I Survived and So Did He
first off, all of our readers and friends are amazing. the first reason is because of your outpouring of well wishes for ryan’s speedy recovery after our big scare on tuesday night. the second is because of all the advice and encouragement i received when i gave my first speech in toastmasters on tuesday morning. tuesday was apparently a big day for us.
i suppose we should start with things in chronological order. on monday i wrote a blog post about needing some advice for my first speech that i had to give tuesday morning and wooowheee did i get some great advice! i practiced a ton throughout monday and then when ryan got home at 9pm, i finally practiced it in front of him.
i kept saying ‘no thank you’ when he asked if i’d like to practice with him because it made me so nervous. i’m not really sure why. maybe it’s because he’s an amazing speaker, maybe it’s because i’m used to sitting on the couch coaching him, maybe it’s because i sometimes have a hard time taking his advice because i’m stubborn. like all of you who know ryan personally, he’s always so genuinely supportive and caring that when i got finished with my practice run- he got up, hugged me and said he was so proud of me (nerves really set you up for some weird things).
i woke up early to practice some more on tuesday morning before the 7am meeting (and by ‘woke up early’ i mean my body woke up early because my mind was freaking us out. yes, apparently my body and mind are separate from me at times).
usually when i get nervous, i can’t eat but my stomach was growling so i ate a few of my trusty wheat thins and wrote up an outline of my speech. i took a lot of people’s advice of making sure my lips were well moisturized (so i wasn’t constantly licking my lips), i had my water bottle with me to wet my whistle before i went up and most importantly i remembered that everyone there (and virtually) was wanting me to succeed. now at first, that statement intimidated me. “everyone wanted me to succeed.” sometimes i turn simple sentences into stressful sentences and felt an enormous amount of pressure to succeed.
succeed because i’m not only married to the world champion of public speaking but also because i coached him. shouldn’t that automatically make me a great public speaker if that’s what i’m coaching on?! not necessarily, you see i’m just really good at telling people what to do. ha! i’ve also studied a lot of great speakers, know what to look for in stage presence, messaging and how to engage with people. i have also had to give presentations and speeches in the past but for some reason this felt like a whole new ball game (once again, nerves set you up for weird feelings). anyways…
right before i went up, i took two deep breaths, gave ryan a squeeze on the hand and thought to myself “ya know what-you got this.” i felt nervous in the beginning and then really nervous when the timing lights starting going off but i pushed past it (hopefully some of you chuckled, especially those of you in district 7 since ‘push past it’ was ryan’s semi-finals speech and everyone’s heard it 72 times). i didn’t use my outline because i knew my story. i didn’t pass out or puke (that’s what i was afraid of). i made my audience laugh, i held their attention (this is important because it was 7:15am) and i even messed up my ending but no one knew what it was supposed to be so no one (but me) cared. overall, i’d say i rocked it. i also need more practice, which i will get but i am pretty pleased with myself because practice paid off and it’s important to pat yourself on the back when you do something that terrifies you. so *pat pat.*
my evaluator started off with saying “i’m so amazed and yet not at all amazed,” and went on to say that she was impressed by my first speech and the fact i didn’t need notes, i knew what to do with my hands and made people laugh. yet not amazed because i’d been massively studying and inadvertently practicing speaking for the past year. she totally boosted my confidence (thanks ellen!). i considered that i was owed by the universe a treat for my success and then remembered i ate about 3920 treats in the past month so opted for a homemade chai tea instead of the whole cake i was considering.
and then you know how we spent our tuesday night in the ER so i don’t need to go into all of that again. just know it was absolutely terrifying and also know that i kept it together (miraculously). another *pat pat.* when in a crisis, only one person is allowed to freak out and that is the person that feels like they are having a heart attack so i had to remain calm, drive the 2 miles to hospital and talk soothingly to my husband who couldn’t breathe.
in my head of course i was panicking and freaking out and wanted to cry because he was in so much pain and i couldn’t do a dang thing. instead i focused on the road, held his hand and talked about the relaxing time we at the red sea on our honeymoon. here’s how much i love him…i even stayed in the room when he thought he was going to throw up. have i mentioned vomit is one of my very worst fears in all of life? well it is but i covered my ears and stayed near-ish him. i am happy to report that he is feeling ever so much better today and thank you again for keeping us in your thoughts!
life lesson: things in life are both perceived as scary and then actually scary. in both situations, remain calm and just do your very best.
1) when was the last time you felt really scared or nervous?
2) what do you do to reward yourself for a job well done? (mine is usually food related but i need to find something else)
3) what are you doing this weekend? (we are headed to portland’s toastmaster leadership conference tomorrow and then having my first general meeting with HOBY oregon on sunday!)