Thanks for Bearing With Me!

By  |  31 Comments

i so appreciate the outpouring of love and support both my in-person and online friends continue to give me while dealing with postpartum depression. i do feel much more “even” than i did a few months ago but not where i want/need to be.

you may have noticed i haven’t been blogging as consistently as i had been for the past 3+ years. if you haven’t, well, just pretend like you noticed jeeeeez.

here’s the tricky thing for me with depression – it strips me of my creativity.

writing has been an enjoyable outlet for my creativity and lately i have been struggling to get my groove back. it is disappointing to feel this way because blogging has been an important part of who i am and how i identify.

it is also very frustrating to feel this way.

the past year or so, i finally started feeling confident about being an entrepreneur, creating valuable content and beginning to expand what i want the new wifestyle to be. it is hard to be in the business that my husband and i are in because it is based on our intellectual property. at the moment, my ‘property’ feels like it’s been burned to the ground. however, that’s what homeowner’s insurance is for, right…? (okay, enough with this odd metaphor).

as i sit here writing, i am realizing that it’s actually a good sign that i’m feeling frustrated by a lack of desire to create. up until recently, i have felt apathetic about it all so feeling frustration is a step in the right direction.

with that being said, i shall share a few updates with you!

first things first, atlas is growing more and more adorable by the day! she is smiling, giggling and developing as she should be. she’s currently 26 inches long and about 15lbs. it’s awesome and so very much better than those newborn days. ooof.

she is happiest morning person and the smiles she gives us when she first wakes up could melt elsa’s entire ice castle.

we took our first trip of 2017 to portland, oregon last week. before we left, ravery and i put in our calendar “plan food for portland” because we wanted to be sure to hit all the places we missed and wanted to try. then we got hit with food poisoning as we boarded the plane and my nightmare came true. i’ll spare you the details but know it was horrible.

then, portland got hit with the 5th worst snowstorm in its history.

i know it may not look like much (seeing as how there are currently 6 inches out my window in colorado) but portland is not equipped to handle that much snow. the city shuts down. we had to cancel many plans with friends. being trapped in a hotel while the city is full of your friends is highly upsetting.

thankfully we got out thursday night with our besties to try M.E.C. in portland (it’s insanely good mediterranean food). it was the first real food we had since we landed on monday.

we were so stir crazy from hotel life that, without alcohol, all of us were laughing to the point of crying thanks to snapchat’s faceswap.

if you wondered what i might look like with a beard, wonder no more:

in the midst of this, something unique happened. by merging our two husbands, a very sexy man (and an elf) were born:

i’ll let you decide who is who.

i also must share the below photo with you. atlas can throw a mean bottom lip and i find it equally sad and absolutely hilarious. what made her stick out her lip? my soulfriend lindsey was holding her and i, her mother, walked up and smiled at her. hahaha

again, thank you for bearing with me. i miss my blogging friends. i miss feeling a purpose in addition to motherhood. i miss the way i used to feel. if stella can get her groove back, so can i.

i am having mixed feelings of providing random life updates and actually providing content that has more value in it. if you have a preference or things you like that i write about, please let me know. it may help to spark something and i’ll give you full credit!

i am going to do my best to post each wednesday so be on the look out! okay, back to singing children’s songs, dealing with taxes and being a human teething resource for this kid of mine!

31 Comments

  1. Penny

    January 18, 2017 at 9:40 am

    hang in their chelsea. you are great and i so love reading all or anything your post. i am sure the first few months of having a new baby is the most difficult. but you are getting through it. atlas is thriving and so are you maybe not like you would like but you are getting better. i look forward to every wednesday here or whatever you post on fb. take care and hugs. penny

    • chelsea

      January 18, 2017 at 2:38 pm

      thank you penny! i appreciate your reading and for your comment saying you’ll read it all 🙂 you are right, atlas is thriving and that’s something i am so grateful for!

  2. Audrey

    January 18, 2017 at 9:45 am

    Hey lady- you do whatever you need to do 🙂 I think you’re doing a stellar job being a wife and a mama and a world-traveler and a human 🙂
    I’m glad things are getting a little better for you and Atlas. I love all your adorable snapchats! (And the liquor in the caldron!)

    As far as blog posts go, I was thinking about seeing if you’d want to collaborate some time on a post about working with your spouse! I’ve only been at it for a few weeks, but the post idea w/ you immediately came to mind when I started here!
    Audrey recently posted…Amazoning *Christmas Edition*

    • chelsea

      January 18, 2017 at 2:39 pm

      your vote of confidence means more than you may know, audrey so thank you! i have SO missed being in the blogging world and you are a part of that (so i’m saying i miss you in a non-weird way) 🙂

      i’d totally love to collaborate on working with your spouse – love that idea! it’s definitely a unique thing!

  3. Elyse @ JustMurrayed

    January 18, 2017 at 9:45 am

    You got this, Chelsea! Atlas is growing like a weed(seriously…tallest baby ever?). Healing your mind and body take time, just like growing Atlas took. When you’ve fully healed your mind and body, I’m sure the creativity will flow again. Be kind to yourself, friend!

    • chelsea

      January 18, 2017 at 2:41 pm

      thank you elyse! i am missing your blog and catching up on your life – i hope you are grand 🙂 and yes, she’s totally the tallest baby – she’s usually measuring between 93-99% of other babies her age haha!

      thank you for making that point of healing my mind and body just as i did with atlas. thank you <3
      chelsea recently posted…Thanks for Bearing With Me!

  4. Christina @ Hugs and Lattes

    January 18, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Hey – thanks for gracing us with your presence when you can. Motherhood sounds tough, so there is a lot of grace in that! Continue to be gracious with yourself, honest, and vulnerable. And take wine bubble baths whenever you need to. I love how Mary Oliver (if you haven’t read her, you would love her) says that in order to write, we have to write every day. Maybe try writing letter to Atlas (not on the blog, obviously, unless you wanted to) and you’ll find that your creativity flows in a new and different way! Blog post ideas:how your marriage has changed since becoming parents, how to still date your spouse with an infant, how to try to be a gracious and hopeful person with a new president (actually, I might use that one for Friday. . . Lord help us all.) You’re awesome, and you’re doing great!
    Christina @ Hugs and Lattes recently posted…3 Tips for Changing Your Name

    • chelsea

      January 18, 2017 at 2:50 pm

      fact: i truly never ever considered that “nina” was short for “christina” until i saw your name change on snapchat. hahaha i am slightly embarrassed but HI christina! wine bubbles bath really do help – i need more of that in my life.

      what a great idea about writing a little something every day, especially in the form of letters for atlas. thank you for that. i am going to start jotting down some thoughts to her at the end of the day. you’re fantastic 🙂

      love all your great ideas too, appreciate the prompts!

      i will definitely be reading yours about being a gracious and hopeful person with a new president…i am not there yet so i shall learn from you!
      chelsea recently posted…Thanks for Bearing With Me!

      • jenniferhastonsays

        January 18, 2017 at 6:15 pm

        This is an awesome idea! I write in a journal to Vivienne when something happens I want to remember! Example- December 5th- the first time she smiled at me ! (10 weeks) – It’s not every day and it ranges from a paragraph to two pages. I address it to her and not sure if I will wind up giving it to her or not. It helps me! Also- you are doing great! really, trust me- Another thing you could blog about is what you know now that you didn’t know before-

  5. Paula Howley

    January 18, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    Listen girl, I REALLY miss your posts because you are so real and so funny. So, you just go ahead and post whatever the hell you want. Life with a new baby and post-partum IS content. It’s the bloody content of our lives! And we as women have to deal with this stuff so off with the guilt Chelsea.
    You are a valuable human being beyond motherhood and you have important contributions to make.
    That said, you ride out what you feel like you need to ride out. Take care of you, however you do that. You are loved. And we will be waiting because of that. 🙂
    Paula Howley recently posted…PIVOT

    • chelsea

      January 23, 2017 at 5:30 pm

      thanks for saying so paula – i have truly channeled your awesome energy on some of my tougher mom days 🙂 still trying to figure out exactly how to better care for myself but it’s getting easier. thanks for all the words of encouragement and support – grateful for you paula!

  6. Vivien

    January 18, 2017 at 2:00 pm

    I’ve missed your posts! I’ve been checking your blog almost daily hoping for a new post, but I know a little someone is probably taking up more of your time, and rightly so.
    I think what I like most of your blog, is that it is YOU. You share about your life, lessons you’ve learned, what you want to share, you are candid, genuine and real.
    Whatever you wish to share with us, it will have great value.
    Vivien recently posted…Almost a Champ Again

    • chelsea

      January 23, 2017 at 5:32 pm

      aw thank you vivien – i have missed you too! thanks for the reminder that i am enough and what i share is enough – that goes a very long way for me. thank you vivien!

  7. Amberly

    January 18, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    I can relate. My postpartum blahs really got me down. I was so overwhelmed by everything in my life that I couldn’t focus on any one task and the to do list in every area of life (work, home, blog) just kept getting bigger and bigger. I’m on week five I think of medication and I honestly feel more normal, happy and motivated than I have in more than a year.
    Amberly recently posted…Wives to Watch in Every Stage of Life – Elyse from Just Murrayed

    • chelsea

      January 23, 2017 at 5:35 pm

      i have been so impressed with your more frequent posting amberly – way to keep it up! i am so happy to hear you a feeling much better after being on medication (i am too)! glad the motivation is returning too – i am hopeful for that!

  8. jenniferhastonsays

    January 18, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    Thank you for always being honest!
    My favourite posts of yours are usually
    the ones where you confess
    a difficulty. I realize those are probably the hardest to write- . Additionally when you talk about your role as wife
    and mother- Navigating those waters is not for the weak of heart or spirit and I so appreciate your passion for the subject! Also, cut yourself some slack, Mama, you gave birth in September!!

    • chelsea

      January 23, 2017 at 5:37 pm

      you definitely get where i’m coming from jennifer – being a new mom as well! thanks for letting me know what you enjoy reading about, i appreciate that 🙂
      chelsea recently posted…Let’s Talk About Sexism and Racism

  9. PK Eastman

    January 18, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    So good to “see” you back, Chelsea. Life changes us, and if we listen thoughtfully, mindfully, usually for the better. I once was a wife and then beccame a mother (6 times). Next came Empty Nester and then widowhood. Each transition rained unfamiliar, and frequently uncontrollable emotions down upon my head and my heart. I thought sleep deprivation would never end; potty training would do me in, adolescent girls would daily drive me crazy; adolescent boys would drive me to murder at midnight. After each successful “launch” I often felt I would succumb to sadness so deep I might drown in it. And all that was by age 46.

    Be kind to you and your kindness will cradle you baby. Be patient with your developing Motherhood and Atlas will become patient with you and her world. Seek to see the blessings in the growing pains found in all families, whether new or not so much. Use your gratitude for happiness or challenges to bring you Grace and growth so you will cherish the beauty in ordinary days.

    Whether you write the prose of every day life or the poetry of exceptional insights, matters not. We only need to hear your voice because it is an important to be connected as women, wives and mothers. This is the true circle of life.

    • chelsea

      January 24, 2017 at 1:30 pm

      aw thank you so much PK for this comment. it totally made me misty-eyed 🙂 love your wording of “kindness will cradle your baby” thank you for taking the time to write this because you’re right, we need to be connected as women, wives and mothers. appreciate you!

  10. Meagan

    January 18, 2017 at 9:09 pm

    I adored your post this week…. by no means would I wish sadness or depression, but sharing these demons makes them weaker. You are experiencing a life worth living … warts and all … and sharing your experiences .ideas , and maybe even tips inspires us to do the same in our own messy dysfunctional and ultimately glorious lives.

    • chelsea

      January 24, 2017 at 1:32 pm

      aw thank you meagan! you are totally right. while it’s often difficult to start the process of sharing, once it’s out i do often feel like the demons have less power. right you are that we all experience messy, dysfunctional, glorious lives (sounds like a good band name)

  11. Claire

    January 19, 2017 at 8:52 am

    Girl, I love what you write, and you are being so courageous being so honest with your readers. As Dory says “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming”, and before you know it, you will be where you want to be 🙂

    As for blog ideas, have you heard of ‘bullet journalling’? It might not warrant a whole post, but it is for sure another cool way to jot down what is going on in day-to-day life.

    Here is an article from Buzzfeed: https://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelwmiller/mental-health-bullet-journal?utm_term=.vfWAYnn09#.vl2m3ppWP

    • chelsea

      January 24, 2017 at 1:35 pm

      yes just keep swimming indeed and love your added piece of “i will eventually be where i want to be” 🙂 thank you claire! i also appreciate your linking to bullet journaling. i heard of that for planners but i totally love the idea of that for journaling! i will have to give it a go and report back. thank you <3

      • Claire

        January 25, 2017 at 7:52 am

        🙂 Thanks for responding back!

  12. Angelica

    January 19, 2017 at 2:05 pm

    Hi Chelsea,
    Thanks for another great post! I have a topic idea that I’d love to hear your thoughts on – my husband and I have decided to try for a baby too. And we want to make sure we stay focused on our marriage. Do you have any advice for a couple with no clue, or things you both wish you knew?

    Also I always appreciate your transparency, even with unpleasant things. You are awesome.

    • chelsea

      January 24, 2017 at 1:41 pm

      awww yay congratulations to you and your husband for making the choice to try for a baby! yay it really does keep getting better every day! those are great blog suggestions – i will throw those around the ol’ noggin and let you know what works for us. thank you angelica!
      chelsea recently posted…Let’s Talk About Sexism and Racism

  13. Kristen

    January 21, 2017 at 5:31 pm

    I love reading your life updates. I came for the general content, but I stuck around loyally because of you and the fantastic life you’ve built (and continue to build). I’m personally invested and supportive. Take all the time you need, we’ll be here!
    Kristen recently posted…More Italian Citizenship News

    • chelsea

      January 24, 2017 at 1:43 pm

      i really appreciate you saying that kristen! thank you for being supportive and letting me know you’ll still be here. that suddenly let me breathe a little easier so thank you 🙂

  14. Marilyn Jess

    January 24, 2017 at 5:31 am

    Hi Chelsea, first, let me say how quickly and beautifully Atlas is growing. It still amazes me how babies change so fast. The photos you post prove that, over and over. And….thank you for being so open and honest about your experience. It is only by shining light on what we think of as darkness do we understand both the light and the darkness better. Please know that you have a huge tribe pulling for you. XO

    • chelsea

      January 24, 2017 at 1:45 pm

      she really is growing so quickly and beautifully – thank you marilyn! it is insane how quickly they develop! i have been rolling around the light/darkness sentence you shared and it really speaks to me so thank you for sharing that!

      • Marilyn Jess

        January 25, 2017 at 6:16 am

        That sentence comes from life experience. I’ve had more than many who follow this blog, only now do I realize what a blessing that is.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge