The Great Avery Pop-Tart Debate of 2014
what did we ever do before social media? we actually probably had closer connections with people, didn’t waste hours trying to compare our life to others or taking selfies but for the purpose of this blog post…social media saves the day!
do you ever have those fights discussions with your spouse over ridiculous things but you know you are right and have to prove it? this occurred shortly after playing our ‘kids-on-a-leash‘ game over the weekend when my husband went into large grocery store that we never shop at because it’s hell on earth and overrun with crazies (it rhymes with ‘wal-shart’).
we had a gift card there so he went to grab a few things while i sat in the car and basically did anything else besides going into that store.
he comes back out and says “i am never going in there again but they really do have low prices so i got a few things for our trip to asia. i thought pop-tarts would be good for our travels and as a snack.”
in the 7 years of being together…we have never, ever, EVER bought or had pop-tarts in or around our home. this is the first strange thing. maybe men really do get weird cravings similar to PMS?
the crazier news of his purchase…he intentionally bought PLAIN-NO-ICING-POP-TARTS.
i didn’t know anyone actually bought these and the one time i saw them in a grocery store i thought it was a mistake. they were just sitting there, collecting dust and looking sad and begging to be frosted.
me: “OMG. you have made a terrible mistake! you accidentally got the ones without icing! turn around and let’s return them!”
my husband: “what are you talking about?? no one actually buys the frosted ones! that’s so gross. no one eats those.”
me: “OMG. ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS!? SAY YOU PROMISE. THIS IS APPALLING. I AM LITERALLY GAGGING AT THE THOUGHT OF EATING THESE AND IT’S MAKING ME QUESTION ALL OF YOUR LIFE CHOICES.”
(some people that know me might say i tend to get ‘a little intense’ or slightly ‘overreact’ to things)
my husband: “say YOU promise you like frosted ones! these are the very best ones. you toast them and then put butter on them. everybody knows that. no one thinks of frosting when they think of pop-tarts.“
me: “is this what it means to be married to a texan? you just put butter on everything and think it’s acceptable to eat these sad pastries without their frosting?! i’m asking facebook because you are being ridiculous.”
and so i did.
116 comments from about 110 different people all weighing in on the ‘avery pop-tart debate of 2014.’
i win with more than 75 people all agreeing pop-tops are synonymous with icing and others sharing in my appalled feeling.
fact: even though pop-tarts come in packages of 2, 1 pop-tart is 200 calories (unfrosted) and contains 13 grams of sugar, which is more than some donuts. give me a donut any day of any year compared to this!
i am a little embarrassed they are sitting in our cupboard now.
questions:
1) chime in…frosted or plain pop-tarts?
2) last ridiculous discussion you got in with your spouse?
3) favorite unhealthy food?
Brittany
August 5, 2014 at 10:12 am
Umm.. this type of “discussion” is not weird in our household. As avid sport enthusiasts and having no favorite teams in common… the majority of our fights come from which is the best soccer formation to play in or for cheering for my fantasy football player that plays for my husbands rival. We try to use this to our advantage by making bets on our teams to divvy up the chores in the house. Luckily Broncos and Avalanche did well last year so I have had a wonderful year of next to no cleaning. 🙂
chelsea
August 5, 2014 at 1:36 pm
ohhh man brittany i cannot imagine the cheering and fights that ensue from having differing sports teams! i am not allowed to get into sports because i become entirely too attached and passionate.
i loooove that you make bets to divvy up chores-we do that too but when we play cards! however…i have obviously been doing it VERY wrong when i see your bet lasted an entire year! that is a game changer for me-amazing (and well played!)
Paula Howley
August 5, 2014 at 12:37 pm
1. For the love of God….FROSTING!!! what’s the bloody point otherwise?
2. My husband actually had the GALL to post the following on his FB last night: It was that older Rico Sauve kind of beer fellow and it said “I don’t always move as fast as a ninja, but when I do it’s because the dog is about to throw up on the carpet”
I couldn’t BELIEVE the nerve. I have literally been cleaning up child and dog puke since Saturday. Yes, they both decided to get sick at the same time. You know how many times Lloyd has cleaned up the puke?
ZERO.
Not surprised? Me neither. So I absolutely could NOT let that BS comment stand and we got into it this morning on the phone while he was at work.
3. Chips and ginger ale…God, please help me STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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chelsea
August 5, 2014 at 1:39 pm
i know, paula. it was really sort of disappointing to find this out and on top of that…he thought most people PREFERRED the plain ones! he’s craaaazy.
so sorry to hear the dog and the child are sick at the same time-eeeeek! he needs to do his fair share of vomit cleaning because that sounds 100% absolutely terrible. i already know i will become a bad mother when a chid or dog is sick because i cannot even begin to handle it.
eat those chips and ginger ale as your reward woman!
Heather Hawkins
August 5, 2014 at 4:45 pm
1) Frosted. I disavow any knowledge of these so called “plain” poptarts. They don’t exist in my world.
2) Last night I turned to nick and said, “I wanted to hit your thigh so badly, but I didn’t. You should applaud my restraint.” He didn’t even react so I yelled, “APPLAUD MY RESTRAINT!!!!” So he did a golf clap while still staring at his computer. It may not be a discussion, but it did remind me of you.
3) EAT ALLLLLL THE CHOCOLATE!
chelsea
August 6, 2014 at 10:40 am
haha and comment on FB was hilllarious heather!
thank you for sharing that story from last night. i feel as though nick’s response was perfect for your outburst of randomness (that i appreciate and partake in) HA! please also eat all the chocolate for me too 🙂
Darby
August 5, 2014 at 9:48 pm
Chelse – you know I love you girl, but just because 75 of 110 folks said they think of frosting in their Pop-Tart minds-eye does not make you (or them) right. Plain strawberry is the BOOMBASTIC. Ryan knows this and I’ll remind, that’s precisely the answer I gave before even knowing the whole story. I feel like like I’ve bonded with Ryan throughout this Pop-Tart experience, and I’m grateful for that. ;>)
I might conclude with an idea that this debate is more an insight as to whether one is a flavor purist, or one is a “sugar shit up” type, with the ultimate goal of wanting things to just taste the same – sugary.
Or I might just think you all are super cute for this adorable marital disagreement. Sure makes life fun.
chelsea
August 6, 2014 at 10:47 am
and here i thought your tastebuds were all cool because of all the good cheese you eat and drinks you enjoy but then you lay this ‘plain strawberry’ shit down and it makes me wonder, darby.
you are both ridiculous but i am happy that i could facilitate the bonding between you and ravery.
i can maybe appreciate what you are saying about the ‘flavor purist’ but only in terms of other pop-tart flavors with frosting on them. like…never give me a cherry one or a chocolate on chocolate (or maybe we should focus on the fact that pop-tarts are marketed as a breakfast thing?)
Karen
August 6, 2014 at 10:07 pm
OK. I felt compelled after reading your blog post to try them myself. As a quality assurance tester and a person who went to culinary school, I felt I was qualified to make an objective evaluation. Hence, I headed to the same (evil) store to purchase blueberry PopTarts (I’m allergic to strawberries).
Test Results (Blueberry frosted vs. Blueberry unfrosted PopTarts):
Dry, cold frosted vs unfrosted PopTarts: Frosted wins hands down. Unfrosted, cold PopTart tastes like blueberry-flavored cardboard. Blech.
Dry, toasted frosted vs unfrosted PopTarts: Frosted easily trumps unfrosted, which now taste like marginally superior blueberry-favored cardboard.
Buttered and toasted frosted vs unfrosted PopTarts: Both are yummy. I didn’t know how much better butter makes everything taste, but I would consider a buttered and toasted blueberry unfrosted PopTart as actual food (and edible) in this scenario. Who knew a frosted PopTart would be even better with butter?
Now, on to the buttering–is that a Texas thing? I have never heard of this–nor had my friends who prefer unfrosted.
Hopefully, I will never be forced to eat another PopTart, but I made the sacrifice for you two this time–so I could help you with a definitive answer. I am a quality assurance tester and I went to cooking school, so I must be right….
chelsea
August 7, 2014 at 11:09 am
this is beyond hilarious and amazing karen! totally love that you took this to the ultimate test and it seems as though i need to put some butter on my frosted pop-tarts (and then workout for 6 hours).
it may be a texas thing because a few people who said ‘butter’ on the FB thread are from texas but 1 isn’t so i have no idea but it’s weird. thank you for your sacrifice and your scientific testing karen, we are lucky for your skill set!
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