Why You Need to Schedule a “Love Day”
the relationship between me and my husband has admittedly changed quite a bit over the past year. we’ve gone into business together, both full-time. while there are many great things about this, it can also be more challenging to carve out time just for the two of us and not have our business constantly feel like the third wheel on our dates and time together.
even though we often work together every day, we usually have different meetings with clients and an assortment of projects we work on from developing workshops, keynotes and our individual blogs. we make it a point to eat lunch and dinner together (away from our computers) whenever we are both at home but sometimes i want more than just 27 minutes of watching each other eat and then get back at it.
starting a business also means we are almost always working on the weekends so we no longer have that traditional “YAY! it’s the customary two days off between drudging through that 9-5 again next week!” sometimes i miss those built-in ‘days off’ but i remember all the pros even if that’s a con (like waking up when i want, working out when i want, spending my time how i want…basically doing what i want)!
my husband is really good at being fully present in whatever he’s doing. if are both working, he’s fully focused on that and not on facebook (like i am) or if we are spending time together, he’s very focused on that and not what has to get done for the business (like i am).
i am less good at this because in the back of mind, i’m anticipating what else needs to get done when we get back to work. we talked about how we are structured differently and came up with a solution:
scheduling a “love day!”
a “love day”: a day of love and togetherness (and eatingness), if you will. we did this for the first time this past sunday and it was marvelous. we literally scheduled it in our calendar so neither of us would book anything on that day.
100% charged and ready for “love day!”
“love day” started bright and early because now we have a dog that is all sorts of demanding and has to go out because she’s been holding it for 9 hours or something.
by scheduling this day to fully focus on each other and not our business or planning for our trip to china, it allowed me to work even harder on saturday (with less time on facebook) because i knew that the next day, i would fully get to focus my mind on being with my husband and relaxing.
the day started off with breakfast burritos from qdoba because nothing kicks off a “love day” off better than eggs and potatoes smothered in queso. who doesn’t want to be smothered in queso and love?
we spent the rest of the gorgeous, 74 degree day strolling around portland, playing cards and watching our stories (aka catching up on ‘the mindy project’ and ‘modern family.’ talk of business came up organically a few times because hellllllo, you can’t just magically shut off your professional life and your personally life but we gently reminded our selves that all that could be discussed the following day.
we didn’t get together with friends (even turning brunch down!), we didn’t check email, we didn’t text people and stayed off social media for the most part. it was a day dedicated to rekindling our love and appreciating each other as partners.
our life and our relationship looks very different than it did a year ago (actually a year ago we were on the road on a 50 city speaking tour). heck, it looks different than it did three months ago!
it’s important to remember that our lives, our love and relationship will constantly be changing and evolving. that is part of growth and a part of life. what’s vital is that you and your spouse take the time to realize this and figure out what works to get your needs met.
i know i already shared this photo…but this was happening on love day and it makes me gum-smile (that’s when you can see my gums because i’m smiling so big). part of the smile is that it’s rained almost 2 inches of rain in the past 24 hours (that’s a ton) so i appreciate looking at that glorious sun and our happiness we basked in.
maybe you have a love day every sunday or once a month, but take the time to schedule time just with your spouse and no other distractions. it will do wonders for yourself, your marriage and your love.
1) how frequently do you set a chunk of time just to spend with your spouse?
2) what activities do you both do together to feel connected and have fun?
3) i nerdily love keeping tabs on the weather. what’s it doing in your neck of the woods?