The Hazy Fog of a Newborn
our daughter is almost 3 weeks old. while writing that sentence, i thought both “whoa, time is moving so fast” and also “whoa, only 3 weeks?! it feels like eternity.” newborn life is hard, like way harder than i anticipated. the sleep deprivation makes everything worse and those ‘witching hours’ in the evening when she wails for no apparent reason – oooof. we have had some unique challenges which have made it a bit harder so i wanted to share those with you because life isn’t always butterflies, rainbows and snickers bars (fine, it is snickers bars because i’m eating one right now).
plus, we have a pretty darn cute kid on our hands over here people so more photos are needed, right?!
i am still working on my/our birth story (and by “working,” i mean i plan on writing it at some point) but it was intense to say the least. she never turned out of the left-facing position and didn’t rotate upon delivery as she was ‘supposed to.’ that means i pushed on her
little massive head (and she pushed on my vagina) for a solid 3 hours before she entered this world! that’s a long time.
because of this, the muscles in her face and neck became super compressed and tight so nursing those first 48 hours was miserable and not successful. she lost 8% of her body weight (yes, 5-10% of weight loss is normal and expected) because she wasn’t latching and we were both super frustrated. this turned into a whirlwind of her first week of life consisting of going to see lactation specialists, a pediatric chiropractor and a pediatric dentist because it was discovered she also has a tongue tie.
our first week with atlas wasn’t my favorite. pregnancy hormones are no joke as they leave your body and my emotions spiraled worse than a bipolar tornado. i totally get why britney spears shaved her head now.
to add to that, we were doing something called ‘triple feedings.’ this meant i would try to nurse her (less-than-fun), then i would pump my breastmilk and then feed it to her with pace-bottle-fedding. this took about 45-60 minutes and then we had to do it all over again about an hour later. did i mention newborns eat like 9-12 times a day!? my supply was just coming in so there were no reserves for that first week. i think i cried more that week that i have in the past few years combined.
thankfully now my supply is good and i am two feedings ahead. this means that i try to nurse her every few feedings and my amazing husband can feed her while i pump more liquid gold. she is back on track for her weight gain and getting cuter every day!
let me pause a moment and say what a truly amazing partner my husband is – i am so grateful for him. i have literally tried to write 15 different sentences right here attempting to express how supportive, helpful and encouraging he has been over these past few weeks but words don’t do him justice. of course i have fallen in love with him deeper while seeing him become a father but more than that, he has showered me with extra love and affection on a whole new level. i am so grateful to be doing this with him because part of me truly feels like i wouldn’t survive without him.
also, massive shoutout to our parents because they have been amazing. they have cleaned for us, cooked for us, held and consoled our screaming child, snuggled her so we could get a few hours of sleep and have been essential parts of our lives these past few weeks! thanks family! while we are on the subject of parents, go thank yours and give them a hug because this newborn rearing is no joke. they did a lot for you those first weeks of life.
we are headed back to the pediatric dentist today to see if he can get his hands in her mouth to check things out (her muscles were so tight the first time we went in for a consult – hence the chiropractor). please send us good vibes for a quick procedure and fast healing for our brave little attie!
overall, we are all healthy and that is not something to be taken lightly. she continues to amaze us with her funny noises, sweet (reflex) smiles and insanely strong neck for her age! we are continuing to learn how to be parents to a newborn and she is continuing to learn how to live on planet earth outside of my womb.
it is certainly an adjustment period for all of us but at the end of the day (actually, about midmorning when everyone is fed and happy), we are grateful to all be on this journey together.
oh, and sugar is SUCH a sweet big sister!