Why My Husband and I Started Dating Again – Part I
think about when you and your spouse first started dating. remember that excitement and thrill of curiosity when you’d go out to dinner, or your hands would slightly touch while sharing an arm rest while watching harry potter? this was over seven years ago for me and my husband.
you can read about our first date when he basically asked me to be his wife and then he was traveling/living in europe during the first seven months of our relationships. i want to share with you why my husband and i started dating again.
when we first started dating (and we were back in the same country), i distinctly remember trying on multiple outfits for our dates, using way too much product in my hair in an attempt to control my crazy curls and my legs were always shaved just in case…my ankle was ever exposed (or any funny business might occur later). i also remember never hearing any bodily air escape from either end from either of us.
as with most couples, we have grown immensely closer and a lot more comfortable with each other as our relationship has lengthened. this, generally speaking, is a very good thing and what should happen when you are married and live under the same roof.
however, we noticed a few months ago that because we were being oversharers with bodily functions, wearing the same clothes for days in a row (perk/downside of working from home) and giving my husband way too many details about my period…we started feeling more like best friends and less like lovers.
my husband has always felt like my best friend and it’s my goal for this feeling to continue but we started feeling was like we were missing the passion, the sexiness, the raw desire for one another. i totally get that sex and passion ebb and flow in any relationship (let’s be real, sometimes we just want to eat dairy and suffer the consequences of being lactose intolerant while going to bed early. sexy, i know).
as we were getting ready for bed and i was sporting unflattering granny-panties and sexily applying zit cream to my face, i turned to my husband (who was peeing 2 feet away from me) and said “i think we should go back to dating.”
we talked about how we love that we feel so comfortable with each other but at the same time it does sometimes feel like we don’t put as much effort into keeping the sexier things alive (and the grosser things not so alive).
we agreed to start dating again. it took a few days to get used to and both of us had our fair share of reminders of “ew. dating, remember?!” i didn’t really know if this would change how we felt about each other, but after doing this for the past 3 months, we have both noticed a difference.
here’s some of what we changed:
- close the door when you go to the bathroom
- clean your (read: MY) hair out of the drain after showering (i could make a few wigs with what falls from my head)
- no farts because even if they are funny sometimes, they are never sexy
- burp politely with your mouth closed and not saying words when you burp (my dad taught me that and i find it hilarious)
- put slightly more thought into looks like we used to
turns out, i actually feel more attracted to myself (is that weird?) i put in a little more effort to change out of my normal workout clothes that i tend to wear for days and put on something that makes me feel good about myself. i don’t leave clumps of my hair in the drain (don’t pretend like this doesn’t happen at your house) and while i’ll always be a proud granny-panty-wearing-lady…i can buy some new ones that are a bit more in tact and haven’t lost their elasticity.
while we are still extremely comfortable around each other, this has helped us feel more attracted to one another and not just best friends or roommates.
of course, it’s not just the physical things that make you feel like dating. read the follow up to this of 7 ways to start dating your spouse again!
1) have you experienced this in your marriage or relationship?
2) other tips to add in terms of daily routines to help reignite the spark?
3) how often do you buy new underwear? (this is an oversharing of a post)