Is My Biological Clock Broken?
as you know from my last post where i basically (wo)man-handled a pregnant lady, i am super intrigued and mystified by the process of bringing life into this world. well…not completely mystified by the whole process, i understand the birds and bees and the satin sheets but beyond that something grows inside of a woman and then comes out of her.
while i am immensely curious and so happy for my friends who are in the process of creating organs, eyes, a heart, fingernails, etc. on a human, this is not translating into increasing my feelings of wanting a baby sooner than later.
when my husband and i celebrated our 4th anniversary with promises of not making him laugh while drinking milk, i asked him if there was anything that had turned out differently than what he had in his mind from the day we got married. if you’ve been reading for a while, then you know we’ve won a world championship, have started 2 businesses together, moved to TX and back to portland within 6 months, given up dreams for others and so on so i was surprised by his answer.
him: “i thought you would be a little more interested and ready to have a kid together by now.”
me: “oh. hmmm. maybe my biological clock is broken because i feel no urgency or rush or surge of baby energy to procreate at the moment.”
him: “i know and that’s perfectly okay i just thought we’d be planning a bit more about having a baby than we are.”
me: “hmmm. yeah…i’m just going to go drink wine and color soooooo…”
let’s all take a minute and remember that having a baby is a choice and not a must for all women and families.
that being said, there is a pretty solid chance that my husband and i will have babies (well, i feel like i get a slightly larger say since it’s my womb and all) so it’s making me feel weird that i have almost zero pull and am not experiencing ‘baby fever.’ part of this could be that we are new business owners and “stability” isn’t in our every day language. maybe not all women get this feeling either.
granted, i’ll be 28 in a few months so that could be part of it too. my eggs still have a few years before they start ripening up (is that too weird of a visual?) and maybe i’ll feel a deeper sense of urgency as i get older.
i often just feel like there is a hype when you hit mid-to-later 20s about getting a ‘feeling’ that you just have to have a baby and maybe that feeling doesn’t exist for me. or maybe i will wake up one day and be overcome with the massive need to have something grow inside of me.
i am curious how many women have this feeling of suddenly getting the ‘urge’ to have a baby and others who may not feel it so intensely? like i said, i’m mystified and fascinated by the whole process so i also find it curious about women’s feelings leading up to wanting to try and get pregnant. i suppose if you have one of those ‘happy accident’ pregnancy, this feeling may also be absent but let’s talk about it!