Married Life Chats Volume II
whew, how is it already monday!? weren’t we just excited for the weekend like 6 hours ago? it’s my new favorite to capture some of the ridiculous things said in the avery household recently (volume I here).
i’m also publishing this while my husband is flying 30,000 feet in the air…so ravery if you have any qualms about what is revealed below…text me when you land.
looking up an address and seeing my dad listed in his phone
me: why is my dad in your phone as “mr. turner” and not his first name?
him: because i’m southern and it’s about RESPECT!
me: oh. the south is weird.
him: i have to tell you something.
him: part of the reason i wanted to tell you your mom was coming for your birthday instead of her just walking through the door is so you could help me clean.
me: hahahaha. you get to clean the toilet for that mister.
after i had to tell him the news of dropping my phone in the toilet
him: it’s okay, it’s just money and we can make more.
me: wow. you’re being really cool about this.
him: well it’s how i’d want you to react. i mean, we could have bought a plane ticket to london but…
me: OMG JEEEEEZ
upon awakening from my slumber
him: you look like medusa!
me: shut it.
him: never mind. you just look crazy.
him: can you hand me the bag of chips?
me: no because i’m in the process of eating them all.
as we are hugging in the kitchen
him: you kinda smell.
me: no i don’t, i just took a shower. smell (makes him smell my armpit)
him: oh. maybe it’s me. (sniffs his armpit). yup. i guess i do sweat when i workout…
*meanwhile i start sweating at the mention of working out.
him: so “parenthood” was good last night?
me: yeah. it’s always good.
him: i heard you crying so i figured it was good one.
me: i wasn’t crying. i just have a cold every time i watch it.
him: *mocks me blubbering and mumbles something about tv dramas.
after eating a donut (obviously before we started the ‘whole30’)
me: ow. my teeth kinda hurt.
him: it’s because you don’t brush your teeth every day.
me: what?! yes i do!
him: i know. i’m just mad because you’re teeth are whiter than mine.
please share a funny conversation you’ve had recently so i feel less weird…