How to Set Relationship Goals
like i’ve mentioned previously, goals sort of freak me out and i used to avoid them because it’s scary to put things down on paper and for them actually exist.
then i met my husband and to say he’s “goal oriented” would be a vast understatement. he lives and breaths and more importantly accomplishes goals that he sets.
because of him, i now set goals and with his support and encouragement, i find them slightly less terrifying but still daunting.
we have goals for our business, for our finances, for our life in general but i just realized we don’t necessarily set goals for our relationship. through a recent blog link-up created by life with amberly and joe, this helped to bring this to my attention.
important note: your marriage should be more important than your career (in my humble opinion) and we are so focused on career goals, education goals, weight loss goals, etc but what about goals for our relationship? why don’t we set those with a fury like other ones? now is the time.
sometimes goals are easier when you start smaller because those small steps can have massive change. remember that when you set goals, they should be SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely).
i brought this up with my husband while we were having our mid-afternoon snack yesterday of spoonfuls of nutella (thanks to our friend jef in texas, we have a solid supply of this and texas cookies from the summer).
we are setting a few goals for the rest of the month:
electronic free zone: as with most people, our phone is often attached to us or nearby where we can see it light up and immediately attend to someone far away as opposed to the person we are sitting near. we’ve agreed to spend at least 30 minutes together with no phones or computers in sight each night. this will be hard for me because i have an addiction to taking photos but ultimately it’s a good thing.
cook 2 new recipes each: we will each select 2 new recipes and cook them for the other person. on top of this, clean up will also be the cook’s responsibility so the other person feels ridiculously spoiled. we will each do this twice for one another. recipe ideas welcome (and please make my recipes very simple because i have messed up cereal before).
5 minutes of out-loud dreaming: it’s important to speak out loud about what you want out of life. this can be scary and feel funny at first but we are coming to realize that it’s so important to get comfortable with having big goals in life and saying them out loud. this is especially important for me and i want to do with ‘the new wifestyle’ but i often lack the confidence in myself to take it where i want to go.
the same goes for my husband and his keynoting and training. it can be scary to ask for a big ticket speech but we have to get comfortable with the value we add so taking 5 minutes each to say out loud our lofty dreams will be helpful.
here’s how you can set relationship goals:
1) identify an area that you would like to see improved in yourself
2) identify an area that you would like to see improved in your partner (come at this with love and not annoyance or trying to change your spouse)
3) where are these overlapping for you both?
4) keep the goals around 1-3 goals so you can easily focus on those and save other goals for coming months
5) set the goals together and agree to make time to meet them
by doing this, you are both investing time to create a healthier relationship and grow closer during the process. i am feeling strangely excited about making the commitment to try these tangible goals for the month (and very excited for new food to be added to our lives).
the new wifestyle: changing your attitude and behaviors to make your marriage a priority
share your own goals below because we all know publicizing them can hold us 100% more accountable! if you have a blog, consider joining the link-up!
oh and if you have a go-to recipe that we should try, please share!