrey! sounds like we were similar punkasses but look at us now 🙂 high five!

  3. Courtney {Alkeks Abroad}

    June 23, 2015 at 12:56 am

    I looooved Something Corporate! And Taking Back Sunday and Dashboard and writing the lyrics on my AIM away message because my life was SO hard.

    • chelsea

      June 23, 2015 at 7:47 am

      omggggg “taking back sunday” THE best. i was especially obsessed with them! hahah hilarious memory you brought up too about those emo AIM messages hahah we totally should have chatted online courtney (BRB L8R) 🙂

  4. Addison

    June 23, 2015 at 9:47 am

    Ah, love this post! I sometimes describe that missing my younger self as feeling homesick for who I used to be, if only because that is what is so familiar. But it’s also so awesome to recognize how much I have changed! I used to be so timid and hesitant, and I have definitely grown for the better in this area! 🙂
    Addison recently posted…POETRY: I am Power.

    • chelsea

      June 24, 2015 at 9:03 am

      oh that’s a great way to put it addison, about being homesick for your old self because it was so familiar. i like that but yes, thank goodness we can also change so yay for both of us being less hesitant!
      chelsea recently posted…Going Back to Where You’re From

  5. Sabra

    June 23, 2015 at 10:28 am

    i always joke with my husband that he would have hated me if he had met me just two years earlier. I was angry, rude, and the biggest brat around and he still doesn’t believe the stories my mom tells him!!

    • chelsea

      June 24, 2015 at 9:04 am

      yeeeeees! my husband and i have totally had that same talk if we had met in high school, we would have SO not gotten along! it’s interesting how far we can grow, isn’t it sabra! thanks for your comment 🙂

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